We did not set the alarm last night nor did we ask for a wake-up call, assuming instead that the bright Florida sunshine would beckon to us from beyond our 5th floor window.
We forgot to take a couple of things into account:
1) The beds at PBH are super-comfy;
2) The draperies are really heavy;
3) We were drunk, or pretty darn close to it, when we went to bed last night.
I can't say either one of us slept well - Jason snores like a twin-engine plane whenever there is the slightest change in his eat / sleep schedule, and I have to get up every hour to go to the bathroom (I also take this opportunity to remind myself that I really don't want to smother my husband with a pillow...it's not his fault that he snores...).
Eventually I give up on sleep and get out of bed again...the clock reads 7:30AM...why is it so hard to sleep late on vacation? I wander over to the window expecting to see gloom and pull back the curtains to find...glorious pale blue skies!! And wow, is that sun bright - my eyes hurt - and then I hear Jason: "Natural light! It burns....get it off!!"
There is nothing to do at this point but get cleaned up and go someplace where we can have some fun and burn off the alcoholic residue from last night's dinner.
We decide that this would be a good time to see what all the fuss is about staying on Club level and we mosey on down to the Concierege lounge for a light breakfast (taking a fair amount of advil with us). So, it's a bit crowded but not too bad; We see a beverage station with coffee, tea, juice, and soda; Looks like there are some breakfast breads / rolls on the credenza and cereals and fruit on the main table. I see: this is the over-priced equivalent of the continental breakfast offered at the Hampton Inn.
It doesn't really matter this morning - neither one of us wants much in the way of food. We grab a couple of dried out mini croissants and pick up some fruit, washing it down with some bottled water. About halfway through we both decide that a caffeine boost is in order and we snag some coffee (with half a bag of sugar for me). Not very good coffee, either. Oh well, maybe it's an off day for them, too.
You know what we noticed? Lots of people using the club lounge do not clean up after themselves or their families. I don't understand - there are trash cans placed in strategic places and there are trays for depositing dishes and cups and yet we saw any number of people get up and walk out of the lounge, leaving their table scraps for someone else to clean up. Perhaps I betray my lack of experience in utilizing club level services, but I wasn't under the impression that I was also paying for them to provide table clearing and bus service.
Jason and I are good little plebians and we clean up our table and snag some bottled water on our way out. So far, the best thing about the club lounge is the "free" water.
We've got our walking shoes on today. We each put on sunscreen, but not so much that we wouldn't get some color (after all, you can't come back to Stinktown, I mean St. Louis, from Florida without showing everyone that you've been kissed by the sun), and our sunglasses are cleaned and perched firmly on our respective noses. We walk down to the harbor and over to the boat dock...it must be about 9:30 AM and there aren't too many people hanging about yet and my God does that sun and warmth feel good.
We're headed for Universal Studios today - it's the first time we've been back to this theme park since we visited in 1996 with my two nephews and we really have no idea what to expect when we get there.
The boat ride over to CityWalk is calm and uneventful - it kicks up a nice breeze that helps clear the cobwebs for both of us. Jason pulls out the fancy-schmancy digital camera he bought when we were in St. Thomas last fall so that we can take the first of many "self-portraits" to show everyone back home how much fun we were having while they were toiling at their desks and then he experiences the D'oh! moment of the day: He forgot to unload the memory stick to the laptop last night and we only have room for one picture.
"Son of a b---" Whoa, there buddy! This is a family oriented vacation type place and there are lots of sensitive little ears in close proximity and besides, since when do you swear in public? That's my job - I'm the loud-mouthed, opinionated, swears like a sailor before remembering she's surrounded by people who might be offended to hear that kind of language coming from a conservative looking girl-next-door type.
No big deal - we'll just buy a disposable digital camera when we get to CityWalk. If only I could think this calmly and clearly at work.
Jason says we should buy a better memory stick instead. OK, whatever you say, techno-boy, 'cause all I know about this camera is puch that button, listen for the little chime, point, and push the button again. I am functionally illiterate when it comes to all forms of technology, knowing just enough to be really dangerous.
The ferry disgorges us at CityWalk and we make the brilliant decision to find a shop there that sells camera supplies instead of going to the one that's always just inside any actual theme park after you clear the entrance turnstiles.
We are like salmon swimming upstream. You know why there wasn't anyone at the PBH or HRH boat docks? No one stayed there last night. They all stayed off-property or showed up for the day and they are streaming in through the CityWalk entrance in big clumps of sweaty humanity. We dive into the first shop we see...looks like some nature preserve, and ask the very nice clerk where we can find ourselves some camera supplies. She tells us that there really isn't any place in CityWalk that can accomodate us - we're better off buying something once we get into the park.
Back out into the ocean of humanity where we let the current carry us back over the bridge and to the front entrance of USO. We stop to have our picture taken a couple of times (we're suckers for this) and I verbalize the hope that I didn't ruin all three shots. I'm not fishing for compliments - I have a real talent for screwing up almost any picture I'm part of. I'm that person who blinks at the wrong time, or turns her head at the last second, or ends up with her mouth half open. It's a gift.
