How Do You Get a Baby to Sleep in a Crib?

[Princess_Aurora]

DS (9 months) just won't sleep in his crib. We've tried rocking him to sleep while holding him in our arms and then once he's asleep we try laying him down in his crib, but as soon he's in the crib he imediatly wakes up and starts crying. Then he's wide awake and it takes forever to get him back to sleep. So then we try to put him in the crib first and just wait for him to fall asleep, but he is like made of steal or something. He has a sing me to sleep pooh and one of those ocean wonder aqarium things and even though it puts me to sleep while I stand over his crib waiting for him to go to sleep, he is still wide awake! Eventually I just have to give up and put him in bed with us. I don't want to leave him in his room alone and let him cry because I hate to do that. I don't want him to have the feeling of being all alone. I want him to know that I'm there for him. Does anyone have any tips to help get a baby to sleep?

 

[janette]

Originally posted by Princess_Aurora
I don't want to leave him in his room alone and let him cry because I hate to do that.

Sorry but that's what you have to do. The older he is the harder it will be. I'm sure there is someone out there who can point you go a good website with some guidelines but really it usually just takes letting them work it out themselves.

If he is relies on you to help him sleep he won't learn to comfort and soothe himself. That's what he needs to be able to do to be able to sleep on his own. The first night will be awful and it will be better every day after that until you can just put him to bed. I also learned that my girls did much better if I put them to bed before they were too tired. Once they got to the grumpy tired stage it was worse.

 

[Serena]

I wish I did. My life would have been a lot easier. I eventually just took them to bed with me too, just because I came close to falling down standing/sleeping by the crib.

I've heard since that a hotwater bottle would help keep the crib warm so it doesn't startle them. I don't really have any other ideas, I'm sorry.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I don't have an answer for you, but COMPLETLY understand the problem. I finally gave up and allow my DD to sleep on the floor beside my bed. She has a beautiful room all decorated with Disney Princesses but will not sleep there. She was fine as a baby but since she got her "big" bed forget it! I don't mind having her in my room but am hopeful she will eventually move back to her own.

 

[debster812]

Oh, the gauntlet of sleeping through the night.

I feel for you. Does your son use a full size car seat, or a carrier/car seat? One thing that worked really well for us in the beginning (on our Peds reccomendation) was to put him in the car seat, and put the whole thing IN the crib. That helped to acclimate him to the room/crib.

Also, sometimes those crib sheets are chilly. I used to put a heating pad on the crib mattress for about 5 minutes before we would lay him on the mattress. TAKE THE PAD OUT before putting the baby in, but that helped a lot too.

We finally had to let him cry for 3 nights and then he was on his way. Hardest thing I have ever done.

 

[GeorgeG]

It's been many years since I've had to deal with this, but other than persistence, the only thing I can think of is that the crib mattress might be hard in comparison to your bed and even your arms.

Baby mattresses tend to be pretty firm to guard against suffocation in a softer substance, which is a pretty good reason. Keeping that in mind, you might experiment with something that will satisfy both issues.

 

[sydally9367]

Along with the other wonderful advice given so far, I would add perhaps getting an extra padded crib pad for underneath the actual crib sheet to make the entire crib more comfortable for your baby. This was a big problem for our DD (now 1 1/2) and once we added the extra cushion, she had no problems sleeping in her crib alone. We did have to let her *cry it out* few nights, but after the first loooooong night, it did get easier!

Good luck!

 

[Bunchkin]

I feel so sorry for you and your little one.
It sounds like your little man is used to sleeping with you in your bed. And this is the hurtle you need to somehow get passed. And since he is used to it, it's what he expects. We all don't like to let our child cry.
My little one likes his bed, but some times is a little fussy at bed time. I find that a consistent routine works the best. It worked for DD too.
Try rocking him to sleep, and then stop rocking but stay seated for a time. He may adjust to the non-movement and then placing him in his crib may be a smoother transition. I did this with DD when she was just a few months old.
Try rocking him with a blanket cuddled next to him so as you place him in bed it's still the same comfy, close feeling as you place him in the crib.
Sometimes as I place the baby in his crib still lying tightly against me, bending all the way down to the mattress with him close until he's on the mattress and then slowly release him. This worked for DD too.

