"bedtime" for teens...

[Tink888]

My kids are in their rooms by 11:00 during the school year. They get up at 6:00/6:30.

During the weekends and summer, they go to sleep when they want to.

 

[KAMLEM]

A growing adolescent does. He needs to sleep regardless if he wants to or not. He doesn't even know what is best for himself.

Not true. Every adolescent does not need that much sleep. One of my DD's does absolutely fine on 6-7 hours.

TheZue,
Maybe he should go on sleep meds. In my own experience teen years were sooo hard in terms of sleeping. Sleep meds helped me, maybe they canhelp him too.

Why would you give him sleep medication to force him to sleep when he doesn't want to? That sounds crazy to me. He's no different than most teenagers.

Wow--my kids have it rough ! Our oldest is 11.5 and lights out is between 8 and 8:30. He wakes up around 6:00.

My kids were not even home from practices by that time on a lot of nights when they were that age. That seems really early for an 11-12 year old.

 

[aprilgail2]

Wow--my kids have it rough ! Our oldest is 11.5 and lights out is between 8 and 8:30. He wakes up around 6:00. My younger kids are in bed between 7 and 7:30 and also get up around 6:00. They are all very happy and rarely sick so I'm hoping the sleep they get has something to do with that!

Wow- we are not even home from her basketball games until 930! Softball runs until about 830 twice a week....get home, shower and wind down. How on earth do your kdis get their homework done and do any after school activities and still be in be at 8pm?????

 

[LisaR]

If he has aspirations beyond high school and wants to pursue a career, then he needs to get to bed earlier. If he just wants to 'get a job' after high-school, then he can just maintain the current track. It is up to him, but gosh, you have a lot of input at this point.
Please, continue with encouragement of an earlier bedtime. Nothing, and I mean nothing good, comes from staying up most of the night.

What?? I couldn't even make it past your post. Are you serious? I have a college degree, consider myself quite successful and I did it all on a few hours sleep. To this day, I only get 5 hours sleep and I guarantee you I got less than that all throughout high school and college. I think this is truly the most bizarre thing I have read on The Dis. Now we judge people based on the amount of sleep they get?

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I'll have this issue next year when DS starts High School. The bus will be picking him up at 6:20 in the morning.

So that boy is going to have to get to bed at a decent hour. I was thinking 10:30 but we'll have to see how it goes.

 

[2girlsmom]

My children get in bed around 9 but both do have tv's in their rooms and can watch tv until between 9:30 and 9:45, at which time both of them are to switch to music (my 12 year old listens to classical, while my 9 year old opts for soft pop). They don't really push for a later bedtime, occasionally they will ask, especially the 12 year old, and obviously on the weekends/summer vacations we aren't as picky about it, but during the school year when she is getting up at 6, she is REALLY hard to get up unless she goes to sleep before 10, and is also in a horrid mood all day when tired. So when she asks for a later time (which usually means she wants to turn to music at 10), I let her try it for a few days, but then when she is owly and tired out in the mornings, we discuss and we end up moving it back again.

 

[Shelton123]

If he's taking AP classes, he should get about 5 hours of sleep... if he gets any more, you know he's not doing is work, lol.

 

[Pigeon]

My 12 year old is also in bed by 8:30 and 9 at the latest most nights. She has to get up at 6 am. It is a rush to get homework done with all the activities we do, but it's a health issue as far as I'm concerned.

 

[BelleRocks]

If it were my kid, I'd make him go to his room at 10:30, with no electronic distractions--no TV, no computer, no video games, no cell phone. If he wants to read quietly until he feels sleepy, fine.

Absolutely agree with this. A kid may be able to stay up ONCE in a while with no electronic stimulation, but not night after night.

 

[yellowlabforever]

On school nights I usually go to bed around 8:30-9:00 and I'm 18 years old and a Senior. Now I get up at 5:30, because I have an early morning AP class at 7:00 am, and I can't function without more than 6 hours of sleep. Most of my friends do stay up until 10-11, and some even stay up until midnight if they are doing homework. It's different for every kid, I think 10:30 is a reasonable time. At the latest 11:00 is good too, if he has homework that he needs to get done.

 

[golfgal]

I read a study recently that when kids hit their teen years, their sleeping schedule shifts. They naturally won't get tired til later, and will sleep later. The study was talking about how moving the high school start time back an hour decreases tardies and truency. So his changing sleep schedule is biological. Something to think about!

I have watched this happen with my own kids, DS15 up until about 12-13 years old COULDN'T stay up past 9:00, as a toddler he would tell US he was going to bed and there were times when he would fall asleep on the way to his room (we would find him sleeping in the hallway ). DS17 was always asleep by 8:30 from the time he was about 10 months old until he was about 13. He started staying up later and later. He is a total night owl now. DD15 is about the same as DS17 but she can't stay up as late as him.

My 12 year old is also in bed by 8:30 and 9 at the latest most nights. She has to get up at 6 am. It is a rush to get homework done with all the activities we do, but it's a health issue as far as I'm concerned.

There is a big difference between a 12 year old's sleeping habits and a 15 year old's sleeping habits. Wait a few years and you will see what I am talking about.


OP, as a new stepmom, just a tip, stop reading parenting books unless your stepson reads them with you. Everything in there comes down to AVERAGES. Yes, the AVERAGE number of hours of sleep needed by a teen is 9, however that means some kids only need 7 and some need 11. Drugging your stepson so he sleeps what YOU think is the proper number of hours is just ridiculous. Talk to him about sleep and the importance of getting enough and doing your best and let him take it from there.

