Anyone feel like they're not "keeping up with the Jonses"?

[amcnj]

No harm in taking stock of your financial situation from time to time. It is important to live now, at whatever level you can afford to do so. But it can also be good to keep an eye on the future and see if you’ll be able to do the things you want to, whether it’s buying a house, paying for college, being able to retire when you might want to, etc. If you won’t be able to meet the longer range goals, see what can you can change now to help make them happen.

That said, for most of us there will be many people better off than us and many others worse off than us. The important thing is to be comfortable with your current situation as well as your projected future one. It doesn’t really matter what everyone else is doing and the possessions they have.

Good luck to you!

 

[Praying Colonel]

IMHO the important thing is to keep your eyes open and work a plan. A goal without a plan is a fantasy. And to execute a plan, you have to know where your money is and be willing to look at it objectively. Action cures fear.

It all sounds very trite, but you wouldn't believe the % of people who are scared to even look at what their bank balance is or what's in their retirement account.

 

[wenrob]

Don’t know your age, but my dad was like that & then suddenly got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 62 & died w/in 3 weeks of the diagnosis. So, I’m still very much of the mindset of tomorrow is not guaranteed. The money in the bank didn’t do him any good. My sister & I got the $, but we would much rather have had our dad.

On the flip of this I lost my dad a year ago November. He was 68. I wish he and my stepmother had done something, SOMETHING about their financial future. They depended on small inheritances from both their mothers that in the grand scheme were nothing (but a windfall at the time) and did not pull back on their lifestyle even when my dad got really sick. And my stepmom still hasn’t. She has nothing but social security now.

December 14th my BIL of 29 years dropped dead out of nowhere at the age of 53. They have never given a thought to the future and my sister has nothing to fall back on. Zero.

I’m sure in both cases they thought they had time to turn it around but man, life has a way of setting you straight on that when it’s too late. Do you have to save every penny? Of course not. Can you go on vacation or buy a new car? Absolutely, we need to enjoy life. But there needs to be a balance because one day you’re in your 20s/30s, carefree and living the good life and the next you’re in your 50s/60s and people are dropping around you like flies.

 

[RamblingMad]

IMHO the important thing is to keep your eyes open and work a plan. A goal without a plan is a fantasy. And to execute a plan, you have to know where your money is and be willing to look at it objectively. Action cures fear.

It all sounds very trite, but you wouldn't believe the % of people who are scared to even look at what their bank balance is or what's in their retirement account.

Pensions were so much better than 401ks.

 

[RedAngie]

The Joneses wish they could keep up with me.

 

[allison443]

Just based upon my own experiences, most people around me have not saved nearly enough to retire. I participate in another site's retirement forum to get some ideas (I'm in my 50s) and it's quite appalling the amount of people who get two years, say, from retirement, and they have saved very little and now they are scared.

Would you mind sharing the retirement forum (if that’s allowed). I have been looking for one but haven’t found a good one. PM if you like, thank you!

 

[Praying Colonel]

Pensions were so much better than 401ks.

Yes, it's hard these days to find jobs with defined-benefit pension plans. When you do find one, it's often not enough to fully fund a quality retirement (e.g., federal employees' current FERS pension vs. the old CSRS pension). Confronting these things proactively is so important.

 

[debster812]

We have fully funded 401(k), Roth IRA, etc. We did NOT save as much as we should have for DS’s college tuition. Fortunately, he’s a bright kid, with a good head on his shoulders, and chose to attend one of our excellent public universities here in MA. He will have some student loan debt when he graduates this spring. However, we are in a MUCH better place financially now, and although he doesn’t know it, we’re going to help him out in repaying these loans.

We did always ascribe to the notion that although it’s not ideal, you can take out loans for education. You cannot take out loans for retirement.

Do the best you can under your current circumstance, and take the long view

 

[disykat]

In general, we were much better set to help our kids with college and are better set for a pretty early retirement, but have chosen to live a lower lifestyle. As others have said, the opposite of "keeping up with the Joneses."

 

[FireflyTrance]

I wouldn't consider having a well funded 401K as "keeping up with the joneses". That saying to me implies having things that are flashy because other people have them, such as nice house, nice car, clothing, electronics, etc. Others don't know how much is in your 401K. That being said I think planning for retirement is EXTREMELY important. I know so many people that have entered retirement without enough money and now struggle. My MIL didn't plan for retirement and is often in financial crisis. Same with my Aunt, she can barely afford her rent. They retired early and didn't save as much as they should.

