Homeschooled child concern

[MrsDuck]

The parent is the teacher...so yes that is who assigns the grades. Most parents that commit themselves to homeschooling their kids take it very seriously. I don't know any parent that wants to support their kid after the age of 22. The goal is to get them into college and successfully launched.

This is certainly not the experience or goal of all homeschooling families. For many, yes. But not all.

Just how not all public schools tell your child what to think. We are allowed to disagree.

 

[cruiser21]

This is certainly not the experience or goal of all homeschooling families. For many, yes. But not all.

Just how not all public schools tell your child what to think. We are allowed to disagree.

What is the goal then? If you disagree. Then you should at least state why.

 

[Disneychick75]

Someone very close to me has been home-schooling her 12 year old daughter this year after an issue with bullies last year. It seems like she lets her wake up whenever she wants (sometimes as late as 11:00am!) on school days because, well, she doesn't have to get up for school. She's homeschooled! And she also lets her go on Facebook in the middle of the night. I just don't get it. She has the Facebook parental controls set right, but I always felt like Facebook should not be allowed for someone that age, and if it is allowed, to only be allowed in moderation and very limited use.

When I try and offer my opinion, the response is "she's getting straight A's, and is reading at a ninth grade level, yada yada".

Would this be concerning to anyone else?

I homeschooled our daughter for a few years. She stayed up late and slept in- no big deal. Her schooling only took a few hours each day. Usually, she did her schoolwork about 1pm. When she went back to brick and mortar school, she was ahead of her classmates.

If you don't agree with what this person is doing, that's your perogative but the child is hers. It's their lives. Keep your opinion to yourself if you want to maintain the relationship.

 

[okeydokey]

I think the best thing about homeschooling is you can teach your kids how to think...unlike the public schools which teach them what to think.

Nice generalization. LOL.

I can guarantee you that both my public school kids were taught how to think. And they certainly have opinions of their own.

 

[Magpie]

What is the goal then? If you disagree. Then you should at least state why.

I'd hazard a guess that the previous poster is referring to those homeschoolers who withdraw their kids from school in order to protect them from ideas that conflict with their own. Typically, they're fundamentally religious in one way or another, and see it as a matter of either protecting their children's innocence or else inoculating them against the belief systems of the broader, secular world. In many cases their goal is to have their children go off to Bob Jones University (or at least, it was back when I was a homeschooler). They explicitly don't want their kids to have opinions of their own, because any opinion that's different is wrong (and dangerous).

Honestly, whether you believe schools broaden a child's mind or narrow it, really depends on where you stand.

Me, I think public schools are incredibly valuable and important and a benefit to society. I support them fully. That said, I also recognize that not every family or child will fit the mold, which is why I am glad we have educational choice. When I was homeschooling my own children, we did not have to answer to anyone. There was no assessment, no grading, nothing. We were on our own, and quite happy that way. Yes, my kids slept in. Yes, my kids went on Facebook (with my enthusiastic encouragement - it's writing practice!). My kids built their own websites and talked to people from other countries. We spent one whole winter watching every James Bond movie ever, and learning about technology, the Cold War, special effects in movies, etc. We fed the ducks at the local pond. They had swimming lessons. They met people of all ages and backgrounds and I definitely felt they had a broader, richer experience than they would have if they'd been sitting in a classroom every day with the same 24 kids.

So, from where I stood, homeschooling taught my kids a broader view of the world. But that's us.

And when it came time for them to start back in public school, they were still ahead of the curriculum in most areas (except French).

Based on what the OP has written, I see no reason to judge this family negatively for homeschooling, or anything else.

 

[Disneychick75]

The parent is the teacher...so yes that is who assigns the grades. Most parents that commit themselves to homeschooling their kids take it very seriously. I don't know any parent that wants to support their kid after the age of 22. The goal is to get them into college and successfully launched.

Our daughter's homeschooling classes were on the computer. We did not assign her grades. The computer did.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Our daughter's homeschooling classes were on the computer. We did not assign her grades. The computer did.

