if bubbles float in the sky then why don't balloons without helium in?
if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it does it make a sound?
what sound does one hand clapping make?
should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?
If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If the Internet has no boundaries, then why do we need Windows?
Can you freeze anti-freeze ?
If toast falls butter side down and cats land on their feet, what happens
when u put a slice of bread ( butter side up ) on a cats back?
Do you ever wonder if really dumb people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do blondes really know that they have more fun?
What was the best thing before sliced bread ?
How can you not like the past but like the future and present when they both will eventually become the past?
Why do you always push a door when it says pull and pull it when it says push?
If you expect the unexpected, wouldn't the unexpected be expected?
What happens if you give a pig some bacon?
IF driving and drinking is against the law, why do all the bars have parking lots?
Why is it we are willing to spend hours looking for the remote instead of taking 2 seconds to walk to the TV and use the on-board controls?
Why is it called a MISSile if it was made to hit things?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Who really did " let the dogs out "?
What's the difference between something being "crispy" and something being "crunchy"?
When it rains why dont sheep shrink ?
If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant...what do you do?
Does water float?
Why do they call it a building if its already built?
Where does the white go when snow melts?
Exactly where is the road less traveled?
If A tree falls when no one's around to the other trees make fun of it?
Do blind people have dreams? if they do, do they know what they are seeing?
If your eyes are round, why can you see out of the corners of them?
Why is more than one goose called geese but more than one moose is not meese?
If Snickers really satisfies, why do they make a king size bar?
Who took the bite out of the apple computer logo?
Does a one legged duck swim in circles?
Why do they call it toothpaste, do they expect you to glue you teeth together?
If someone is sent to prison he/she becomes a prisoner, but does someone sent to jail become a jailor?
Why do black tires produce white smoke ?
What is a male ladybug called?
If an orange was purple, would they still call it an orange?
Why are stairs called 'stairs' when inside, but when you're outside they're called 'steps' ?
Why is abbreviation such a long word ?
If quitters never win and winners never quit. what smart guy came up with the saying "Quit while you are ahead"?
what happens when you get scared half to death twice?
What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
Which came first the chicken, the egg, or the rooster?
Why do they call Greenland Greenland when its all ice, and Iceland
Iceland when its all green?
Why is it when your computer freezes, people keep on pushing more and
more buttons?
Why do teachers need answer books?
On Christmas Light boxes, why do they say for indoor/outdoor use only? Where else are we going to use them?
Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary?
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?
If you're in a car travelling at the speed of light, what happens if you put on the headlights?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, and when you transport it by ship, it's called a cargo?
If 'practice makes perfect' and 'nobodies perfect', why bother practicing?
I once saw a sign, and it read: "Seeing-Eye Dogs Only". Can dogs read?
Why do those signs say, "In Case of Fire, Do Not Use Elevator"? How would you put a fire out with an elevator?
What is the speed of dark?
What's another word for synonym?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Ok, we know skid marks are created by tires.
Tires are created by machines.
Machines are created by man.
Man was created by God.
So.... Who ( or what ) Created God ?
How much dirt is there in a hole three feet square?
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
Why do cats have nine lives? Why not eight or ten?
If 24 hr. stores are open al the time, why are locks on the doors?
When someone says to you, "If I don't see you by then, have a nice
Christmas". Does that also mean if they DO see you by then, you
should have a lousy Christmas?
Why are they called houseflys if they are not pets?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
.....I just got two 98% in my classes and one of my papers was returned with a recommendation from an appelate court judge to add to my resume 
Now if only I had gotten this great news while on vacation in Disney, my day would have been perfect 
Now if only we had some bubbly here to share 