 

[barkley]

Don’t know your age, but my dad was like that & then suddenly got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 62 & died w/in 3 weeks of the diagnosis. So, I’m still very much of the mindset of tomorrow is not guaranteed. The money in the bank didn’t do him any good. My sister & I got the $, but we would much rather have had our dad.

My dad got to stay in his home after my mom died instead of going into a nursing home due to his savings. My grandmother lived until 91 and for more than the last 10 years of her life, was able to hire a caretaker. I’d rather live somewhat modestly and not worry about affording things like healthcare when I’m older, or have to depend on my kids. I’m not eating the cat food.

my dad died when i was 19-about 2 years into his retirement. he and mom were savers, we never did any opulent vacations but i remember the simple ones we did fondly. what i remember more so is that my mom was kind of the odd man out among her group of widowed lady friends-all of whom were widowed in their mid 50's from men who had worked pretty comparable earning (then) middle income jobs-mom was the only one who didn't have to scramble to get a job to meet her needs. mom lived a full 31 years after dad's death. she met her needs but could also do some of the trips she and dad never would have considered doing during his 'earning years' (they wanted to travel a little after he retired). mom never had to approach any of her kids for help with home repair costs, medical bill costs.......anything. they/we kids growing up never did without but choices were made based on their priorities-one being having money to get them through the remainder of their lives.

people have to make their own choices. some folks who i know for a fact are shortchanging their retirement savings by choosing to pay all their kid's college education. they don't want their kids 'saddled with debt for 30 years' but i suspect they are just deferring the debt their kids will incur b/c the likelihood is those kids won't want to see mom/dad living hand to mouth in retirement so they will be subsidizing them for the final decades of the parent's lives. those kids then have no means to save for their own retirement and don't have a choice of even so much as helping (if they want) their own kids w/college.

the decisions we make today impact not only ourselves but our kids (if you've got that kind of familial relationship/habit of helping) and subsequently the future generations of the family. i'm all for making great memories while i'm able/around but i tend to think that those will be easily forgotten if i've put my kids between a rock and hard place financially for the majority of their adulthood.

 

[LSUmiss]

my dad died when i was 19-about 2 years into his retirement. he and mom were savers, we never did any opulent vacations but i remember the simple ones we did fondly. what i remember more so is that my mom was kind of the odd man out among her group of widowed lady friends-all of whom were widowed in their mid 50's from men who had worked pretty comparable earning (then) middle income jobs-mom was the only one who didn't have to scramble to get a job to meet her needs. mom lived a full 31 years after dad's death. she met her needs but could also do some of the trips she and dad never would have considered doing during his 'earning years' (they wanted to travel a little after he retired). mom never had to approach any of her kids for help with home repair costs, medical bill costs.......anything. they/we kids growing up never did without but choices were made based on their priorities-one being having money to get them through the remainder of their lives.

people have to make their own choices. some folks who i know for a fact are shortchanging their retirement savings by choosing to pay all their kid's college education. they don't want their kids 'saddled with debt for 30 years' but i suspect they are just deferring the debt their kids will incur b/c the likelihood is those kids won't want to see mom/dad living hand to mouth in retirement so they will be subsidizing them for the final decades of the parent's lives. those kids then have no means to save for their own retirement and don't have a choice of even so much as helping (if they want) their own kids w/college.

the decisions we make today impact not only ourselves but our kids (if you've got that kind of familial relationship/habit of helping) and subsequently the future generations of the family. i'm all for making great memories while i'm able/around but i tend to think that those will be easily forgotten if i've put my kids between a rock and hard place financially for the majority of their adulthood.

In my dad’s case, he didn’t have a spouse & my sister & I are financially independent & were in our late 30s. He was very frugal & denied himself many things “just in case”. When he was dying, he talked about some of the things he never got to do not about how much was in his bank account. That didn’t matter. There is a balance for sure, but we think it’s also important to live life to the fullest.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Pensions were so much better than 401ks.

They were until corporate raiders figured out how to wreck companies all the while leaving pensioners holding the bag.

