Do you and spouse/significant share a room?

[Jennasis]

Neither DH nor I can sleep without the other.

 

[osopecoso]

The only time we sleep apart, at home, is when he is sick. I am immune compromised, so he doesn't want to share his germs. He sleeps in the spare room when he is sick.

Same here when one of us is sick. I travel a lot and need to stay healthy. When wife is sick, I will sleep in in-law suite above garage which has everything I need.

 

[Tattylou]

My parents have been married 40-something years. They don't always sleep in the same room. He says she snores. She says he gets up to go the bathroom too many times. They had a king bed in their room too, but say they tend to sleep better apart.

 

[Meriweather]

We share a bedroom.....have for 43 years-2 years when his snoring was so bad. Got the C-Pap machine and now all is good.

But....we do also have our own rooms/offices. His is downstairs where he has his computer, work station for soldering, etc and all his toys.
Mine is upstairs with my computer and crafting things.

 

[wenrob]

I chose "other." We share a room but more than 50% of the time I end up on the couch. He snores badly. Flails his arms and legs. (He's given me a fat lip, knocked me out of the bed among other things.) I toughed it out for a couple of decades but the older I get the worse I sleep. We both wake up exhausted though he never actually wakes up. I wore my Fitbit one night and I woke up 16 times! I have fantasies about turning older DD's room into mine when she moves out. I love my husband beyond words but I need to be able to sleep.

 

[wenrob]

Oh and no animals in anyone's bed.

 

[anniemae]

we share, unless one of us is sick or has trouble sleeping.

I read an article about this once and it was very interesting. The wife was a night owl who liked to stay up half the night eating ice cream and watching old movies, and the hubby was an "early to bed, early to rise" kind of guy. She was a slob and he was a neat person. It worked for them. Their marriage was fine, they were in love, they just didn't feel the need to share a bed and they both got to keep their room how they wanted it.

 

[gillep]

The only time we sleep apart, at home, is when he is sick. I am immune compromised, so he doesn't want to share his germs. He sleeps in the spare room when he is sick.

Oh yes, I totally forgot about this in my reply. I cannot sleep with my husband when he is sick, he usually gets a bad cough, and can't sleep when he has a cough, so not only is he coughing but he is also up and tossing and turning, I need sleep each night so I can't handle this, he also likes to be upright when sick, so will often try to sleep sitting up on the couch.

 

[amberpi]

I just want to say it's really heartwarming to hear about all these long, long marriages. My folks have one too. Sleeping together, apart, whatever, ya'll are blessed

 

[wilkeliza]

We sleep in the same best most nights. Might sleep sepersre if ee sre really sick ir if his snoring is particularly bad. Most nights I wear ear plugs and have an eye mask so his noises don't wake me up too often any more. Have tried to get him to do a sleep study but he refuses to believe it is that bad.

Oddly on vacation we do seperate beds. Especially at WDW we prefer to sleep apart so we can both spread out. I mean it is vacation after all and there are usually 2 beds so why not use them! If there is only one bed we'll share but it is nice to get to stretch out from time to time.

 

[texaslover]

I'm on the other side. My DH doesn't enjoy cuddling and I could sleep next to him every night. I have to make myself stay on my own side because he will comment on the fact that I annoyed him by being too close at night. He will also say he's not tired and then fall asleep on the couch with the TV going rather than come to bed when I go.

I was in my first marriage for 18 years and didn't have a lot of intimacy and honestly didn't want to be close to my ex most of the time bc of his attitude/behavior. I was lonely. I wanted something totally different and thought I found it bc DH was very present and loving until we got married.

It honestly hurts my feelings when he doesn't want to be in bed with me. I know not everyone thinks that way and if both partners don't care and work it out separate rooms are fine but I would just make sure it isn't hurtful to your spouse. Especially since men tend not to be super open with their feelings.