DD has always LOVED her bed, she's 5 now. The only time she has ever been in our bed is when she was really sick. Like this past weekend when she was running a high fever and throwing up. But now she's back in her own bed with no problems. And the baby likes his crib too.

Not to sound harsh, but.....it is all about what they get acclamated too. If you keep putting him your bed to sleep that is where he will want to stay.
I wish you good luck and peaceful nights ahead!!

 

[Princess_Aurora]

But it's just so awful to let him cry. I can deal with it for a couple of minutes but then he starts that crying that says, "Someone please help me! I'm in pain! It's sooooooooo awful!!!"

He's outgrown his carry seat, but that sounded like a good idea to put him in that and then set it in the crib. Warming up the sheets is probably a good idea too. It didn't even occur to me that chilly sheets could just be scaring him out of his sleep.

 

[Serena]

Yep, what they said. You gotta do it. I couldn't and regretted it.

 

[BethR]

He is not in pain honey, he is just upset. It IS so hard - but this will just build you up for the MANY hard things that you must do as a parent.

I saw a program once that said that all of us wake up several times a night (but we are not fully awake). We all have our favorite "sleeping positions" and we get back to that position before we fall back to sleep each time. So if your son is used to falling asleep on you - that is what he is wanting to do to go back to sleep (like when you put him in his bed.) So he must learn to find a position in his bed where he feels comfortable to fall asleep - and after a few nights - he will have learned to get into his comfortable position in his own bed - not on you.

Easier said than done, I know. But you will be happy when in a few days he is able to fall asleep himself in his own bed. Unless you want to start the family bed (which I know is a conscience decision some people make) - then he needs to sleep in his own bed.

Good Luck!!!

 

[Michelle]

It's HARD, I know. My DD (now 9) always slept in her crib but went through that same phase at about 9 months of age.

The only thing that really works is letting them learn how to get to sleep on their own. The classic "Ferber" method says to go in and comfor them (without picking them up) every 5 minutes and slowly increasing the time until they eventually go to sleep.

We found that going in to the room and then leaving just upset our daughter even more. We would feed her, rock her, make sure she was warm and dry and then put her to bed. If she cried we would peek to be sure she was okay but would not go in unless there was real distress. She definitely did "cry it out" but after a VERY short period of time she learned self-comforting measures and went to sleep on her own. I really do believe you have to give every child the opportunity to learn how to get to sleep on their own. She has never been a kid to wake up in the middle of the night, either.

Good luck, I know it's a tough period (they are going through separation anxiety at that age) but you will get through it!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I do recall 'toughing it out' for a few nights in a row with both of them, (long time ago, LOL). Good luck, mom.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

Well, he was okay with it for a while. We'd rock him to sleep and we could lay him down in his crib and he'd be able to sleep. Then he got sick and was throwing up in the middle of the night and I didn't want him to be alone in his bed and get sick so I let him sleep with us. I think that's when the problem started. After a couple of weeks he got better and I went back to putting him in his crib and he just didn't like it. Then his first tooth started (finally) coming in and you could tell the poor baby was in so much pain. They should make a baby's tylenol pm for that. Do they?

 

[Michelle]

No, no Tylenol PM for babies, but you can use regular infant's Tylenol if he is in pain.

I think you hit it on the the head since he was in your bed for a few nights, you will have to "re-train" him to sleep in his own bed unless you want him in your bed every night.

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by Princess_Aurora
But it's just so awful to let him cry. I can deal with it for a couple of minutes but then he starts that crying that says, "Someone please help me! I'm in pain! It's sooooooooo awful!!!"

But he's not crying because he's hurt - he's crying because he wants you to pick him up. It's a learned response - a response that he's trained YOU in. DW is going through the same thing you are right now. DD (10 months) goes right to sleep for me, but won't for her. DW can't stand to let her cry, even for a little bit. Here's what I do:

Lay DD down. Give her her blankie, cover with the blanket and give her her nuk. LEAVE THE ROOM. If she just plays a little, I let her be.

If she crys, I let her cry for 2 minutes. Then I go in, put her covers back on(she kicked them off), hand her the blanket (she threw it across the crib) and give her the nuk(she spit it out). I will rub her tummy or forehead/head and tell her everything is ok for about 15 seconds. Then I leave the room.

If she crys again, I'll wait 3 minutes and repeat the 'comfort'.

