Debt Dumpers - 2019

[StacyStrong]

Count me in as someone who never learned to budget growing up.

My parents', who I love, idea of a budget was trying to figure out what bill to skip that month so that no service was lost. Thankfully, they are both in MUCH MUCH better positions now and are doing very well for themselves, but there were many hushed conversations I remember hearing about "let's skip the cell phones until next month." For the record, I never went without and I don't mean to imply it.

I think that's part of why I'm here, though. Aside from my student loans, I don't have a lot of debt, but I never want to be in that kind of position - balancing missed payments. Honestly, most of my credit card debt is from law school applications and car repairs from undergrad. That stuff never disappears when you're paying the minimum - something I really regret doing now.

 

[Dentam]

How do you make it work for rent on months that have 2 checks?

My first check of the month goes toward bills. I set $100 aside and add that to the second check to cover rent. Right now I'm paying over $500/month toward getting my debt paid off using the snowball method. Luckily I'm a pretty frugal person. No cable, no car payment, no student loans, have done my own work on my car, cut my own hair, etc. My biggest expense is my dog. They are not cheap as others here have also mentioned. Cats are a breeze in comparison!

I never learned to budget either growing up. I don't have kids and won't, but if I did, I would be teaching them.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I guess it comes down to where you are in your life and what you can deal with. It's all a trade off. For me it's more important to have my own place and the quality of life that gives me then to save money by sharing with random roommates anymore. The last roommate I had (when I first moved to Denver) was a nutter. Seemed normal when we talked and emailed before I moved in, but man, living with someone is another story.

My friend feels the same way. I totally get it and I’m sure I would feel the same. I’ve always loved at home with my mom or with DH though, so I’ve never had a traditional roommate. BFF had some weird ones in college. She lived in an off campus apartment during her last year. While pets were allowed, she has a pretty bad cat allergy which she had definitely informed her roommate about. We’re not sure exactly when, but at some point during the year her roommate got a cat and just kept it locked in her room all the time without telling my friend. We only found out because we heard it meowing one day. I felt super bad for the poor cat! My friend confronted her and told her she needed to move out.

 

[Dentam]

My friend feels the same way. I totally get it and I’m sure I would feel the same. I’ve always loved at home with my mom or with DH though, so I’ve never had a traditional roommate. BFF had some weird ones in college. She lived in an off campus apartment during her last year. While pets were allowed, she has a pretty bad cat allergy which she had definitely informed her roommate about. We’re not sure exactly when, but at some point during the year her roommate got a cat and just kept it locked in her room all the time without telling my friend. We only found out because we heard it meowing one day. I felt super bad for the poor cat! My friend confronted her and told her she needed to move out.

I've had enough roommates for the both of us then! Most have been okay but since I've lived on my own here (about 7 years now) I don't feel that I could ever go back. I could definitely rent a cheaper place if I didn't have a huge dog, but she has added so much to my life in other ways that I wouldn't trade her either. I'm doing okay really. Paying a good chunk each month toward getting this debt out of the way and then will go from there.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

My first check of the month goes toward bills. I set $100 aside and add that to the second check to cover rent. Right now I'm paying over $500/month toward getting my debt paid off using the snowball method. Luckily I'm a pretty frugal person. No cable, no car payment, no student loans, have done my own work on my car, cut my own hair, etc. My biggest expense is my dog. They are not cheap as others here have also mentioned. Cats are a breeze in comparison!

I never learned to budget either growing up. I don't have kids and won't, but if I did, I would be teaching them.

I remember your car repair story! That was so impressive. I didn't mean to imply that you're doing something wrong; you're obviously cutting a lot out that isn't necessary. I wasn't trying to attack, just that math to me, is so black & white, no gray area. I was really just trying to help.

I agree with pets being worth their cost. They are so lovable. My cat is extremely inexpensive. She stays indoors so it's really a matter of kitty litter, food and treats. She was never into most cat toys. She finds things around the house to play with. Staying indoors means no fleas, ticks, car accidents or animal fights. I now wish I adopted her brother from the shelter but our lives were crazy busy 13 yrs ago when we brought her home.

No one ever taught me how to budget either. My dad just said not to use credit cards. If it weren't for my grandmother, I probably would have procrastinated 10 yrs before starting to save for retirement.

 

[Dentam]

I remember your car repair story! That was so impressive. I didn't mean to imply that you're doing something wrong; you're obviously cutting a lot out that isn't necessary. I wasn't trying to attack, just that math to me, is so black & white, no gray area. I was really just trying to help.

I didn't take it that way at all! Sorry if it seemed like I did!