That's technically classified as a virtual school. There are also computer based homeschool programs where parents can assign grades.

 

[MrsDuck]

What is the goal then? If you disagree. Then you should at least state why.

Some parents pull their students for all sorts of reasons, don't follow a curriculum, assign bogus grades, and the child really does nothing. That's why I disagree.

I'm not saying that all (and certainly not most families) approach homeschooling this way but I also know this can and does occur. What's their goal? Who knows! I think it's nuts. You'd have to ask the parent that question.

 

[Disneychick75]

That's technically classified as a virtual school. There are also computer based homeschool programs where parents can assign grades.

At the time she was schooled at home, the program we used was considered a homeschool program. In actuality it was a hybrid because she used books as well as the internet. It helped when we decided to send her back to a brick and mortar school. We were able to download her course work, tests, and scores to give to the administration.

 

[Magpie]

Some parents pull their students for all sorts of reasons, don't follow a curriculum, assign bogus grades, and the child really does nothing. That's why I disagree.

I'm not saying that all (and certainly not most families) approach homeschooling this way but I also know this can and does occur. What's their goal? Who knows! I think it's nuts. You'd have to ask the parent that question.

Some parents enroll their kids in school, but never expect them to learn anything and don't support them at home.

Some public schools are in unsafe buildings, are havens for drug dealers, and are places of violence and fear, not learning.

The fact that this is true for some kids does not mean I disagree with public schooling. It simply means there are crummy public school situations, just as there are some crummy home school situations. There are mediocre public schools, and mediocre home schools. And, fortunately, there are also some brilliant ones, as well.

Home school is not inherently inferior to public school. And I don't believe public school is inherently inferior to home school. I think they are very different things.

 

[MrsDuck]

Home school is not inherently inferior to public school. And I don't believe public school is inherently inferior to home school. I think they are very different things.

I happily agree with this statement. I'm not arguing that homeschooling is bad or inferior in any way, shape, or form as long as it's executed correctly. Same goes for public school!

 

[DisneyOma]

And those same questions can be asked of any home school student who wakes up at 7AM.
So because sometimes the girl sleeps till 11 it is BS homeschooling?
The only thing that is BS is people making assumptions about it all based on the fact that they aren't schooling during traditional hours.
What WORKS for that family is all that matters.

What are the parents doing when the kid is up until all hours of the night? Are the parents home when the kid is sleeping all morning? When is she socializing with peers, real live peers, not internet crap? Of course, if schooling is going on at some later time in the evening, and she's out socializing within the community, she should be fine later on. You know, when she's supposed to be an independent, productive adult. And who know, maybe she will get a second or third shift job. Those are hard shifts to work though, with multiple health risks, including an increase in diabetes, obesity, breast cancer, etc.

I would love homeschooling for my kids for the flexibility of schedules. All 3 of my children have different time clocks and different learning strategies. That IMO is the beauty of homeschooling something that public or traditional schools can not always accommodate.

As long as they can get that to work in the employment world, a flexible schedule is great. It's hard to find that though. I work with teens who have found it very hard to stay employed when they are allowed to be night owls.

But all of that is the business of the parents. Not the OP.

So when does someone intervene? When it's too late to help the kid be successful? Our family must just be closer than most - we do discuss all this stuff, openly, work together on stuff, etc. I'm privy to my nieces' and nephew's lives in ways it seems no one else on this forum is involved in their families. I may have one niece come live with me at one point to do her schooling here. My younger daughter may end up living with her aunt and uncle. Are no other families that close?

I think that one of the best things about homeschooling is that not everyone gets a say in the child's education. Those decisions fall to the parents. And that is exactly who should be making those decisions.

Study after study has shown that teens do better when they are allowed to sleep in, and stay up late. The public school system hasn't changed to allow for that. But those that homeschool, certainly can. And we did. When our son needed to sleep in, he could. When his cycle allowed him to wake early, we did that. He was able to learn HIS way.

