Curious .... what agreement do you have with your college student as far as tuition?

[MichelleB]

Do you pay 100% tuition? Room and board? Do they pay a portion or none at all? If they pay a portion, is it a % of the tuition and what amount do you use?

My DD is going into college in the fall. We would like her to have some responsibility for college but not sure what is fair. She works about 32 hours a week during the summer and has put 1/2 her pay aside for college. Going into college, she's going to major in graphic design and the schools she's looking at say that their programs are intense and that the kids won't have time for much else (not sure if that's accurate but what we're being told by the professors). We can afford up to a certain amount and she's got 3 schools she's deciding between. One of those is under our budget and the other 2 are over (1 by $2000 and 1 by $5000). I know we could stretch to cover these but her brother will be going to college 3 years after her so we do have to consider that as well. We do feel that students do better if they have some sort of share in the costs so it's not just OPM (other people's money) and that it helps them do better and to appreciate the education they are receiving. I want to make it so she has some "skin in the game" but not to the point of stressing her to the point she is only focused on earning money.

How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

We have set up 529 accounts for each of our kids since birth. One is in 8th grade and one is in 5th grade and both will have $60K in their 529's when they go to school. I am a faculty member at our state university, so I get 15 hours free a year as well, so over 4 years, that is 1/2 of a degree tuition free. My 8th grader wants to be an engineer and my 5th grader a doctor, so they will be in intense programs. I want to help them as much as possible, as that is not how I got through school. As they get older, they will be contributing to their 529's as well, getting ready. Both should be able to do an undergrad degree, for little out of pocket costs, if they go to one of our state universities with my job perk. Outside that, we will have to have discussions. Too young for scholarships yet, but both are high achieving students, so that will help too.

 

[MichelleB]

We didn't start their 529 nearly early enough but are in a good position to cash flow up to our budget & supplement with what $ is in their 529. I believe we could pay a very large % of her schooling, if not all, but had a bad experience with an older child who abused that which made us rethink the "skin in the game" concept.

 

[leebee]

We paid what we could and she borrowed the rest in her name. DD knew going in that we couldn't afford much, and although she had some very attractive offers from very nice schools, she realized that after 4 years she'd be about $80K in debt. Yes, she knew we'd try and help with that, but she decided she didn't want to take on this kind of responsibility and ended up choosing our state University, which happens to be in the town in which we live. She lived on campus for 3 years. During senior year, she had an apartment and paid her own rent (heat and electricity included).

DD had some scholarship money (missed the merit money because her guidance counselor didn't get her transcript in by the deadline... so kiss $16,000 good-bye ) from high school graduation and other scholarships she won over the years. DH taught one class per semester per year at her school (in addition to his full-time job) for the 25% tuition waiver, DD took the maximum subsidized loans that she was offered (federal and state programs) and we paid the rest OOP (maybe $8K per year). We could have not paid as much and she could have taken unsubsidized loans, but we didn't want her to do this. She is currently repaying her loans at a cost of about $270 a month, which is manageable for her. We will help her along the way, if and when we can. I realize how lucky we are to have a daughter who did NOT want to be in debt over her head, just so she could go to a big name school or just go to college to have fun.

(For the record, I hate the phrase "skin in the game." IMO, if you have a young adult who can't/won't realize the cost of college and the sacrifices everyone makes to get them through, I don't know what to say. The time to make kids realize what paying for college means begins LONG before they are in college; it begins by teaching them the worth of a dollar, being responsible, and distinguishing between wants and needs, as they are growing up. Waiting for them to realize the importance of getting something for your tuition dollar once they are IN college is too late.)

 

[havaneselover]

My agreement will be that I cover 100% of tuition plus room and board at a four year state school. I have the tuition prepaid and am adding to their 529s for everything else. If they choose to go private or out of state they can take out loans for the difference. I do expect them to help cover spending money. My oldest is in 7th grade and we use a college babysitter some days after school and we've talked about how that's a great way to earn some spending money.

 

[summermom2]

We pay the whole thing. M son had to grow up in this crapy small town with no jobs so I am not going to make them suffer and not pay for their college. I do not want my kids to end up losers like me and I will do anything to pay for their college. They should not have to suffer because of our poor choices.

 

[karen4546]

We have 4 children. Our youngest is a senior getting her bachelors in business/accounting. My oldest son is a welder by profession so no 4 yr school. My oldes daughter is a teacher at a middle school. My middle daughter graduated in criminal justice/psychology and is currently in police academy.

