Inviting friend of DS-what to offer?

[Psychodisney]

We are thinking of iniviting a friend for our DS 14. We invited another family to go with us that has friends for our DS12 and DD8. We are putting them up at the BCV. But DS14 would be left out so we were thinking of inviting a friend for him. Wondering what others have done as far as expenses. We have o 2BR so the room is not an issue. Airfare is almost $300 (to get on our flight-New Year's). Adding him to the dinng plan would be $273(7 nights) and a PH would be $255. We could afford to pay for it all but I'm not sure if that is the right thing to do either. Any suggestions?

 

[tjkraz]

I don't think you should feel any obligation to pay those other fees. You are already providing the room.

That said, if you really want this person to go, you might have to compromise on the food. Unless the child's parents are familiar with what it costs to vacation at Disney, being told that it will cost $300 to feed a 14-year old for a week is likely to be a shock.

 

[rocketriter]

It depends on the financial abilities of the parents and your current arrangement with the other family that's actually traveling with you. Assuming the traveling family is paying for everything except the room, then if the costs are not out of reach for family of your DS14's friend, it's reasonable for them to pick up everything except the room. Everyone's invested, so everyone values the trip and you're not stuck with a big bill.

 

[blueroses]

I'm going to disagree here. If this person is your guest (especially since we're talking about a child), you should be prepared to and offer to pay for everything - flight, park admission, food. However, if it is not a financial burden for the child's parents, they should then offer to pick up at least some part of it - probably something with a fixed cost like the flight or park admission. And they should provide spending money for souvenirs. This is the sort of passive-agreesive politeness southerners like myself specialize in - offering to pay knowing that the proper thing for the other party to do is to refuse.

 

[rbuzzotta]

I don't think I could agree to pay for everything!! UGH!! My oldest DD has taken friends several times. We pay for the room of course, food in the room and if they join us for dinners we take care of that!!! She will be 16 and has yet to decide if she will be inviting a friend or 2 friends this summer.

Many people are fine with paying transportation and park tickets and giving their children spending money!! For some kids, this may be an only opportunity to get to see Disney. My DD doesn't enjoy the parks and hangs at the pool most of the time.

We take them grocery shopping and they pick out their food they like. Teens are so picky!! LOL!

 

[FreeTime]

I would agree to pay for everything. I think that it could put the other family in a difficult situation if they couldn't afford for their child to go. Hopefully they will be able to offer something toward it. When we invite other kids (only relatives to date) we pay their way but have them come over for several months in advance to earn spending money. They are pre-teen to teen so we have them cut the grass, babysit, etc. It works out for both of us. Don't know that this would would in your case though.

 

[Horace Horsecollar]

An "invitation" implies that the person who is doing the inviting will be doing the paying.

So, I think it's important to make the invitation specific to what you're willing to cover.

When we've invited our kids' friends or cousins to vacation with us, we invited them to join us at our destination where we would provide accommodations, meals, and admissions -- but that we would not be covering airfare, shopping, or treats outside of meals (such as poolside ice cream or fancy coffee drinks).

My reason for excluding airfare was not just to save hundreds of dollars, but also to avoid being stuck with worthless, nonrefundable tickets if someone decided not to go. And that's exactly what happened with someone, when that kid decided not go after all to avoid being away from home for over a week. Now that kid's parents have to deal with trying to get value out of the nonrefundable ticket.

I also think it would be reasonable to exclude theme park admission passes if going to WDW because that's a fixed, known expense. However, because the guest (especially if the guest is a child) has very little control over what restaurants everybody goes to, it seems reasonable to include meals as part of the invitation.

I would hope the parents of the invitee would indirectly cover other expenses (at least partially), either by reciprocating (inviting your child in the future) or by giving their child funds to treat everyone to something, such as a nice dinner. Of course, it also depends on their ability to pay. And they have no obligation to do so.

