Pay for the person behind you trend? (chains)

[Brett Wyman]

Isn't helping someone because you are judging their appearance and situation an illusion of doing something nice? Couldn't someone say you aren't really doing anything nice because you place such heavy restriction on just who you deem needs help or that someone must tangibly benefit from it?

But you aren’t helping anyone. Just your own ego.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

But you aren’t helping anyone. Just your own ego.

But isn't that just your preconceived notion? That you're not actually helping anyone I mean.

I don't think it's about ego in the sense that you are framing it. If anything I think it's your ego (and I truly ask that you don't take it personally here just trying to explain my thoughts in the only way I can) that has you making all these conditions for your aid as if there must be something out of it that has to be seen. Now that's not to say that people can't be egotistical about helping in a drive through by paying it forward but it doesn't mean they are egotistical either by doing so.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

But you aren’t helping anyone. Just your own ego.

It helped me, as a recipient. It put me in a good mood and the endorphins form that lasted a long time. It also inspired me to help others, so it’s a win-win in many cases.

 

[Allison]

It helped me, as a recipient. It put me in a good mood and the endorphins form that lasted a long time. It also inspired me to help others, so it’s a win-win in many cases.

Me too. I was feeling down when it happened to me and my day was brighter after that. People are too focused on the monetary aspect of it. Heck, my item was $1.07. It wasn't about that to me.

 

[spiders]

I couldn't care less how other people choose to spend their disposable income. The only expectation that you pay for the person behind you is the non-existent expectation you have set upon yourself.

Even as far as expectations go...the older I get, the less I care. There are very few people in this world whose opinion I actually care about and the list gets a little shorter every year. You better be in my immediate family or someone who can influence my career.

 

[ronandannette]

I choose not to weight my kindness to others based on assumed financial standing. I also see it as a separate thing from philanthropy. Just my philosophy.

I couldn’t agree more. Let’s face it, the price of a couple of cups of coffee isn't going to change anyone’s life, whether the recipient is a street person or the Sultan of Brunei. I do in fact agree it’s actually more about the giver in these cases. It’s a purposeful, small act of generosity and hospitality and caring for others. Cultivating those qualities in oneself builds good character and putting any gesture of blessing out there can’t be a bad thing. I doubt anybody ever intends to start a chain and I hope no one ever feels obligated to keep one going or does so grudgingly.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

It helped me, as a recipient. It put me in a good mood and the endorphins form that lasted a long time. It also inspired me to help others, so it’s a win-win in many cases.

Me too. I was feeling down when it happened to me and my day was brighter after that. People are too focused on the monetary aspect of it. Heck, my item was $1.07. It wasn't about that to me.

I agree with both of you here. I think we can all remember when someone did something nice for us and how we felt. Whatever our circumstances were that day, whatever was going on in our lives. I just found out today as she chose to publicly share her story that one of my college acquaintances (who I really only keep up with these days on facebook and is older than me by several years) was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer in july-she's 31. She may be the person in the range rover or $30,000 car for all anyone knows.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Holy stereotyping, Batman!

Some of those same people are going to the food bank! Most everyone needs a car.

Whatever. Do as you like.

And of course, you have no idea what the story is for that woman in the $30,000 SUV behind you.

True. You don’t know,
That’s why I like to give to places likes food banks where i know for sure the recipients need the help.

Like I say it Doesn’t cost anything to give others a smile - open a door, let a car in front of you, et others go to the front of the line, etc.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

True. You don’t know,
That’s why I like to give to places likes food banks where i know for sure the recipients need the help.

Like I say it Doesn’t cost anything to give others a smile - open a door, let a car in front of you, et others go to the front of the line, etc.

That person in the car may be the person who goes to the food bank for whatever their reasons for doing that and for whatever reasons they are in the car they are in and yet you assume because of the car they aren't one in the same. And given the times were are in now that may be the case more now than ever before.

 

[Allison]

Recipients of kindness don't have to be people in need. That is charity. It is a different concept.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

Every time there is a city or county vehicle, first responder or police officer behind me in a drive through, I pay for their order. Once the girl said "are you sure"? The order was over $30. They must have been on a food run but I paid for it anyway.

 

[disneychrista]

Recipients of kindness don't have to be people in need. That is charity. It is a different concept.

Kindness does not (have to) equal a monetary gesture.

 

[disykat]

Sometimes I just want that Dairy Queen blizzard! Although I think that my Tillamook in the freezer at home is better ice cream.

Since the last few "over 250 people paid for strangers" chains I've seen in the news were at Dairy Queens, including the one today, your chances might be good you'll be part of one.

Every time I read one of the articles and read all the quotes about kindness, generosity, etc. I still just don't see it. IMO, the first person is generous and the rest are just agreeing to play a game they've been asked to participate in.

Having worked at fast food (Dairy Queen, actually) I can see how the employees might enjoy playing the game. But that's what it seems to be. A competition.

 

[travelmomof3]

I like it because it is a reminder that there are nice, thoughtful people in the world. I was at Sbux the other day with about 4 drinks in my order and the person in front of me paid. I was caught off guard, even though I've been "involved" with pay it forward before. I was so happy just because it was a nice pause of all the negativity in the world. I then paid for the person behind me.

We haven't been to a restaurant other than curbside since March, but once we do, I'm going to take the idea from further up the thread and scout out police, firefighters, military. Such a nice idea!

 

[disykat]

Every time there is a city or county vehicle, first responder or police officer behind me in a drive through, I pay for their order. Once the girl said "are you sure"? The order was over $30. They must have been on a food run but I paid for it anyway.

I think that's fabulous. I hope they accept your gift.

 

[disneychrista]

Having worked at fast food (Dairy Queen, actually) I can see how the employees might enjoy playing the game. But that's what it seems to be. A competition.

And this is why I think the single paying for a persons coffee becomes such a long chain. The employees trying to get the longest ever chain.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I think that's fabulous. I hope they accept your gift.

They have no choice since they don't know till they reach the window lol.

 

[Allison]

Kindness does not (have to) equal a monetary gesture.

Exactly. But some seem to take issue if it does because they are equating it to charitable giving.

 

[disykat]

They have no choice since they don't know till they reach the window lol.

My comment basically meant I hope they accept it and enjoy it and don't feel pressured or obligated to pay for the order behind them because you paid for theirs. On these "chains" 250+ people aren't just randomly paying for the people behind them. That's why I keep trying to find people who have been in one to see what was suggested to them. My guess is that employees are suggesting it.

 

[Lizgistix]

How do you even order $40 at Starbucks?

Someone in the office was tasked with getting coffee for everyone.