 

[HeatherC]

Balance is definitely the key. With that being said, increasing savings slowly to get where you want to be is always possible. If you have 401k’s, maybe increase them by 1%. You may be surprised that it may barely affect your take home pay since it is pre-tax. Or do things like buy one less coffee a week, one less meal out a month, spend $10 less each time you grocery shop, etc. The little things really do add up and starting small makes things seem possible and can be motivating to keep doing it.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Nope not keeping up. Too exhausting. Honestly I got to the point that I would drop friends if I felt like I felt pressure to remodel after hanging out with them

 

[LSUmiss]

Funny to see this thread today. My daughter had a couple of friends over Saturday for the first time. Our house is MUCH smaller than these kids' homes. We don't have a pool. We don't live in a fancy subdivision. I admit I was feeling weird at first, but as I thought about it more I realize I don't care anymore.

Keeping up with the Joneses means something different to me. I think everyone around our area is trying too hard, overpaying for huge houses they don't need, driving fancy cars on these terrible roads. Same people who can't seem to get over how many times we go to Disney.

Everyone has different priorities. We have savings. We have 401k savings. We are now down to one income, so we decided not to trade in our car, not to renew our Disney APs, etc.

Sometimes I panic about "retirement" and the "future," but I could get hit by a bus when I leave my house in a little while, so there's that. I still save what I can. Shop deals when I can. Maximize CC rewards, etc. Saving money is NEVER a bad thing.

And Geaux Tigers!!
Speaking of...my friends paid $2500 for tickets tonight. I will be watching at home. That’s more than our Mardi Gras WDW trip or 3 seasons worth of season tickets for me. Uh no way!

 

[SaintsManiac]

And Geaux Tigers!!
Speaking of...my friends paid $2500 for tickets tonight. I will be watching at home. That’s more than our Mardi Gras WDW trip or 3 seasons worth of season tickets for me. Uh no way!

LOL! That's a little more than our TAF fee!!!! Which of course I am gladly going to pay if I get to see a championship flag raised in September.

 

[tcufrog]

This is one of the reasons why I'm not on social media like Facebook or Instagram. How can I be jealous of someone's trip/home/car if I don't know about it. I instead focus on what's important to my family.

 

[Ladyandthepuppies]

I save 15% of my paycheck towards retirement, but I started at 6% and worked my way up adding 2% to my payroll deductions every year until I reached my goal. It wasn’t really a noticeable decline in my net pay. I have the benefit of time on my side because I hit my 15% goal in my mid-20s, but I thought it was a good strategy for anyone who wants to save more, at any age.

Don’t know your age, but my dad was like that & then suddenly got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 62 & died w/in 3 weeks of the diagnosis. So, I’m still very much of the mindset of tomorrow is not guaranteed. The money in the bank didn’t do him any good. My sister & I got the $, but we would much rather have had our dad.

This is exactly what happened to me with my mom. She was planning to retire in January but passed away at Thanksgiving. She was only 55. Unfortunately retirement savings are a gamble, a practical one but definitely not guaranteed. I think overall more people outlive their savings than not, though.

 

[mousefan73]

Had a weird feeling this weekend. My wife and I have been pretty fortunate with our careers. Certainly not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but we're able to live decent lives, go on a couple of vacations per year. That's always been me. Vacation with my wife and kids has always come first. I mean, we pay our bills and have little to no debt in terms of credit card bills, but neither of us has what we should in our 401k and our savings is really just enough for a rainy day or if we were to need some income for a few months. My attitude has always been "Enjoy life while you can. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed." But as I'm starting to get older, I'm getting the itch to have more money in the bank. The thing is, I don't know if I even know why. Just because other people do? I guess it's possible my priorities are changing and I'm having a tough time trying to satisfy those needs with the needs to travel and do all sorts of fun stuff with my kids.

I don't know. Maybe just a rant. Maybe mid-life crisis.

most will disagree with me but life is short and kids grow up and move out.. Enjoy your time now while you are young and healthy.. Granted retirement savings is a reality and people need to think about that. But I personally have no issue going in managable debt or not having a million dollar 401k nest egg if that means traveliing and experiencing things with my kids.. they are 13 and 14 and still enjoy traveling with us. My DH always complains, we have no money.. which is not 100% true but I have no issue with overspending now as who knows what 10 or 15 years will bring us.

but a warning keeps things managable.. our house is paid off and will have a great pension later, so we can afford to go crazy now.