I agree with pets being worth their cost. They are so lovable. My cat is extremely inexpensive. She stays indoors so it's really a matter of kitty litter, food and treats. She was never into most cat toys. She finds things around the house to play with. Staying indoors means no fleas, ticks, car accidents or animal fights. I now wish I adopted her brother from the shelter but our lives were crazy busy 13 yrs ago when we brought her home.

Same with my kitty - he'll be ten this year and spends 95% of his time indoors. The 5% spent outside is during the summer time when he likes to lounge in the fenced backyard. One good thing about Denver is that we don't have the issue with fleas like other areas, so I haven't had to give him flea medicine in years. Now if I could just get him to stop begging me for canned food every few hours we'd be golden!

 

[jackers]

Yeah, I've maintained a spreadsheet of bills for a few years now with due dates, balances, priority of payoff, etc. I pay all of my bills with the first check of the month, plus set aside an extra $100 since sadly my rent is over half of my take home pay (yay, Denver).

I think this is where I get confused. It will be extra at some point, but not on the date that I receive that third check for the month because I have to use it to pay bills that are due again.

Ah, adulting. So fun!

My extra paycheck month is coming up in March. I am currently 2 weeks ahead so here is how my year has looked so far and why I have an “extra” paycheck:

January 4: paid utilities/bills that were due on the 17th, 20th, 22nd, 23rd, and 27th. Plus I add money to DS’s college fund (there is no due date to this, so it’s flexible)

January 18: paid mortgage and insurance due on the 1st and it also covers the auto-withdrawal of my YMCA membership which occurs on the 30th.

February paychecks were on the 1st and 15th and I followed a similar pattern.

In March I get paid the 1st, 15th, and 29th. I am treating the 1st as my extra paycheck, as the 15th paycheck arrives in time to cover all of the mid-month bills and the 29th is in time to cover the ones due on the 1st. (I could really treat any of the as the extra, as long as the bills get paid in time).

In April, my paychecks are the 12th and 26th, which keeps me on track for paying mid-month bills with the first and month-end bills with the second. I’m not necessarily ahead by 2 weeks anymore, but I have the whole year planned out. By July, the schedule looks similar to January (paychecks on the 5th and 19th) and then August is my three paycheck month again and I have that “extra” and the cycle starts all over again.

Probably more detail than you ever needed, but thought maybe it would be helpful.


That extra next week is coming in handy, as I had forgotten that one of my husband’s Christmas gifts I had got him was something I had pre-ordered that still hasn’t arrived. I had put a deposit down on it. I just noticed the remainder of the payment hit my CC bill yesterday, which is good timing for that extra paycheck and also means Yay! It’s finally coming! (it’s an accessory for his jeep which wasn’t needed until warm weather anyway, so no biggie that I didn’t have it at Christmas time).

 

[jen7233]

Same here. When I saw the posts about the extra march paycheck I went to check the calendar and count paydays. We'll be May.

Received tax refund last week, and paid off car #1, yeah! I think I posted that. What I didn't post was that I forgot to shut off the autopay and they deducted another $500 the next day. I messaged them about refunding it but the response was that I'll get a check in the mail after it's found to be overpaid. Could have used that money now, but it's not critical, so i'll just bask in the negative balance of the car...

congrats on the payoff!

No one gave you a banana dance?! Appalling!


Same. At least you learned and are moving forward now!


Also a May third checker!

We were hit with record-breaking snow last week. Six days without power. Yes, we lost food. Yes, we lost sooooo many trees. Yes, I blew my budget because you simply cannot NOT gas up the generator every night when it's 31. And we had to buy new chains for the chainsaw because ours broke. And we ate out sometimes because it was down to 50 inside the house and we were desperate for warmth and warm food and electricity. When the power finally came back on Monday night, DH and I actually danced and quickly turned on the heater. Add in my upper respiratory infection, a couple other medical issues, and I'm a tired, tired gal this week. I'd like to take the weekend off to rest, but the trees will not clear themselves off of the fences.

But, in good news: we have electricity now. THANK GOD! I'm on the mend. I'm still making my payments even though I know we will go backward this month. I'm grateful we were GIVEN a generator. Flat-out generosity enabled us to save half of our freezer foods (we lost the fridge and bottom freezer stuff) and heat our kids' bedrooms. And that this, too, shall pass. One day I'll look back and forget exactly how cold it was. But I'm moving forward. I'll recalculate the costs later this week. Or next week. But, I'll get there!

Glad the electricity came back on but wow it does have a big effect on everything else including budget!