We paid for their tuition, books, parking and any education expense. If they lived on campus then they paid for that. My youngest lives at home so no boarding expense for her.

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

We are going to have our kids take out the $5500 federal loan each year so they have "skin in the game" but otherwise we will pay for everything else. DS is going to a state school and got a merit scholarship. DD chose a private school and got a large scholarship. DH parents sacrificed to make sure he had a bachelors degree and my parents didn't give a crap about me. So, We'll do whatever it takes to help our kids finish college with as little debt as possible.

 

[MichelleB]

We are going to have our kids take out the $5500 federal loan each year so they have "skin in the game" but otherwise we will pay for everything else. DS is going to a state school and got a merit scholarship. DD chose a private school and got a large scholarship. DH parents sacrificed to make sure he had a bachelors degree and my parents didn't give a crap about me. So, We'll do whatever it takes to help our kids finish college with as little debt as possible.

That sounds like a good idea. I'd prefer them to not have the $5500 federal loan but maybe they could only take what they didn't earn from their jobs and pay the difference. My DH's parents paid 100% of his college and he got to keep the balance of $40,000 that was saved in his account. My parents said they could only help one of us 3 kids and I wasn't it so I didn't go....could've but wasn't able to see how at the time. I also want to do as much as possible for the kids and allow them not to have debt. My DH came up with a 20% calculation of the cost each year that the kids could pay. He's thinking we'll pay 80% with a cap of $20,000 on it for the first 2 years and $22,000 for the 3rd and 4th year. A higher price school means we'd bear more of the brunt but the kids would as well. They'd then be expected to work during the summer to cover that and any spending money they need/want. The schools DD is looking at are $18-25,000 per year. DH's calculation would be lower than the federal loan so we're not too far off what you are thinking.

 

[MichelleB]

For the record, I hate the phrase "skin in the game."

I used that quote because that's how I've heard people reference it. My DD has a clue as to money and as I said, opted to work during the summers and has saved money toward college. They have been blessed to have quite a bit but we've made sure they know that in life, you have to earn your way. For some reason, the oldest didn't get that and I have no idea how. We thought she did prior to taking her to college where it all went down the tubes. That made us rethink that we needed to continue the philosophy into college instead of taking on all the financial responsibility of it. We put a strong emphasis on education and want her to do well but there does need to be a balance of work, school, and play. As I said, we're cash flowing it and that does come with cutbacks at home which we gladly make but want her to realize then that focus on her studies is expected as well as some contribution on her part during the summer rather than summer being play time. I believe she gets all that but still think we need to instill the value of her contribution to her education and life's choice.

 

[georgina]

My kids all did very well in college without the need for the awful phrase 'skin in the game'. Personally I don't believe it is necessary if college is affordable without loans. If it is not, by all means have them take out loans, but be careful of the total amount. Ours all worked in the summer or took classes to graduate early and provided all their spending money and some books. It probably depends on the specific student how they think about college and money.

I struggled to pay my own way through college and decided before I had kids I would not do that to them. They realize what a gift graduating with no debt is. My oldest 2 have great jobs and youngest, a junior, just landed a high paying internship with a major internet company for the summer.

 

[bluezy]

We have 5 kids so we've always told them that we will help with college costs, but we're not covering all of it. We believe that they should have some of the financial responsibility. Our two oldest have both graduated from college already. Our deal with them was that if they contributed $1,000 or more cash per year, we would give them $5,000 towards their costs each year. After that, they had to take out loans. Our oldest went to a school about 2 hours away from home for the first 2 years and then transferred to a University about 30 minutes away from home and commuted for the last 2 years. The second oldest commuted to the University all 4 years. They both graduated with less than $30,000 in student loans which we felt was a reasonable amount. The goal was to keep their debt to less than what they expected to earn in their first year's salary of their chosen professions. They both stayed well under that amount and even though they have been out of school for 5 or 6 years, they will both have their loans paid off in 2 more years.

Our third child will start college next fall and we've made the same offer to him (he contributes $1,000 and we'll contribute $5,000). He's still weighing his options but he was accepted into the very competitive college of engineering at his #1 choice of schools so he will probably go there. That University happens to have a branch campus about 20 minutes away from our home and he's planning to commute there for the first 2 years to save money.

