When I was raised, I was hit to behave, my parents didn’t sign me up for any extracurricular activities, I was a latch key kid, but yes, my parents loved me in their way. They fed me and clothed me and kept a roof over my head.
As generations grow, each try to do better by their kids. My parents were raised by siblings and largely ignored. Loved yes, but cared for, questionable.
Because of this I do sign my kids up, I am home after school, I do play, I do take them on trips, I don’t hit, I tell them I like them AND I love them (a big one - my parents would say I love you but I don’t like you right now). I still yell when I’m angry, I’m not perfect, but I’m striving to be a better parent for my kids as my parents tried for me and I’m going to make mistakes and my kids will have bad memories of things I’m doing because that’s life.
I don’t think it’s that we aren’t “parenting” we just aren’t parenting in the same way they did when we were kids and so on down the line.
The kids being raised winning trophies they didn’t earn probably had parents that never won a trophy. Life sticks to you. Most parents are trying their best to be good parents.
Judging a parent because their KIDS got a little wild on vacation at a splash pad is a huge stretch. A little grace is a kindness we should all be afforded from time to time.