 

[jen7233]

I imagine the answer is yes, and that it's probably how a lot of us ended up here, but does anyone else struggle with spending as a coping mechanism? I feel like emotional spending is my downfall. Nothing huge, but there's been some stress for me lately and I'm never more tempted to spend than in times of stress/ sadness/ anger/ etc. How do you guys combat it?

In some aspects, I'd say no, in others, yes. I don't do retail therapy, I actually hate shopping and stores stress me out, I don't really buy myself anything. My money issue is usually on the grander scale of financial aid to family, I've gotten much better at saying no. I think in some cultures it's just the normal to assist, and I know for my mom it was normal, she bought her parents a home, she never held back in assisting, I'm sure that's where I get it from.

 

[Dentam]

In March I get paid the 1st, 15th, and 29th. I am treating the 1st as my extra paycheck, as the 15th paycheck arrives in time to cover all of the mid-month bills and the 29th is in time to cover the ones due on the 1st. (I could really treat any of the as the extra, as long as the bills get paid in time).

This would work the same for me also except that I pay my rent through a website my landlord uses for all of her tenants and it takes a full week for it to be deposited into her account but is withdrawn from my account after a few business days. So, I can't use the paycheck from the 29th for rent that's due on April 1st if that makes sense. I should end up with extra in a few months I think though.

 

[Eureka]

The contractor came yesterday and can rebuild the cabinet under the kitchen sink for just under a thousand. A chunk of change, but not nearly as bad as I was anticipating if he'd have had to remove and replace the sink and counter. So I need to get that scheduled now. Will be glad to have that all done.

DH efiled our federal taxes and it looks like we'll get back almost enough to "cover" (even though we have/will have already paid it) the mold removal and cabinet rebuild. So that's good. He hasn't done state taxes yet but usually we either owe or get back around $100.

 

[jen7233]

DH efiled our federal taxes and it looks like we'll get back almost enough to "cover" (even though we have/will have already paid it) the mold removal and cabinet rebuild. So that's good. He hasn't done state taxes yet but usually we either owe or get back around $100.

Hopefully the mold removal and rebuild won't be too long where it affects use of the kitchen! We STILL haven't filed federal taxes, but finally have everything we need as of today, so probably will next week.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I didn't take it that way at all! Sorry if it seemed like I did!

No. Dh and kids tell me I go on and on, keep beating a dead horse, so I try to say something and drop it.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

This would work the same for me also except that I pay my rent through a website my landlord uses for all of her tenants and it takes a full week for it to be deposited into her account but is withdrawn from my account after a few business days. So, I can't use the paycheck from the 29th for rent that's due on April 1st if that makes sense. I should end up with extra in a few months I think though.

Wow that is scummy. My mortgage is just the opposite. If I schedule a payment for Feb 25, it will take the funds from my bank 2 days later but my payment is still credited for the 25th. It's like clockwork so for years I've been scheduling it 2 days before payday.

 

[crazycatstacy]

I imagine the answer is yes, and that it's probably how a lot of us ended up here, but does anyone else struggle with spending as a coping mechanism? I feel like emotional spending is my downfall. Nothing huge, but there's been some stress for me lately and I'm never more tempted to spend than in times of stress/ sadness/ anger/ etc. How do you guys combat it?

If I didn't emotionally spend and eat I would be rich and thin!!!

The check from my mom's husband was $400. Such a nice surprise!

I was not taught about money at all as a kid. I didn't even know you had to pay for water/lights/etc. When I was sixteen I wrote a TON of bad checks and my dad just paid them. No discussion, no this is what you did and why you don't, no I had to pay it back, nothing. I have tried to teach my daughter better but I know I haven't always been the best example.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

If I didn't emotionally spend and eat I would be rich and thin!!!

The check from my mom's husband was $400. Such a nice surprise!

I was not taught about money at all as a kid. I didn't even know you had to pay for water/lights/etc. When I was sixteen I wrote a TON of bad checks and my dad just paid them. No discussion, no this is what you did and why you don't, no I had to pay it back, nothing. I have tried to teach my daughter better but I know I haven't always been the best example.

When we were kids, my parents would say, "When you have your own house, I'm going to come over, turn on every single light, and jump on your bed." I thought it sounded like fun!

 

[Eureka]

Hopefully the mold removal and rebuild won't be too long where it affects use of the kitchen! We STILL haven't filed federal taxes, but finally have everything we need as of today, so probably will next week.

It hasn't . The mold removal took a few hours and then we had fans going for a weekend but could still use the kitchen. I'm hoping the rebuild will be similar.