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

We have also started pushing our kids into the STEM sectors, even at young ages. I have a hard time paying for a 4 year college degree in a field that makes it very hard to get a return on that investment. Yes, there is a need for most degrees, but it is amazing to me how many kids go to college for: History, Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy, etc etc etc. Yes, all are valid degrees, until it comes to employment. I want my kids to know that the costs towards college will be covered in a line of work/career that is going to help them prosper and hopefully lead to an easier life. There is no guarantees, and I know there are a hundred stories of those in liberal arts fields with success in life, but it is not as easy as if you are in the STEM sector. Again, my opinion, but a very valid one.

 

[TwoMisfits]

We will pay 4 years of tuition only for an instate school (we have one down the road and that's what we're basing our contribution on). We won't qualify for need aid, so anything our kids want above that (out of state tuition, room and board, books, etc) is on them to figure out how to afford (summer jobs, work study, merit aid, loans, ROTC and other scholarships, etc). The tuition itself will hurt (even with 529s, we won't have more than 2-3 semesters of tuition saved per kid), but I'm making the same deal with my kids that my parents made with theirs (and it worked for 6 kids)...

 

[DarkAngel]

On the other end of the spectrum, I was in college for 2 years in 06-08, My dad had saved up to cover all 3 of us to go and then some, he had said that we wouldn't have to worry and to focus on our studies, then my dad passed away right in the middle of school (19) and I dropped out with deep depression. He told us that if we took care of the money he had we wouldn't have to sell our house and not to worry if we ever wanted to go back to school. Now at 28 Im back in school to get my degree and finish a program. I asked my mom for help because it's a degree program and I don't want to get into anymore debt but thats too late now. Even after saving up as much as i could I pulled my back working and was off for 2 years. She has moved away with her new husband, and i asked for help and got turned down, it was just until my school loan came in and would pay her right back. Thank goodness for my amazing Fiancee who has supported me and my dreams. I get anxiety just typing this out, sorry if this comes out selfish, but even a tiny bit of help would have been a blessing.

 

[scrapquitler]

Do you pay 100% tuition? Room and board? Do they pay a portion or none at all? If they pay a portion, is it a % of the tuition and what amount do you use?

My DD is going into college in the fall. We would like her to have some responsibility for college but not sure what is fair. She works about 32 hours a week during the summer and has put 1/2 her pay aside for college. Going into college, she's going to major in graphic design and the schools she's looking at say that their programs are intense and that the kids won't have time for much else (not sure if that's accurate but what we're being told by the professors). We can afford up to a certain amount and she's got 3 schools she's deciding between. One of those is under our budget and the other 2 are over (1 by $2000 and 1 by $5000). I know we could stretch to cover these but her brother will be going to college 3 years after her so we do have to consider that as well. We do feel that students do better if they have some sort of share in the costs so it's not just OPM (other people's money) and that it helps them do better and to appreciate the education they are receiving. I want to make it so she has some "skin in the game" but not to the point of stressing her to the point she is only focused on earning money.

How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

Our DD is in an honors program at a state school, and has a 4 years full tuition & fees scholarship because of that. We pay her room and board and books, plus we pay her health insurance, phone and some expenses. She has a job on campus that is directly related to her major (she's a theater major and her job is working in the theater on campus) but her job is limited to 12 hours per week in accordance with the guidelines of her scholarship. And she uses her earnings for any activities and expenses beyond what we pay.

She was accepted at other schools (including a $62k a year school that offered her a $30k scholarship) but we decided that they weren't affordable for us since we were adamant that she should graduate with no debt if at all possible, which will happen on her present trajectory.

 

[kool_kat]

My parents paid for my school along with room/board and a reasonable allowance. I wouldn't say that if kids have no "skin in the game" they won't care and appreciate their education. I really think that is based on the individual child as I graduated summa cum laude.

The reason my parents paid for everything was they were high school sweethearts that got married right out of high school. My dad worked nights so he could go to school during the day and was in ROTC to pay for college. He knew how hard it was and didn't want us to have that struggle but be able to enjoy college and focus on school. Both my brother and I were in college band programs which we couldn't have done if we were required to have jobs.

I will also say that not graduating with any school loans was probably one of the best gifts my parents could have given me and my siblings. Both my brother and I married people with student loans and we now see how burdensome they can be and getting them paid off. I think that has set me up more than anything else.

I will say that I did earn a 1/2 tuition scholarship which made my private school tuition equal my brother's state school tuition.

