Do you and spouse/significant share a room?

[Frankie Nova]

25% according to the National Sleep Foundation. Even that is much much much higher than I would have predicted.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...ried-couples-sleeping-separate-beds/99818086/

you how polls can be . the one I read was about 3 years back and now that I remember it said 60% of married couple sleep together .. 40% do not .
sorry for the false info but according to your polls that wasn't even correct... i still think its higher than 1 of 4 ... one of those four are probably lying! LOL and one of those four are really pleading the 5th

 

[Jennasis]

We have 2 dogs. Both are welcome to sleep in the bed with us (we have a King size), but typically one sleeps on her bed on the floor and only the greyhound sleeps in the bed, nestled between us near the foot of the bed.

 

[tvguy]

you how polls can be . the one I read was about 3 years back and now that I remember it said 60% of married couple sleep together .. 40% do not .
sorry for the false info but according to your polls that wasn't even correct... i still think its higher than 1 of 4 ... one of those four are probably lying! LOL and one of those four are really pleading the 5th

Well, it is kind of personal information. I am not aware of anyone I know having separate bedrooms, but how would I know for sure? I do know some people who say they have separate beds in the same bedroom however.

 

[Klayfish]

Pets are not as important as a spouses.....but they are a close second.

Yeah, I totally respect that some people feel that way. We've had several cats over the years and now this dog. For us, they are a very, very, very distant second (well, third of course behind kids). Not that we didn't like them, but they're pets. Our bed is for DW and I, period. We don't even let our kids in our room, never have. Even when they were newborns, we didn't put the crib in our room. Just like having our own space.

 

[MamaLema]

I think it's strange that after being married for so long, you don't want to share the bed with your DH anymore. We don't have pets but both me and DH would both be offended if one of us chose a pet to sleep with instead.

 

[smiths02]

you how polls can be . the one I read was about 3 years back and now that I remember it said 60% of married couple sleep together .. 40% do not .
sorry for the false info but according to your polls that wasn't even correct... i still think its higher than 1 of 4 ... one of those four are probably lying! LOL and one of those four are really pleading the 5th

The surveys could have been worded differently...
Did you and your spouse sleep in different rooms last night?
Do you and your spouse regularly sleep apart?
Do you have your own bedroom apart from your spouse?

Since we've had kids, there are lots of times when DH and I sleep apart because of the kids (they are always begging for someone to sleep next to them), because of a work schedules, because DH is sick (he will sleep in an EZ chair when he is sick), etc. But, in general, we have a bed and a room that we share.

 

[DaisyJ]

3 years ago my wife and I were struggling for sleep she would wake me snoring and I would in turn wake her to stop. How is that quality sleep? It isn't !
I now have my own room (kids have flown the coup) and my wife and I now sleep well. Think about it Quality sleep means quality time together in the waking hours. Lack of sleep can cause one to be irritable.
Despite what some would say our marriage is fantastic !!!!
And you could have a drunken panda sleeping next to you and you would never know it because YOUR SLEEPING! LOL
Over 60% of married couples sleep apart that should tell you something!...
p.s. If my wife and I want to snuggle we just text one another

Yeah, I'm not buying that "over 60%" of married couples sleep apart on a regular, permanent basis.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I wouldn't mind 2 nights a week to myself. lol I don't think I would like two completely separate bedrooms. Maybe a spare bedroom where I can go if I want some me time but not an every night thing.

 

[RangerPooh]

We share a bed but we have our own blankets. I'm a blanket hog and don;t like to share so this works for us. No dogs in our bed, but the occasional kitty.

 

[Magpie]

We were just talking about this!

See, my husband's been having trouble sleeping lately, and he snores (yes, he's under the care of a physician). This morning, he had to get up early to catch a plane. So, last night, he offered to sleep upstairs, so I could enjoy an uninterrupted night of sleep.

I said, "You know I don't sleep well when you're not in bed with me."

"But, my snoring wakes you up!" he said.

"Yes, but it's even harder to sleep when you're not there." Which is totally true. I don't like sleeping alone (and the dog is not an adequate substitute).

Hilariously, last night, one of the cats decided to howl at the top of his lungs outside our bedroom door (he usually sleeps up between our pillows - no idea why he was singing to us, instead). I woke up. My husband didn't. And I noticed he wasn't snoring! He wasn't even doing his usual noisy kind of breathing. At which point, I got very paranoid and had to put my hand on his back to check if he was still alive. Which woke him up. I blamed the cat (who was fortunately still howling).

I think we do disturb each other's sleep, but I like having him there anyway and I think he feels the same. We've been sleeping together for over 25 years. It's the way we like it.

