Taking son out of high school for a week of vacation?

[DisneyJamieCA]

When my kids were in elementary school they would always have an awards assembly at the end if they year. One of the awards they gave out was for perfect attendance and my kids and I would always say we felt so sorry for those kids because all that “award” meant was they never got to miss school for anything fun. I was always very involved with making sure my kids were learning and their education. I taught both of them to read well before they started kindergarten. Education has always been a too priority to me, attendance has absolutely not. We like to travel and have lots of fun!

They’re dangerous awards to give, IMO. It really encourages kids to come to school sick so they don’t miss a day. We had a few do this at my kids’ school back when they gave them out.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We like to travel and have lots of fun!

We actually ate an early dinner with my mom yesterday and I brought up this topic. Her response "well why couldn't you just wait til summer?" She was like "well if it was for a family member or something who was probably not going to last much longer (she was meaning weeks/a few months) maybe that would be for something different"

It was only 1 trip that I was taken out of school on but somehow I know I know crazy at it may sound still went on plenty of vacations. In fact my stepmom was a travel agent and we had super cheap tickets through Northwest Express and Delta (this was when you could fly standby which you had to do and when you filled out your ticket at the airport). I went on a lot of day trips with my dad. We went to the Lake every summer to visit my grandparents usually staying 1-2 weeks, went to FL to visit my stepmom's family usually staying 2-3 weeks. I'll tell you what I did not lack for adventure as a kid. Now with my mom those adventures were usually day outings like miniature golf or bowling aside from the Lake but boy we sure still had lots of fun!

 

[AndreaA]

They’re dangerous awards to give, IMO. It really encourages kids to come to school sick so they don’t miss a day. We had a few do this at my kids’ school back when they gave them out.

Yup - hard to believe anyone would celebrate kids going to school sick nowadays, and it’s hard to believe there is any child out there who NEVER gets sick.

We have taken our kids out for vacations and will likely do so again. As long as the kids are keeping up with the work, it’s no one’s business but the parents’, in my opinion. Truancy rules were created to make sure kids got the education they deserved, so they should only come into play if a kid is habitually absent AND doing poorly in school.

ETA: If a district has funding based on daily attendance rather than enrollment, well that’s the district’s problem, not the parents’. Perhaps enough pushback would encourage change. Far too often parents just go along with what schools dictate, and I say this as someone who has worked in our local school for years, so I’m neither biased against them, nor do I have rose-colored glasses on when looking at them.

 

[luvsvacation]

You are very brave, you couldn’t pay me to go to an AI in Mexico in March (dd20 is probably going, party time).

Genuinely curious why you say this? I’ve never travelled to Mexico before (or outside of the US at all). It SEEMS like it would be a safe vacation. Direct flight, transfer to the resort, and staying at the resort except for a couple of excursions booked through the resort. I booked an adults only resort that will not have a crazy college kids party scene. What am I not thinking of that I should be concerned about?

 

[soccerdad72]

Genuinely curious why you say this? I’ve never travelled to Mexico before (or outside of the US at all). It SEEMS like it would be a safe vacation. Direct flight, transfer to the resort, and staying at the resort except for a couple of excursions booked through the resort. I booked an adults only resort that will not have a crazy college kids party scene. What am I not thinking of that I should be concerned about?

Spring breakers - but if you're in an adults only resort, I would imagine that wouldn't be an issue.

 

[Dead2009]

Use the pandemic to your advantage, just say he got Covid or was exposed to Covid. Should get you plenty of time off without penalty.

No, do not do this. School has already started and now youre throwing a wrench into the school's plans by lying about having the virus.

 

[Magical2017]

ODS really struggles with missing school. He has AP classes, ADHD, and anxiety, so our trips are limited to breaks. Unfortunately his school and the university where I work do not have the same spring breaks, so that leaves summers, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (crowded, very expensive).

This year he has missed 5 days of school and YDS has missed 8. They were sick (negative for COVID) and we did not want to send them to school right now with colds. They really cannot miss anymore. We do have a trip to Universal scheduled for MLK weekend and they are supposed to miss school that Friday as we are flying down Thursday night. ODS says he is okay with missing a day. I am tempted not to go but we booked this awhile back.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Truancy rules were created to make sure kids got the education they deserved, so they should only come into play if a kid is habitually absent AND doing poorly in school.

In our state and area truancy laws are also about home life as they are about compulsory attendance rules. For here truancy (defined as unexcused absences) can spark a CINC (Child in Need of Care) alert. Sometimes kids do well in school...when they are actually attending school. From a legal standpoint using doing poorly in school only means you could be missing so many signs and signals of things going on in home life. It's like saying only kids who don't get good grades are the only ones who could possibly have neglectful parents (not to mention abusive parents) or be struggling with things even at school that cause them to miss school. Home life can absolutely have an impact on school work though. Truancy also looks into ways to re-engage the students should it be an issue with just that.