What if the parents suck at educating their children? Then does someone else have a say? Or is it just dumped on the community afterward, to pick up the pieces and support the under-educated young adult? I do get the early starts are rough on teens. There's research showing their internal clocks shift. But how has that been a problem for the centuries of humankind's existence? Have our teens always been allowed to sleep in? When exactly are they expected to suck it up and just deal with stuff?

I am a Public School teacher and Counselor! And my kids currently go to PS, so let me just start with that, BUT.....

We homeschooled for 10 years. I certainly didn't need a busy body in my business telling me when my kids should get up or how late they should stay up, etc.....the child has As! My guess is that she is doing something right.

We stopped HSing 2 years ago. My oldest is at community college getting exceptional grades. He just got accepted to the college of his choice and yesterday we got his first scholarship award and we are told to expect two more very soon. My second son is a senior in high school. He is getting very good grades and doing just fine. My youngest is in 8th grade and getting very good grades as well.

Really, what the heck does it matter if she gets up at 7am or 11am? Did you know there are many jobs out there that require late nights? Nurses, ER Doctors, etc.....

Facebook.....pfffftttt.....if you had said porn, I would have been concerned, but FB? NAH.

But who is giving her A's? My guess is the parent is. She's 12 (7th grade) and reading at 9th grade level. That's not really a big deal. My 10 year old tested out of reading levels when she was in 5th grade. And yes, there are jobs that require night shifts. They are rough on your health - I wouldn't want one.

No homeschool is not unmonitored. My DGD has weekly online meetings with teachers. Her lessons are assigned and she has deadlines to meet. Her grades are done by teacher monitoring not her parents.

Did you intend to have a double negative or is that a typo?

That is not the case in every homeschooling situation.

I'm not knocking homeschooling - I teach public school and think it can be a great thing for some. In this case, who knows what's actually happening. It doesn't even really matter. OP should just stay out of it altogether!

I still don't get the 'stay out of it' advice. I guess people should just live in bubbles on cliffs miles apart in the desert? Don't families get involved with each other anymore?

Having a different schedule isn't inherently undisciplined. Someone who works second shift is not necessarily more or less disciplined than someone who works first, and I doubt anyone would argue that a college kid is less disciplined if s/he takes evening classes instead of attending during the day. You're looking at one thing - the wake-up time - and filling in the whole rest of the day in a very unflattering light, assuming that they're not devoting adequate time to school, not supervising the kid's internet use, etc.

So I guess the parents are in the bedroom with her all night while she's on the internet. When do they work, sleep?

I think the best thing about homeschooling is you can teach your kids how to think...unlike the public schools which teach them what to think.

Well, if you know how to think yourself... Seriously though, unless the parent is well educated it can be very hard to homeschool past a certain grade level. I'm thinking high school level math and sciences, foreign language, etc. I know many pay for online schooling, but is that even considered 'homeschooling'?

This is the part that really confuses me- how do you make the assumption that she is missing meals and a large portion of family life if she’s sleeping an extra 3 hours to 11 am? My son misses all the “family life” that occurs in our house between 8:30 pm and midnight because he has to be in bed for an early school day. On weekends and in the summer he sleeps until 10:30/11 and then gets to stay up until midnight with us. He’s getting the same amount of social and family interaction under both scenarios.

It’s such a stretch to me to assume every family is up at the crack of dawn and in bed with the crickets.

I guess it is based on the way the whole household works. But when do the adults work? Sleep? What is the child doing when he is awake, and the parents are asleep? Those are my concerns. Also, when does he get out of the house and socialize with peers?

Exactly. Our house is pretty quiet during the day. Most of the time, I am the only one home. And I am either, cleaning, having fun in some way or out running around town.

When we were homeschooling, I would get things down before our son got up. Clothes got washed, I started lunch/dinner, I had quiet time with a cup of tea and a book, or I prepared lesson plans. And of course his Dad was at work.

