I'll pray for you......

[Wishing on a star]

Just re-read your original post....
if she actually rolled her eyes and laughed and turned her back and walked off on a parent.
I would be addressing this with the Powers That Be and the administration.

The thing is, one has to go about this in a very measured and specific manner.
I would determine who the appropriate people are, request a meeting with them, document everything.....
You and your spouse should neither react from an emotional standpoint.
Neither of you should talk to anyone, or even give specifics until you are able to meet and talk with the appropriate people face to face.
Remember every word and action very specifically, and document thoroughly, right away.
You need specifics and documentation.

If this is a public pre-school, then questioning you about your feelings about 'God' are way, way, beyond appropriate.
If this is a private pre-school, then I would address it from the angle that you did not feel that this was appropriate behavior from their front office staff.

I am the type of person who might want to address it or simply remove my child from that environment, immediately...
But, of course, you might be more inclined to turn the other cheek.
This would def be your personal decision... only you know the best way for you to handle this situation.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would just say Thank You to the randoom, so-called well meaning, church lady.
That would not be my response when it is the school staff where my young child is enrolled.

 

[Annadesu]

I went to a Catholic school, and I say report her. Not just for what she said, but her reaction to you saying "no thanks" was also rude and unprofessional. If she's doing it to you, she's doing it to everyone. She has no right to try and press her religious beliefs on random parents and students.

 

[osopecoso]

Is it a public or private pre-school?

What is your goal, to get her fired? If so, I probably would mention something about her general behavior and that you don't appreciate her judgement or comments overall (about traveling, whatever else). But they probably already know and don't care, so your other options are to just live with it or find a different pre-school.

It is not public. It is a Montessori school which is one of the best in the area. We waited 1.5 years to get my daughter in. They have 3 of them. She needs to learn to keep her religious beliefs at home. Wife told me she is an ultra conservative evangelical (whatever that means). We have only been at this school for 6 months so we really never got a chance to get together with the other parents (they have one night a year where parents get together at a restaurant next door to the school and enjoy themselves while the school watches the kids, that is coming up soon).

 

[usnuzuloose]

Not in a preschool lecturing parents. If this was a Christian school then I can see that happening. Would you pray for someone who is Muslim and does not have the same beliefs as you?

Of course I would.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I would pray for anyone , who would like it or asks for it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

A montessori school, which I assume does not come cheap...
Yes, I would probably either address the issue, or vote with my wallet.
The top school administrator would know that I would not be happy paying for that kind of treatment/service.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Not in a preschool lecturing parents. If this was a Christian school then I can see that happening. Would you pray for someone who is Muslim and does not have the same beliefs as you?

Yes. In fact the people I pray for most don't share my beliefs.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

If someone wants to sincerely pray for me, then I'm thrilled to get prayers.

But this seems like she had no intention of actually praying for you; that she was just being nosy/judgemental/snarky /passive-aggressive, as others have said. That, honestly, would p me off. I'd probably let the first one go, but if it happened regularly, I'd send a note to administration, because it's inappropriate and unprofessional.

I'm also sure you're most likely not the only one. It's like having Mrs. Kravitz manning the entrance! Notes to administration, especially from lots of people, will surely help facilitate her move to a more suitable position.

 

[Allison]

If the comment was said with sincerely good intentions, I would appreciate it and it wouldn't bother me at all.

From the information we have, this does not appear to be the case in this situation. It comes across as condescending, rude and snarky.

 

[Hikergirl]

I would report her for her condescending attitude but not for her religious comments.
Normally if someone says they will pray for me I just say thanks but in this case since it was meant as a way to say what you are doing is wrong and you need a prayer to correct it then I'd probably tell her that I don't need her prayers, Satan watches over me quite well. Then I'd walk away laughing maniacally.

 

[mamacatnv]

The prayer/angry with God comment would not bug me nearly as much as the rest of her comments, body language and behavior.
I'm really big on being gracious and in regards to the prayer comment IMO the best response is just a thank you, that is gracious, the No-Thanks comment IMO is uncalled for.
That's kinda like someone saying "have a nice day" and the response being "Do not wish that for me" its odd, awkward and IMO a bit rude.