There's also a difference in truant and chronically absent. Chronically absent takes into consideration unexcused AND excused. So your kid is sick so they get excused absence, they have an appointment for whatever they get an excused absence, you take them out of school for whatever and it gets counted as an excused absence. It all adds up. In our state chronic absence is 10% or more of the school year. 1 shorter trip won't get you to this point but it all depends on how the rest of the time goes. I knew a few, thought not many, who got mono. 1 was out for 1 1/2 months of school second semester of our senior year of high school. She was doing school work at home but was missing critically the time actually in school. When she came back she was behind and was extremely worried about her grades. Mono took her energy and made it more difficult to focus and that carried onto when she was cleared to go back into the school buildings. Unfortunately things happen that can be foreseen.

From a school district standpoint attendance rates and graduation rates are usually closely connected. On average the higher percentage a student attends school the higher graduation rate. While I think this one is more of an extreme example due to the District's characteristics the county above me their main school school district has the following stats for their school district: "The graduation rate for 9th grade students is at 86% for students with an attendance rate of 95% or higher. Students with less than a 95% attendance rate graduated only 48.6% of the time." While that trend is roughly the same for other school districts in my county the graduation rate is not quite that low for less attendance rate and the graduation rate and attendance rate are higher than this other school district I gave the stats for.

 

[mjkacmom]

Genuinely curious why you say this? I’ve never travelled to Mexico before (or outside of the US at all). It SEEMS like it would be a safe vacation. Direct flight, transfer to the resort, and staying at the resort except for a couple of excursions booked through the resort. I booked an adults only resort that will not have a crazy college kids party scene. What am I not thinking of that I should be concerned about?

College students are adults, a bunch of my daughter’s friends are booked at an AI adult resort in March with a group package, my daughter thinks it will be cheaper to book independently. Family friendly resorts don’t want college spring breakers.

 

[pinkxray]

We are taking DD out for 1 week in Dec. She is also a high school senior. She has no problems with it. If she did have any concerns about falling behind we would not go.

I work in a hospital and it is impossible for me to get any week that has a holiday in it off. Our school no longer has Columbus Day or Veterans Day off. Even summers are difficult to get a week off that matches DH since he tends to get holiday weeks off.

 

[Kellydelly]

I took my three high schoolers out of school for two weeks over Thanksgiving break in 2019. The school did not have a problem with me doing that, but one teacher had a huge problem with it. It was my sophomore son's chemistry teacher. She was pissed and expected him to actually turn in work every day to her instead of handing it in at the end of our trip . She actually made me cry over the situation. We didn't realize that was her expectation (because it was crazy!) and that took some sorting out after we came back and she had given him a ton of zeros. I had another sophomore and a senior that were in the school's performing arts program and that cost them good roles in the next show. It was pretty ridiculous and unfair and caused a lot of drama and tears. They were only going to miss one day of rehearsal and the instructors made them pay dearly for it. Sometimes teachers suck.

We left the Sunday before Thanksgiving so my kids lost one and a half days of school that week, and then the full next week. We spent 5 nights on the Gulf coast and then went to Orlando to spend 5 nights at Universal. I refuse to pay to visit Orlando during peak holiday times so that is why I planned the trip when I did. I did not intend for my kids to get such strife from the teachers for my choice, but sometimes you don't realize what the consequences will be till you're living it. The only snags were the awful chemistry teacher and the performing arts ones. The other teachers were great and said have a nice time! Then covid hit two months later so I really don't regret taking that trip. May be the last normal trip they ever have for a long time. It doesn't sound like your son will have too much of a problem missing school. Just feel out the teachers and see what they think. Not that it's their choice if you do it.

 

[luvsvacation]

College students are adults, a bunch of my daughter’s friends are booked at an AI adult resort in March with a group package, my daughter thinks it will be cheaper to book independently. Family friendly resorts don’t want college spring breakers.

I think we’ll be ok. The resort I chose seems very concerned with making sure everything is quiet and calm. They cater more to older adults. No one is allowed to check in without an adult 25+ staying in the room with them. They have sister resorts nearby that have the lively pools with music and games and cater to a younger clientele. My son is 18 but we always joke he was born a middle aged woman! His idea of a good time will be lounging near the pool with a glass of wine. He is not interested in a loud party scene and neither am I. It took a lot of searching to find this resort! I worried that you meant going to Mexico may be unsafe.

 

[MamaMermaid]

High school teacher here. Take him out.

