it's been a busy month for me....I keep forgetting that retail sucks this time of year! While I don't work in the stores, it seems like everyone wants to start planning next year now and there just aren't enough hours in a day.
I've missed being on line, however I've done a lot and have a lot of good things to update.
First - I've been following my food plan for 24 days. That is 3 meals a day, 0 snacking in between and taking it 1 day at a time. It isn't always easy, but I am learning that there are powers greater than myself that I can turn things over to. I haven't had any sugary snacks, treats, desserts, etc., or junk food and I feel really good! It is amazing just how much different you feel when you start cleaning all the junk out of your body. Not only do I feel physically better, I'm starting to feel the spiritual and emotional healing as well. I feel like I am an onion and I keep peeling the layers back to see what I find and then work through what I find underneath the layer. It is a lot of work and while it has been going well, the past few days I've started struggling and fighting the demons of my addiction to food again and it seems to be more of a battle each and every day to keep to my food plan and work on my recovery. I'm learning what some of my triggers are to food binges and am learning how to get past those triggers without binging. I'm just beginning a very long journey and for the first time in my life, I think I'm getting it all together at the same time.
Second - Tim is killing me, he seems to have taken our workouts to a new level and is getting joy in seeing me suffer. he's put me through some killer workouts lately and I know it is all good for me, but they still are terribly hard. For some reason i reached a limit today and mentally shut down and couldn't do anything - he had me in tears and we finally called it a day and will make up the time on Saturday. i think I'm am going to go through some emotion exhaustions as I work through the eating issues. it was so nice to have someone from my food group call me tonight and see how I was doing, that made me feel so much better and made me realize that I can keep to my food plan and not call for pizza or something different.
Third - I'm updating my signature and adding a new ticker! I'm going back in January with friends. I can't wait and I just changed my resort from Pop Century to Coronado tonight due to a discount that was released. I'm so glad because I wasn't looking forward to Pop Century at all. the resort is great for lots of people, but I like the fitness center at Coronado and the more relaxed feel of the resort. WooHoo!!! another Disney trip!!!
Finally - I'm very thankful for these boards, they keep me sane. I haven't been around as much, but I think of you all the time and need to make time to keep up on my journey as well as read about others. Can I start my new years resolution a month early?
Things I'm proud of today:
1. I made a phone call instead of stopping at the Dairy Queen when I felt the cravings and urges for food.
2. I saw a nutritionist today to support my recovery.
3. Even thought I was brought to tears, I stuck with my workout for 40 minutes, even though I wanted to stop after 5.
Things I could improve on:
1. Letting things go quicker than I do. I can't change an event that has already happened, so I need to let it go.
2. Keeping up on my journal. It feels great to get things out of my system.