The comments regarding your presence at the orientation etc is IMO not her place and that would bug me.

 

[brockash]

I say thank you and I truly appreciate it. I believe that the greatest thing you can do.for someone is to pray for them.

I mean, while I personally would let it go, let's be real, she wasn't being sincere. She was saying it in a condescending way implying that his family needs the prayers, while she's much better of a human than them so she doesn't.

OK, I generally just allow idiots keep sounding like idiots when I know nothing I say will change their mind, but I also don't think you'd be out of line to report her as she should be keeping her religious thoughts/prayers to herself. She can obviously "pray" for whoever she wants but she doesn't need to announce it.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

The prayer/angry with God comment would not bug me nearly as much as the rest of her comments, body language and behavior.
I'm really big on being gracious and in regards to the prayer comment IMO the best response is just a thank you, that is gracious, the No-Thanks comment IMO is uncalled for.
That's kinda like someone saying "have a nice day" and the response being "Do not wish that for me" its odd, awkward and IMO a bit rude.

The comments regarding your presence at the orientation etc is IMO not her place and that would bug me.

I get where he was coming from with the rebuttal though- she had already made rude comments that insinuated he wasn't being present in his child and wife's lives. I'm not sure of the intonation, but if someone made a comment that they would pray for me because they thought what I was doing was harming my family in some way, I absolutely would turn around and say it was unneeded.

 

[Klayfish]

Like most things in life, I'd have to make a judgment call as to how it was intended. Now that I live in the south, I hear it somewhat often too. If the person is really just trying to be polite and friendly, I just kind of smile and nod, or at most say "Thanks". However, if it's clear to me their being snarky or condescending, I will reply with something snarky in kind...typically something that people who believe in religion or god (obviously, I don't) pretty unhappy.

 

[Marchand63]

I her case I would say just OK, since it was being a bit condescending. Usually just Thank you, not a thing to me.

 

[VandVsmama]

Only you can decide whether or not this is a hill to die on.

The woman was definitely passive-aggressive. And she's judgemental, too. What a fun combination!

Most of the time, when someone says, "I'll pray for you," it's meant to be genuine. It's meant to be helpful and supportive. However, there are definitely those times (and this is one of them) in which the "I'll pray for you" is meant as an underhanded dig, an insult, and it's really really passive-aggressive.

I've run into this myself before. What I have found to be really effective in those situations (i.e., when you KNOW that the person really didn't mean "I'll pray for you" as a positive & helpful thing) is to put on your Suzy Sunshine voice and say back to him/her, "Oh, thanks! I really appreciate that!" It sets the passive-aggressive person off kilter because they usually are not expecting a response from you like that. I like another poster's suggestion to throw in a "I'll pray for you, too!"

 

[Hikergirl]

The prayer/angry with God comment would not bug me nearly as much as the rest of her comments, body language and behavior.
I'm really big on being gracious and in regards to the prayer comment IMO the best response is just a thank you, that is gracious, the No-Thanks comment IMO is uncalled for.
That's kinda like someone saying "have a nice day" and the response being "Do not wish that for me" its odd, awkward and IMO a bit rude.

The comments regarding your presence at the orientation etc is IMO not her place and that would bug me.

In the OP's case it was pretty clear that the woman wasn't praying for the OP to have a wonderful safe trip. She was being a rude *****, and that doesn't get you a gracious reply in return.

 

[soccerdad72]

I'd probably just say, "Ummm, thank you?" and move on. Sounds like she's being passive aggressive, but I would bite my tongue and not get into it with her.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Normally, I would thank someone who offered to pray for me...because normally, their intent would be comfort (in a form that feels natural to them).

In this case, however, it's very clear she is judging, not comforting! A snarky comment would have been on the tip of my tongue...But, the general rule is "Do not get on the bad side of the school secretary." So I probably would have kept it to myself.