At night, the house would be alive with action. We might go for a walk, play games or have what we called a "read in." And of course our son would work on school throughout the day.

Most houses are pretty quiet during the day, aren't they? And busy in the evenings. Not sure what your point is for the above - sounds like well supervised time with family. Is your son up late into the night unsupervised on the internet while you are in bed, sleeping?

 

[cruiser21]

Some parents pull their students for all sorts of reasons, don't follow a curriculum, assign bogus grades, and the child really does nothing. That's why I disagree.

I'm not saying that all (and certainly not most families) approach homeschooling this way but I also know this can and does occur. What's their goal? Who knows! I think it's nuts. You'd have to ask the parent that question.

You don't need grades to be educated. You don't even have to follow a public school curriculum. There are parents that put their kids in school and approach school the same way. Are you saying kids that go to public school are guaranteed success in life.?

Most normal parents want the best for their kids wether it's public, private or homeschooling. The goal is to turn them into educated, productive, self sufficient adults. Sending them to school doesn't guarantee this nor does homeschooling, but I do believe that is goal of most good parents.
Statistically speaking homeschooled kids do very well in college. You may think homeschooling is nuts, but the statistics prove otherwise.

 

[cruiser21]

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[cruiser21]

So when does someone intervene? When it's too late to help the kid be successful? Our family must just be closer than most - we do discuss all this stuff, openly, work together on stuff, etc. I'm privy to my nieces' and nephew's lives in ways it seems no one else on this forum is involved in their families. I may have one niece come live with me at one point to do her schooling here. My younger daughter







Well, if you know how to think yourself... Seriously though, unless the parent is well educated it can be very hard to homeschool past a certain grade level. I'm thinking high school level math and sciences, foreign language, etc. I know many pay for online schooling, but is that even considered 'homeschooling'?

You do realize there are failing kids in publicschools also. Are you going to intervene in their lives too. I'm not sure if your wanted advice or your just trying to troll to get a rise out of the homeschoolers on this board.

Just to add if you feel inclined to intervene then by all means do it. You don't need our permission, but there is no need to come here and disparage home schoolers.

 

[MrsDuck]

You don't need grades to be educated. You don't even have to follow a public school curriculum. There are parents that put their kids in school and approach school the same way. Are you saying kids that go to public school are guaranteed success in life.?

Most normal parents want the best for their kids wether it's public, private or homeschooling. The goal is to turn them into educated, productive, self sufficient adults. Sending them to school doesn't guarantee this nor does homeschooling, but I do believe that is goal of most good parents.
Statistically speaking homeschooled kids do very well in college. You may think homeschooling is nuts, but the statistics prove otherwise.

Careful, I didn't say homeschooling is nuts (and I've clarified that I think homeschooling has value in multiple posts)... I said parents who support bogus homeschooling are nuts.

It's clearly not worth continuing this conversation as we are both wed to our opinions. Best wishes.

 

[AquamarineSteph]

In our state, a parent must be a college graduate to homeschool their children. While not every college graduate is a master of all subjects, I know that in my case I would feel comfortable teaching high school level math and science since I tutored both in college.

As far as night shift jobs, I know that I am very thankful to those doctors, nurses, related hospital staff members, first responders and 911 operators, utility workers and everyone else who works late in the evening or through the overnight shift to take care of things for the rest of us.

I'm a night owl. I always have been. I know that not everyone else is the same, but there are some of us who just have a different internal rhythm. Your body clock can also change over time. I'm not sure why the hours are such an issue.

Either way, it's been a most enlightening thread.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

What if the parents suck at educating their children? Then does someone else have a say? Or is it just dumped on the community afterward, to pick up the pieces and support the under-educated young adult? I do get the early starts are rough on teens. There's research showing their internal clocks shift. But how has that been a problem for the centuries of humankind's existence? Have our teens always been allowed to sleep in? When exactly are they expected to suck it up and just deal with stuff?

If you want to go back centuries, people homeschooled their children for centuries. The government wasn't involved. At all.