 

[mhsjax]

Wow--my kids have it rough ! Our oldest is 11.5 and lights out is between 8 and 8:30. He wakes up around 6:00. My younger kids are in bed between 7 and 7:30 and also get up around 6:00. They are all very happy and rarely sick so I'm hoping the sleep they get has something to do with that!

wow, my DD 11 isn't even home from gymnastics until 8:00 2 nights a week. She is the one who never gets sick. Guess she takes after me. I am a night owl, and I am rarely in bed before 12:00 or 1:00 and I am very rarely sick. Guess we are lucky in that dept.

 

[luvmy3]

If he has aspirations beyond high school and wants to pursue a career, then he needs to get to bed earlier. If he just wants to 'get a job' after high-school, then he can just maintain the current track. It is up to him, but gosh, you have a lot of input at this point.
Please, continue with encouragement of an earlier bedtime. Nothing, and I mean nothing good, comes from staying up most of the night.

This is beyond ridiculous.

OP, I know when my kids are 15 they will be determining their own bedtime (within reason on school nights). My dd 12 already goes to bed at 10:30- 11:00 now but when she's in HS she will have to catch the bus 45 minutes earlier than she does now, and I'm sure she will need more primping time in the morning. My dd is a night owl, she gets it from dh and I. My dses on the other hand ask to go to bed. I'm confident that by the time they are 15 they will know what bedtime works for them.

 

[Octoberbride03]

I read a study recently that when kids hit their teen years, their sleeping schedule shifts. They naturally won't get tired til later, and will sleep later. The study was talking about how moving the high school start time back an hour decreases tardies and truency. So his changing sleep schedule is biological. Something to think about!

I'm here to tell you I totally believe this. For some reason going through puberty just knocked my circadian clock off the map sleep wise. Bus pick-up in HS was 6am-ish. But dang if i could get to sleep b4 12midnight-1am. NO WAY could I do it. It didn't matter what i wanted. It got so bad I actually slept almost around the clock 1 summer other than work and meal times. I just had to wait it out. Then shortly after beginning college I had a bout of insomnia for awhile and didn't sleep for days b4 my clock evened out. My mother would have loved to have me in bed by 11 in HS. Never happened.

OP I suggest you ask your SS what time he actually falls asleep at night. And then go from there. I'm not really for setting a bedtime in HS, my parents never did, though they did have curfews and plenty of other rules for me.

 

[mikron2]

Our grandson has ADHD and could stay up for 2 to 3 days stright. My daughter took him to a doctor and they gave him pills to help rest his brain and it helps most of the time.

 

[Octoberbride03]

If he has aspirations beyond high school and wants to pursue a career, then he needs to get to bed earlier. If he just wants to 'get a job' after high-school, then he can just maintain the current track. It is up to him, but gosh, you have a lot of input at this point.
Please, continue with encouragement of an earlier bedtime. Nothing, and I mean nothing good, comes from staying up most of the night.

I don't even have children and tell you this is 1 of the most ridiulous things I've ever read. Have an example, I have a grade school friend who had a later bedtime than me all though growing up. Recently hooked up with her again on FB. Today she has a successful marketing business and is a former QVC host who still goes on air as a sub or sell the product she's marketing. Her #1 seller is the FURMINATOR.

Go re-examine your statement.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Absolutely agree with this. A kid may be able to stay up ONCE in a while with no electronic stimulation, but not night after night.

As I grew up in the semi-dark ages(the 80s) with parents who only allowed me a radio and walkman in my room growing up, I can tell you for a teen this is not neccesarily true. I'm sure the Wii doesn't help these days. But a teen's circadian clock is going to go how it goes no matter what.

 

[camlace]

Is his Dad working on the enforcing of the bedtime with you or is it all on you. Because in my opinion, I wonder how seriously he might be taking you since you are only 26 and he is 15. I know it shouldn't matter you are still him stepmom and he should respect you, but I wonder if he doesn't see you as an authority figure since you are relatively close in age. I agree with other posters...this should be something Dad is working on and maybe you might see better results.

 

[tower_of_terror_luvr]

I am 15 my bed time is 11 but im allowed to go in my room and read before i go to sleep

 

[johnsontrio]

I read a study recently that when kids hit their teen years, their sleeping schedule shifts. They naturally won't get tired til later, and will sleep later. The study was talking about how moving the high school start time back an hour decreases tardies and truency. So his changing sleep schedule is biological. Something to think about!

This hits the nail on the head. We have had several sleep related issues with our 16 DD this year, in addition to her having an underlying sleep disorder. We have seen 3 different specialists this year in a well respected health care system. All 3 physicians have told us that a disruptive (to us) sleep pattern is normal in teenagers. In the absence of a planned activity after school, DD will come home and sleep during the afternoon and then be up late at night, often 12 or 1am doing the volumes of homework that she has. She gets up at 7am very tired and cranky and it all begins again. Of course during swim season she is up at 5am and that takes a toll on all of us.

This drives us crazy, her DF especially, as he gets up early around 5:15 for work and wants it quiet at night. Of course we wonder why she doesn't go to bed early, get a good night sleep and then be able to continue going to bed early (10pm or so). All 3 Doctors we have seen have told us that her sleep pattern is normal for teenagers and we need to deal with it as best we can. Luckily, her HS starts later at 8:10 unlike our local public high school that starts at 7:18.

More and more research is backing up this sleep pattern in teens is normal. In our school district the elementary schools start at 8:54 am, middle school starts at 8am and then high school at 7:18. Of course this makes sense with the bussing schedule, but not so much sense when you look at the sleep patterns of our kids. Seems like it would be better for the younger kids to start earliest and then the HS kids latest. DD is already talking about how she can't wait to go to college to be able to have classes that start later in the day.