 

[dusty]

Good point. In my 18+ years on the DIS this is always the most controversial topic on the DIS. Talk to your child, talk to your school because policy varies across the nation. And the pandemic may have changed some policies. My kids went to Catholic High School, they are 4 years apart and they were at that school 2001 to 2009 and the policy changed vastly over those 8 years. Some parents chose the school because at the beginning their policy was, as long as the work was done, there was no issue. They got in trouble with the organization that accredits private High Schools and by 2009 teachers were forbidden to give students any credit for work they missed during a vacation.
As for the public schools here, well, this would be felony truancy. You'll be explaining your child's absence to a Judge.

Felony truancy ?? What state do you live in? And when was the last time someone was actually charged with this even if absences met the legal definition? Indiana has truancy laws and our public high school does not even take attendance. Seems to be their solution for being responsible for monitoring truancy. Thus they had better not tell me when and how I can have my child out of school with me, especially if I let them know he is with me.

This debate has always been hot and hard and a struggle. School systems differ so much, I'm not sure any one family can speak for another school system. What I do know is I have never met anyone who regretted doing it when they could or did. The family time and memories outweigh the school's need to micromanage kids lives when the kids are not there because they are with their families. These are not kids skipping school and their parents are not aware.
Also given the track record our school system has in NOT handling those cases of kids being out truant for real... I can't see them wanting to take on parents who care and are involved.

 

[tvguy]

Felony truancy ?? What state do you live in? And when was the last time someone was actually charged with this even if absences met the legal definition? Indiana has truancy laws and our public high school does not even take attendance. Seems to be their solution for being responsible for monitoring truancy. Thus they had better not tell me when and how I can have my child out of school with me, especially if I let them know he is with me.

This debate has always been hot and hard and a struggle. School systems differ so much, I'm not sure any one family can speak for another school system. What I do know is I have never met anyone who regretted doing it when they could or did. The family time and memories outweigh the school's need to micromanage kids lives when the kids are not there because they are with their families. These are not kids skipping school and their parents are not aware.
Also given the track record our school system has in NOT handling those cases of kids being out truant for real... I can't see them wanting to take on parents who care and are involved.

California. They do a couple truancy sweeps per semester. Most involve kids whose parents don't bother to check that their kids go to school, not vacation absences. Schools here absolutely do take attendance here since they get paid so much per day per student who attends. And in the district I live in, which has open enrollment and parents line up to get their kids in the "right" schools, your child loses their slot at that school if they have unexcused absences.
And best response I recall here on the DIS about taking a child out of school for a vacation was that they were spending $25,000 for a Disney Cruise for the family vacation, they just included the $500 truancy fine as a cost of the vacation.

 

[tvguy]

At my high school graduation, they gave an award to 2 kids who had perfect attendance for their entire school career. These kids remained in the district the whole time and were never absent for 13 years from Kindergarten through 12th grade! Which is quite an accomplishment, until you realize that means they were never even sick for one day of their childhood (or worse, they were sick but went to school anyway).

LOL. Both our kids had the unusual knack of getting sick after school Friday, and being recovered by Sunday night.
They had so many days off during the school year that juggling regular Doctor and Dentist visits on non-school days was easy. Their Orthodontist made it even easier. There were two Orthodontists in the practice, and they were open 4 days a week 6 am to 6 pm so you never had to miss school for an appointment. Although the ONE time the kids did a before school appointment, they weren't happy.

 

[tvguy]

Use the pandemic to your advantage, just say he got Covid or was exposed to Covid. Should get you plenty of time off without penalty.

Wouldn't work here. The County Health Department sends someone out to your house to verify you are in fact quarantined.

 

[wfjny]

We never had the kids miss more than a couple of days in HS because it was too hard to catch up, and they didn’t have classes they could blow off. That said, it sounds like your son’s situation might be a little different, and times have changed quite a bit. Ultimately he has to do what works for him. I happen to agree with the view that life is short...

Had to look twice, to see if i had typed that. I completely agree...

 

[ronandannette]

So very sad (and quite scary!) that 3 vaccinated people from the same family died from Covid. I am assuming they had comorbidities and took great chances by vacationing.

Statistically, we should feel safe going on vacation, or to the grocery store, or to school (imagine teachers in front of 30+ students a day while indoors), etc. if we are vaccinated.

Accounts like this are frankly difficult to believe, statistically speaking. What an incredibly unfortunate family. Thoughts and prayers.

 

[mefordis]

No, do not do this. School has already started and now youre throwing a wrench into the school's plans by lying about having the virus.

Not only that but all of the kid's contacts will be contact traced and called up, some of the kicked out of school for 14 days. Please don't ever lie about having covid.