 

[amalone1013]

(yay, Denver)

The last roommate I had (when I first moved to Denver) was a nutter. Seemed normal when we talked and emailed before I moved in, but man, living with someone is another story.

I lucked out with a random roommate in college, we became good friends, but all of my other friends had strange, non-compatible people. One girl who wouldn't ever leave the room (I mean, she must have gone to the common bathroom, but not to shower ever). One girl who would sleep all day and be up all night, flunking her classes. I felt really lucky, my roommate and I lived together all through college (though we had our moments of disagreements) but that basically narrowed my list of people I could live with to her, my BFF growing up, and DH. And now... DH. And my ILs (lol)

This would work the same for me also except that I pay my rent through a website my landlord uses for all of her tenants and it takes a full week for it to be deposited into her account but is withdrawn from my account after a few business days. So, I can't use the paycheck from the 29th for rent that's due on April 1st if that makes sense. I should end up with extra in a few months I think though.

Ugh, that's kind of a crappy system. Booo.

Count me in as someone who never learned to budget growing up.

My parents', who I love, idea of a budget was trying to figure out what bill to skip that month so that no service was lost. Thankfully, they are both in MUCH MUCH better positions now and are doing very well for themselves, but there were many hushed conversations I remember hearing about "let's skip the cell phones until next month." For the record, I never went without and I don't mean to imply it.

I think that's part of why I'm here, though. Aside from my student loans, I don't have a lot of debt, but I never want to be in that kind of position - balancing missed payments. Honestly, most of my credit card debt is from law school applications and car repairs from undergrad. That stuff never disappears when you're paying the minimum - something I really regret doing now.

This could be my parents in many ways. Except perhaps less discussion, because my dad handled the finances. We never went without either, definitely had more than we needed. But looking back as an adult I'm just like

We were always 3 months behind on the cell phone bill. About every other month they'd get shut off, and my dad would make one month's payment to turn them back on. But even when they didn't get shut off, he'd only pay one month (plus late fee) instead of ever getting current. My grandma worked for the cable/internet company and would often step in and pay the bill when she saw our service was about to be turned off (only found that out a few years back). My grandparents supplemented a lot of things, other bills, more than I knew growing up. There was lots of eating out and shopping (retail therapy). And big spending on things to impress - not even so much as keeping up with the Jones', more like being better than the Jones' if that makes sense. That's something I started to notice in high school. I also think there was vehicle buying without discussion, and debt shuffling going on. I was encouraged to max out student and parent loans (unnecessary!). Max out grad school loans (I didn't do grad school at least). After graduation encouraged to beg my grandfather to pay off student loans. Encouraged to take out credit cards and not pay them off to make my credit better. Encouraged to buy a new SUV. But through most of this I thought my dad was smart financially overall because he projected himself to me that way. Really, my parents should have had an extremely comfortable middle class lifestyle on their income for our area (my mom even went part time for awhile) but I think were way up in debt due to spending).

I wish I could say there were changes, but as far as I'm aware there are not with my dad. My mom passed away a few years ago. My dad found my stepmom, who had an extremely high paying job at the time ($250k/yr) and lived very nicely - fancy home, fancy car, fancy vacations, fancy restaurants, fancy clothes... my dad was way more in to this than my mom, she was more semi-keeping up vs he was the one who had to look like he had the best of everything/super rich lifestyle (but at heart he was cheap - not frugal, but horribly cheap, like spend money on fancy car and go in debt but try to duct tape his tennis shoes together. So stepmom's lifestyle was basically everything he had always wanted and now what they do. Including new, bigger fancy house (which was "cheap" for what it is/when they bought it - market peak - because of the area, @Dentam might recognize it... I think they may become radioactive).

I'm just like, I NEVER want to be like my parents. And I don't want my kids to have that kind of role model either.

 

[pblack]

So I spent some money last night that I didn't necessarily need to spend. A few weeks ago I saw that shopdisney was selling a 90th anniversary mickey waffle maker that makes mickey waffles like you'd get in the park. Because of the $65 price tag I was hesitant, since that's a lot of money for a waffle maker. I waited hoping it would go on sale during the friends and family sale...and then it was sold out and I couldn't find it online. I happened to look online last night and it was back in stock! My DH told me to just go ahead and buy it since I was so upset when it went out of stock lol. Guess whose making Mickey waffles when it arrives?

https://www.shopdisney.com/mickey-mouse-90th-anniversary-double-flip-waffle-maker-1485772

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Comcast just called. Our promotional rate will be expiring next month and they want to increase our price by over 25% in order to keep the same service. I am very frustrated right now.