 

[MrsDuck]

I like sharing! And, I'm typically not a good sharer.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DH and I share, but I could honestly go either way. It's just more important to him than it is to me.

Before he got his CPAP, though, I would often end up in the guest room in the middle of the night. The snoring itself didn't usually wake me up (I'm kind of a rock once I get to sleep) but if I woke up to use the bathroom, or with DS when he was little, I couldn't get back to sleep hearing it.

My general thoughts on the matter are that you need to do whatever you need to do to get enough quality sleep! I really believe that so many problems are caused or made worse by people being tired all the time.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Yeah, I'm not buying that "over 60%" of married couples sleep apart on a regular, permanent basis.

Me either.

I know that there are couples that sleep in separate rooms. But more than half? Of currently married couples? No way.

 

[Hikergirl]

We share a room but I do fantasize about taking over dd's when she is away at school. I am a light sleeper and my dh is a heavy breather and he snores. I can't remember the last time I had a good night sleep next to him. Probably the last time I had too many rum and cokes.
I move around alot too, so there are nights where I keep him awake and I feel bad about it. I end up on the couch or in the family room almost every night anyway so my own bed would be nice.
I'm not sure why its a big deal if spouses don't sleep in the same bed together every night, we are sleeping there is nothing that is going on anyway.

 

[kuhltiffany]

My vote was other. Both DH and I have times where we're not sleeping well for various reasons. So we have other spaces we can sleep (either whole or part of the night). Makes more sense to have well rested partners, rather than being grumpy just to share mattress space!

 

[lorimay]

We are in the same bed for 30 years, no issues. Just want a king bed at all times, I need my space when I sleep, you go to your side and I go to mine. I don't want any body heat near me, the thought of 98.6 degrees touching me is a no go these days......... I get enough hot flashes all on my own enough.

We joke about The I Love Lucy and Masters of Sex twin beds in the master bedrooms all the time and say some day........

 

[Elleshoodat]

I voted that I'm happy sharing.

I prefer to sleep next to my husband, but if one of us isn't sleeping well for whatever reason, that person will move to the guest room in the middle of the night so the other can hopefully get a good night's rest.

 

[MIGrandma]

DH and I have slept in separate bedrooms for several years now, at least 10 I think, or possibly more, I honestly don't remember the exact year I moved upstairs. But we've been happily married for almost 42 years, and we both sleep better in separate rooms so for us it works fine.

He used to snore, constantly and LOUD. I'm a very light sleeper so was always moving out to the couch. He did have a sleep study done and does use a CPAP. We thought that would be the end of separate bedrooms but we tried sleeping together again and it just didn't work. We were both used to having the bed (queen size, the room isn't big enough for a king) to ourselves and we tried not to move during the night for fear of waking the other one up. Plus DH has restless leg syndrome and most nights it really bothers him. I've tried sleeping with him in a king size bed in hotels and he shakes the bed so much with his restless legs so that wakes me up too, so if we have a suite out to the couch I go. He has also hit me in the night by flopping his arm over on me. It's just so much nicer sleeping apart.

We each can go to bed whenever we want and not be afraid of the other one waking us up when they go to bed, DH can have his TV on as long as he likes, I can have my sound machine, etc. etc. I think a lot more married couples sleep in separate rooms than people realize. And some people may be too ashamed to even admit they sleep in separate rooms. We don't see anything wrong with it, and it's our marriage so we're the only ones whose opinions matter.

 

[ronandannette]

We share a bed but we have our own blankets. I'm a blanket hog and don;t like to share so this works for us. No dogs in our bed, but the occasional kitty.

We had that problem too, especially since we both try to stay as far apart as possible when we sleep - each scrunched up on the edge of our own side and tugging to keep the blankets on us.

Years ago I read a tip in some homemaking magazine or other to buy bedding one size up; I got a king-sized top sheet and comforter for our queen-sized bed and it's solved the problem nicely. It is a pain now though, when we travel, to have to "wrassle" to stay covered all night.

 

[rodeo65]

Separate since the kids were infants and he had a sales job that had him on the road all day every day. He needed a full sleep to stay awake at the wheel and I was up most of the night with two under two. Once he changed jobs a few years later we'd both grown accustomed to sleeping alone and developed very different sleep styles. We've been together for 23 years, married for 18 and have slept separately for 15.

Every so often we'll decide to try to share the bed again but it usually lasts until about 3am when we are both wide awake, give up and he goes back to his room. Now, he works from home and I'm involved in his business also so we actually prefer the solitude at night, since we're together all day every day.

It did initially take some acceptance on my part. As a young wife and mother and after seeing my own parents push twin beds together if they ever encountered them, I thought it meant something was wrong with us to sleep separately. Once I got over the preconceived ideas, I found I was happier.