 

[Colleen27]

Most of the time I prefer sharing a bed with DH. But sometimes he does snore, which is rough when I'm having trouble sleeping (he probably snores far more than I know, but usually I'm out like a light as soon as my head hits the pillow). And sometimes I disturb him if I come to bed later than he does, especially during the summer when I'm up late and he's still heading off to work by 5am. So there are times when I'll bunk in with my girls, in the spare bed in their room (they've got a twin and a set of bunks for the two of them), but it doesn't happen often enough that I'd want my own room.

Now, his and hers TV rooms... that's something I could get behind!

 

[runwad]

mmm, interesting. I wish I had another room to go sleep in when DH is snoring. He refuses to believe he snores, even when I record him and he hears it. It's annoying! I'm grouchy when I don't get a restful nights sleep. With 3 kids and 4 rooms and a bad back that can't take couches or chairs, I'm stuck with him until someone goes. And then I don't think I'd move out but I would go sleep somewhere else on the nights he snores.

** DH's snoring is completely random, we can't figure out what triggers it? Thought it could be allergies? Who knows can't come up with a pattern, he could snore tonight and then not again for 2 weeks, weird.

 

[Colleen27]

** DH's snoring is completely random, we can't figure out what triggers it? Thought it could be allergies? Who knows can't come up with a pattern, he could snore tonight and then not again for 2 weeks, weird.

Mine is the same way, and that's our best guess too - he doesn't have any known allergies but something obviously makes him just stuffy enough to give him that little bit of extra trouble breathing when he's asleep. The other thing that does it is beer - if he's had more than one or two, he snores when he goes to bed.

 

[bellebud]

I moved out of our shared bedroom about 3 years ago. We've been married 25 years, and for all those years he had to have the tv on to fall asleep and then half the night. I always hated the tv on, but as a young bride, I tried it. But I couldn't sleep well, so we tried him wearing headphones and me wearing an eye mask and using timers. But it never worked well So after 22 years of me not sleeping well, I finally said "either you turn the tv off, or I'm going down the hall permanently". He was like "but I neeeeeed the tv", so I moved, lol. He likes the room warm, I like it chilly, and I like the animals sleeping with me too. So it works out fine in the end. We just bought our future retirement home that we're using as a vacation home for now, and there's only 1 bedroom for us, and I insisted no bedroom tv when we stay there and move there. Or he can go sleep on the couch if he wants.

 

[mnrose]

My husband works weird hours. He goes to bed sometime between 4 and 6 pm, and gets up somewhere between 11:30PM and 2:30 AM. We tried to continue sharing a room when he first started working those hours, but I would wake him up when I went to bed, and he'd wake me up when he got up. It was insane and working for neither of us. I moved to the guest room (very comfortable mattress) and it works beautifully for both of us. If we have guests, I'll share his room, no problem. But, on a regular basis it was making both of us grouchy. So we made a change. OP, I say do whatever works for YOUR family. This is not a one size fits all deal.

 

[NFLDERS]

Neither DH nor I can sleep without the other.[/QUOTE



Us too!

 

[kimblebee]

I'll be the lone dissenter here. We have separate rooms.

I have a host of medical issues as does my husband so for us to get a good nights sleep, we sleep separate. I sleep way better since we started. It's ridiculous to think that because we sleep apart we aren't happy in our marriage. We are happier because we sleep apart. I wouldn't put up with snoring or anything night after night after night.

 

[sonnyjane]

We share the bed EXCEPT for when he's sick. When he's sick, he snores, so I'll usually go down the hall to the guestroom.

My grandparents are very religious. They have been married for 65 years. They had my mom a few years into their marriage but my grandma had to have an emergency hysterectomy right after. My grandpa believed that since she wasn't able to conceive, they should no longer "enjoy" each other - so they moved into separate bedrooms. They've slept that way for 60+ years!

 

[NFLDERS]

When my husband and I built this house, we used a plan that had a large "exercise room" next to the master bedroom, and turned that into a split master bedroom. I slept very lightly and not very much (bad insomnia), he went to bed much earlier than I did and got up hours before I did. It worked for us, we certainly didn't love each other any less. I lost him seven years ago, so I moved into the larger bedroom after a while.

Sorry for your loss.