 

[ACDSNY]

When relatives or friends have gone with our kids, their parents picked up the cost of airfare and park tickets. We covered the room and all meals. That being said, I've taken one niece a few times to DL and once to WDW and paid all of her costs as her parents couldn't afford it. For me it would depend on the situation.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

Our kids have both invited guests for our trip in February.

We offered to pay for airfare, food, room and tickets. Our only request is that they bring their own spending money (my own kids have to do this).

The parents of the 9 year old have offered to pay for the airfare, but I haven't seen a check yet. If it never comes that is fine, I intended to pay anyway.

In my opinion, when you "invite" someone to be your "guest", it is your financial responsibility.

 

[rocketriter]

I'm from up North, and we like to be direct.

If it's one wing of our family that certainly can't afford the tariff, we simply offer to pick up everything. Otherwise we just lay it on the table with a smile: We'd love for your kid to travel with us if it's OK with you. We'll provide the accomodations and [fill in the blank], and you'd be responsible for the [fill in the blank]. Please think it over and let us know by [fill in the blank]. Works like a charm and nobody's offended.

 

[spiceycat]

when my DN & DN invite friends my DB has no problem asking their parents for money. He asks for a lot.

he refused to allow one of her friends to go because they couldn't pay. I got mad about this - because then I was paying for the condo and tickets....

because of this I don't buy them tickets any longer.

 

[Sammie]

If we invite a child guest we cover costs, of course sometimes when we offered the parents refused to let us cover all of it, and they bought airfare and park tickets and we had the room and fed them.

I think it would be wrong to invite him and expect them to pay unless they offered.

 

[mikesmom]

We used to take friends of DS when he was a teen. We would cover the room, the flight (but we had frequent flyer miles so it wasn't OOP), and food (I would have been feeding the boys when they hung out at our house half the summer anyway ). I asked the friend to cover his own park ticket and spending money. We did it several times and it worked out well. Usually the parents would bring me over some money to help defray the extra expenses, although I really didn't expect that.

 

[hemispheredancer]

If I were in your shoes, I would have them pay for the plane ticket and park ticket. The food will be on your dime. DD12 asked her friend to go on our girls only trip. We told her she would have to take care of her plane ticket. Not sure if we are going to do a park or water park, but if we did I would just get her a 1 day ticket. I would also take care of her meals.

 

[Psychodisney]

Thanks for all of your input. I like the though about the plane ticket-having them buy it-especilally if they were to back out at the last minute. I was thinking that yes-since we we would be "inviting" we should cover food and park tickets. We want to do the dining plan again so that cost is fixed-and we want to park hop -so that price is fixed.

 

[TammyAlphabet]

My son, 15, is bringing a friend to universal, we are paying for the room, his ticket and his airfare, he is covering his own food and spending money. I will buy some groceries for the room.

 

[Wigit12]

We took a friend for DS several years ago and asked the parents for his airfare and park ticket. I would definitely pay for food. Dining plan makes it easier now but I thought it avoided an uncomfortable situation at the time. Didn't like the idea of a 12 year checking out Disney food prices and budgeting his money.

 

[Boston5602]

At least for a child ,if I was inviting without prompting from the child's parents, I would cover all cost except I like the idea of the parents paying for airfare. That way its not a decision to be treated casually.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I think you made the right decision about just asking for them to get their own airfare. That seems reasonable, and then if they back out, the onus is on them for the cost of the ticket. The park ticket you can always use in the future, and the DDP can be cancelled for a person not coming as long as you know a few days ahead to call MS and change the number.

 

[dwelty]

I think when you invite someone to be your "Guest" You should pay for travel, food and lodging. This is just proper etiquette. If you are not willing to pay for these things than you are asking him to be a travel "companion", which is something entirely different.

The act of "Splitting the bill" or "going Dutch" so to speak is something that came out of the sixties mentality, and unfortunately has stuck around with some people. The act of hosting a guest, at your home, while traveling, or for dinner, and paying for it has been a custom in western society for hundreds of years. I say treat him. (Especially since he is just a kid)