If she crys again, I'll wait 4 minutes and repeat the 'comfort'.

I never got to 5. I only had to do this 2 or 3 nights. I think part of your problem is you stay in the room. Your DS knows that the more he crys the more you want to pick him up.

I know it's hard - DW is going through the SAME thing you are. But in the end as DD's Dr pointed out when asked the same thing you just asked -"Babies Cry. It's good for them to work their voice out."

Good luck!

 

[jel0511]

I was in a VERY similiar situation to you with my DD, who's now 5. SHe didn't like her crib, always had to rocked to sleep, and USUALLY woke up after being rocked, then it was to my bed. It was a viscious cycle that I didn't end until she was 18 month old. I ended it, because I wasn't sleeping anymore!!! She wasn't the best bed partner as she got older and it wasn't good for her to not get a full nights sleep. So, basically I lived in h*** for a couple of weeks. She also was VERY determined, she'd cry for some nights for 2 hours straight!!! There was nothing I could do, since she needed to sleep on her own, by herself. Well, after those two weeks, she's been the BEST sleeper!!! Always sleeping in her room, after that, I was able to put her down in her crib without her being asleep!!!! It was GREAT!!! I changed what I did with my DS, and it worked like a charm. I never rocked him to sleep from day 1. I always put him in the crib awake, and he's NEVER had a problem gettint to sleep, he's now 2. I know it's going to be hard, but unforunately he's crying because he wants you, not because he's in pain. It will stop. Maybe trying to give him some sort of security piece, a blankie, binkie, etc. Both of my kids have blankies and both still sleep with them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh yes, the battle of the wills for putting kids alseep...(ah never ends BTW) just so you know...
You have to picture a 2yo DS sleeping in your bed, kicking you while you sleep, both you and dh TIRED because this kid has control of your sleep...Now picture this everytime you pick him up and bring him to your bed. This is how I motivated myself with older dd. 11yrs now and I am still yelling at her to GO TO BED!

I used the Ferber method. You check on them every few minutes, w/o touching...btw...then you increase the time and it did take a while to work but like you I could not stand the crying...this method lets them cry and you get to check on them. Combine this with putting them in the crib happy and awake for naps or even bedtime. The crib should be "their" space. Eventually you will get to the point when you say bedtime, put him in the crib, and he goes to sleep. Find a method that works for you.

Now younger dd would cry to go into her crib . She six, and still wants her crib (SIL has it right now). Go figure...

 

[mtemm]

I highly recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. The first time I read it I thru it across the room because I didn't want Daniel to cry. A month later I picked it up again in desperation (for us it was napping problems). It took 2 days using his method (not exactly CIO, but there may be crying at first) and Daniel was sleeping in his crib for naps, taking better/longer naps, and putting himself to sleep for them. No crying.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...f=sr_1_1/002-0164601-7747225?v=glance&s=books

We put Daniel to sleep in his crib in his own room from day 1. Just put him sideways towards the top of the crib, and with a rolled up recieving blanket a few inches away on the other side so it felt like a smaller space to him. This was advice I got from my sisters and some friends. Yes I could hear him in the other room, I even had to turn the volume off on the monitor because I really could hear him if he needed me w/o it. Then no transition between bassinet and crib. Worked great for us!

By the way...two tips that helped me when he was crying. One was to learn that for Daniel, if I went in every few minutes he would get more upset. That works for many kids, but not him. Know your child! Second, I would get as far away from the crying as possible. For me that meant our finished basement. Kept a monitor that I could flick on and off...a video monitor would be great.

Good luck to you!!!

Marcia

 

[snoopy]

My youngest went through a period where he would cry in his crib. I also used Dr. Ferber's method - when he would cry, I would go in his room and check on him - but never pick him up. Then I would leave the room and repeat the procedure all night if necessary. It only took a week or so of this before he understood that Mommy was not picking him up and putting him in bed with us. Its very tough listening to your baby cry, but we made the decision early on that we did not want our kids sleeping in bed with us.

Babies need to learn how to put themselves back to sleep when they wake up. Its heartbreaking during that training time, but the method we used proved to be effective. My kids are allowed to come into bed with us now when either is sick, or if one of us is out of town. Its more of a special treat to them, they don't expect or need it.