Tuesday's Super Easy Rebus Riddle

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan...."
 
GeorgiaAristocat said:
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan...."
I just heard that this weekend. You told it better.


Oh yeah, if I'm not in, it's a typo.
 
GeorgiaAristocat said:
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan...."
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
I am loving all the jokes.

I already voted by absentee ballot. Both parties were encouraging people to vote by absentee ballot because of problems with the electronic machines in the primary. It was easy and I didn't have to wait in line. Both kids at college voted that way too.
 
pm sent. I'm IN!

Duck jokes go well with the wet weather we are having today.

Voting later after I take the boys to cathecism.
 
I'm in.

Not voting at all - I'm Canadian. We do have municipal elections coming up though, and I'll be voting in that.
 
Morning voters. PM sent and I'm in. Very duck-like weather out there right now. Which reminds me:

What is a duck's favorite food?
















Cheese and quackers.
 
PM sent and I should be in. I will be voting this afternoon when Rhonda gets home from work.

Here's my contribution for duck jokes...

A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver and informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where does he think he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he just doesn't know what to do anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from there and that's where you should be taking them. That will take care of your problem." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.

The next day the officer again sees the pick-up truck once again speeding down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are standing there with sunglasses. The officer pulls over the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!" "I did that," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!"



Blessings!
MarkyMark
 
L107ANGEL said:
Who the hell gave Craig Ty's bullhorn :rolleyes:

I said VOTE!

thextremetyannouncement.jpg
 
crcormier said:
I said VOTE!

thextremetyannouncement.jpg


OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! My ears! Geesh, Cwaigy!


Speaking of Cheese and Quackers.....Let's all go for a tour of San Francisco Bay on the Bay Quackers.
duck08.jpg

I would rather be there today, then here. Just sayin'.
 

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