 

[kathy884]

My parents paid 100% for my college including tuition (free as my mom was a math professor with 200+ tuition remission schools I could pick from), room, board, and a spending money allowance. I was able to bank summer job paychecks and the 10 hour a week job I had as a calculus grader during school. I could focus on academics at school, enjoy clubs, special academic lectures, get some exercise, and have a fun social life with this arrangement. I've always been a practical budgeter, but this arrangement certainly meant I didn't have to worry about finances. And the money I saved was a nest egg for when I graduated, moved away, and got what I call my first real job in my field of study. Despite having no skin in the game, I really appreciated all my parents did for me, appreciated my college experience, applied myself, graduated with honors, etc. I am, though, an academic person - someone who has always liked school, likes researching topics, doesn't mind even enjoys studying, so we aren't talking any big stretch here.

I now have a college aged son. He's actually attending our community college which is pretty inexpensive. I pay for his expenses 100% and footed an overseas study program to Italy too that I thought would be a wonderful experience for him. I have about $120,000 saved up for his education (have about 1/2 of this in a 529 plan and the other 1/2 outside of that). And while I'm working (if I continue to have the income I currently have), I'll continue to put $500 a month in his education / get started fund. I'll contribute up to the total that I've saved specifically for his education for educational expenses/living expenses while he's going to school. If we don't spend all of that, I'll use it as a nest egg fund to help him as he's getting started in his life (maybe some help for a down payment for a house / things like that). // I would not, though, go into debt or use other funds for his education at this point. For dollars more than what I've saved up, he'd need to come up with the funds.

I think for every person it has to be a case by case basis. What can you afford that won't hurt other savings goals like retirement? What kind of return on investment does the program your child is looking at look like it has? Is the possibility of financial aid there? For us FASA formulas have us paying for everything. What is your child capable of contributing? Some young people are real go getters and financially independent at early ages. Others need more help.

 

[sk!mom]

I want to make it so she has some "skin in the game" but not to the point of stressing her to the point she is only focused on earning money.

How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

We do not subscribe to the "skin in the game" theory. Especially if "skin in the game" means that an 18-19 year old is taking out loans. I just don't think that many young people truly understand the impact of those loans on their future. Now working to cover some of the cost, I'm all for that.

DD19 is in her second year of college. She worked super hard in high school and scholarships cover 75% of her tuition. To me, that demonstrates that she has "skin in the game." She has to maintain her gpa to keep those scholarships. We cover the remaining 25% of her tuition and the room and board costs as well as many incidentals- books, supplies, car repairs, as well as all the living expenses we always paid. Freshman year she was in the dorm but this year is in an apartment so we cover groceries.

She has a really awesome job that combines a lifelong passion with gaining experience in her field. She works 12-14 hours a week and that covers her gas and spending money.

We also pay about 60% of her sorority cost and she covers the rest from her Summer job.

 

[MommaBerd]

The issue of parental contributions towards college expenses is a very sore subject for me. My parents took "skin in the game" to the extreme. So, like PPs, I (along with DH) hope to take a more balanced approach with our boys.

DS starts college in the fall, too. We said we'd pay up to $10k and his dad will pay about that much too per year. (Which sounds like a lot, but even our in-state universities have higher costs of attendance than that.) The rest would be up to him. Fortunately he's gotten major scholarship dollars. He's worked hard to "earn" that money, too.

Our general philosophy is that our boys will contribute in some way - scholarships and/or working - and we are willing to contribute up to a certain dollar amount. If they start failing, then they start picking up the tab.

A couple of practices I heard along the way stuck with me. My aunt and uncle had a policy where if my cousins failed a class, they were responsible for paying to take it again. That seemed fair to me. And then one of my good friends in school said this. "My father told me that I should view college as my job - work hard, study, make the most of the opportunities. In return, my "pay" is the cost of college. He didn't want me to HAVE to work so that I could focus on my studies." More than once did I wish my parents had had that same philosophy!

Granted, not every family has the ability to pay for college. But I will say this, there are LOTS of opportunities out there to get free tuition for lower income families. Since I'm a homeschool momma, I was my son's "guidance counselor." I looked at lots and lots of colleges and their financial aid options, and there really is a great deal of money out there. Some state universities have "sliding scale" tuition based solely on GPA and SAT/ACT scores; if you have high enough scores & grades, you can go tuition free! You or your child might just have to do the research and not rely solely on the school guidance counselor.

(WOW! Sorry for the ramblings. I didn't set out to write so much! You can tell I've been knee-deep in this for the past year +)