There are plenty of schools that suck at educating children. Parents have to pick up the pieces and educate the under-educated child or adult.

Most houses are pretty quiet during the day, aren't they? And busy in the evenings. Not sure what your point is for the above - sounds like well supervised time with family. Is your son up late into the night unsupervised on the internet while you are in bed, sleeping?

Well, quite honestly, I have no earthly clue if my son is up late into the night. Or if he is on line. I can guarantee you that he is unsupervised. I do, generally, know if he is actually at home. But sometimes, I don't know that either.

As I have said, more than once, I am no longer homeschooling. My son is 22 years old and in college.

But, for you, my point was, a child that is sleeping in, isn't missing family time. Most family time occurs after normal school hours. And after everyone is home from work.

 

[tinker&belle]

My niece is in public school and has worse social media habits. She barely gets to sleep at all and pretty much spends the weekend in bed/texting insta, Snapchat. I keep my mouth shut.

 

[Magpie]

So when does someone intervene? When it's too late to help the kid be successful? Our family must just be closer than most - we do discuss all this stuff, openly, work together on stuff, etc. I'm privy to my nieces' and nephew's lives in ways it seems no one else on this forum is involved in their families. I may have one niece come live with me at one point to do her schooling here. My younger daughter may end up living with her aunt and uncle. Are no other families that close?

"Close" is a two-way street, when it comes to families. Presumably your nieces' and nephews' parents appreciate and value your role in their children's lives. Otherwise, they'd cut you out, and they'd have every right to do so. In fact, if they had any reason to believe you were a toxic element in their family's life, they'd have a responsibility to do so.

Also, for the record, I guarantee you are not unique in being close to your family. Other people can disagree on this topic and still have family ties just as strong as yours.

What if the parents suck at educating their children? Then does someone else have a say? Or is it just dumped on the community afterward, to pick up the pieces and support the under-educated young adult?

You never "get a say" in how someone else raises their own child, even if they're related to you. Sometimes, if the child is genuinely being neglected or abused, the state "gets a say", but you - as an individual - do not.

The best you can ever hope for is to have your opinions voluntarily listened to and maybe even have your advice followed. But that's not the same as "getting a say".

I do get the early starts are rough on teens. There's research showing their internal clocks shift. But how has that been a problem for the centuries of humankind's existence? Have our teens always been allowed to sleep in? When exactly are they expected to suck it up and just deal with stuff?

What teens are we talking about, over the "centuries of humankind's existence"? For most of human history we rose with the sun and went to bed when the sun set, because we had no other option. I'm sure teens living in the far north had all sorts of weird hours, given the varying lengths of the day and night throughout the seasons. Teens working in factories during the Industrial Revolution could work any time of the day or night, and would have slept when they could. Teens who worked nights would sleep during the day. The non-working children of the wealthy probably routinely slept in until noon, because why wouldn't they? I really don't think getting up at 11 and going to sleep at 2am is going to turn anyone into an adult who can't "suck it up" and "just deal". My son keeps those kinds of hours routinely when he's not in university. He'd spend two or three months sleeping in until noon during the summer. But, if he's got an 8 o'clock class, he's up and out the door on time. Not because I instilled rigid sleep habits in him, but because he cares about actually getting to class and doing well.

Did you intend to have a double negative or is that a typo?

Correcting someone's grammar on a message board?

I still don't get the 'stay out of it' advice. I guess people should just live in bubbles on cliffs miles apart in the desert? Don't families get involved with each other anymore?

When invited to get involved, yes. When welcomed, yes. When told to butt out, families butt out. It's called "Respect".

Seriously though, unless the parent is well educated it can be very hard to homeschool past a certain grade level. I'm thinking high school level math and sciences, foreign language, etc. I know many pay for online schooling, but is that even considered 'homeschooling'?

The child is 12. It'll be awhile yet before her parents hit a topic they can't grasp. And yes, online schooling IS homeschooling.