We wait in line for about 15 minutes to get into the park - they are scanning people's fingers along with their tickets and this is the first time we've seen this at a theme park (we were just here in October and they weren't doing it then). Guess what? I have one of these finger scan thingies at work - it's how I sign-on to my computer system every day but it doesn't like to read my fingers for some reason so most days I get one of those "cannot authenticate or create key" error messages and I have to default to a manual password. Needless to say, the finger-scan refuses to read my finger at USO. This will cause much theme park admittance hilarity over the next three days.
We're in!! And right there in big bold letters is your friendly neighborhood Kodak store where they do not sell camera supplies. But they do sell cameras, so we suck it up and buy a 27-exposure, waterproof, disposable digital camera. This will carry us through the day and then some, we're sure.
Now the question is: where do we go from here? Why, to get our picture taken another three times! I can tell in advance that these are going to suck big time - we are smiling into the sun for crying out loud. And crying is just about what I was doing...I'm hyper-myopic (in layman's terms that means blind as a bat) and I was wearing my contacts plus the strongest sunglasses I own and the sunlight was still making me squint like Mr. Magoo. I mean it was painful. Later inspection of said pictures would bear me out - both of us were grimacing in all three shots.
We begin walking down the main avenue...Plaza of the Stars...and we spy the Shrek 4D attraction. This looks like a good place to try out the ol' room card / express pass thing and allow our eyes to recover from staring into the sun. We breeze right on into the fast line and are in the lobby / pre-show area faster than you can say ogre. We thought all the Disney spoofs here were a riot and the pre-show jokes were just awful (that's why we liked it so much). Overall we enjoyed this show a lot but did think that it could use some tweaks to make it better - we expected "smell" special effects like they have in Phillharmagic and It's a Bug's Life - but other than that we thought it was a hoot.
From Shrek we wander down into New York - we did the Twister thing back in October during our Horror Nights visit, and quite frankly we felt that once was enough. However, we didn't get to ride the Mummy then because it was being all difficult and disfunctional that night. So we decide that this is our next spot for fun.
Well, listen now to how Brenda tries to be helpful and only ends up making life more difficult. It's why I normally ask Jason if he needs help before I actually do something, but the alcohol buzz must have messed with my muscle memory.
We go over to the free lockers so I can leave my purse and our water bottles. Jason is the one who always scans his prints (I have a feeling it wouldn't want to read mine) so I should have just let him tell me what to do but instead I grabbed a locker, put my stuff in it, and then locked it. He then says, "OK, locker 756."
And I say, "But I just locked my stuff in locker 715."
And he says, "You don't pick your own locker - the computer assigns one to you. How are we supposed to get your stuff out now?"
Jason really doesn't get mad easily, but I can tell he'd like to throttle me right now - or at least trade me in for a less difficult version.
No problem - I tell him to wait by the locker and I go over and find myself a handy USO employee at the front entrance to the ride. This happens all the time - apparently there are lots of wives out there like me who annoy their husbands by trying to be helpful. We get the problem fixed in no time and I morph into the 1950s version of Brenda: "just tell me where to go and what to do, dear. I'll never be helpful again."
Room keys in hand we make it back over to the ride entrance - FOTL is really cool. We walk though the ride queue in less than two minutes and on the ride. This was a blast! Well themed and a lot of fun - I can understand why it's so popular.
When we rescue our stuff from the right locker this time there is a "Blues Brothers" concert going on. We stood around and listened for a bit - they were actually pretty good. We decide to start walking again, just following the streets - the crowds are suprisingly small considering the hordes we saw at the front gate. We can only assume they are somewhere up front or stuck waiting in line at an attraction.
Next stop is San Francisco / Amity... for old times sake we decide to hit the Earthquake ride. It was so much fun! And we remembered the last time we were here, pre-FOTL, when it was the middle of August and the park had only just opened and the lines for each attraction were 45 minutes to an hour. We don't miss those days at all.
After earthquake we head for Jaws, stopping to take a few pictures along the way. I love the way each section of USO is designed to look like a movie set and it's extremely clean - two thumbs up for TLC and upkeep!
We FOTL at Jaws and only have about a 5 minute wait - of course so did everyone else 'cause there was no one there, but that's ok! This ride was a hoot, too! And we got some great pictures of the shark at the end of the ride as he tried to munch on our boat.
Where do we go from here? Looks like we're headed to Men In Black. There is a monster pile up at the locker station, which for this ride is in a really bad location if you ask me. There are also hidden lockers around the corner from the main grouping but you'd never know it because there is no signage for locker goup 7. I'd just like to say thank you to that random British gentleman who pointed Jason and I to this locker grouping, removing us from a decidedly stinky group of patrons wedged into a very small space and reducing our wait time considerably. If I knew who and where you were I'd buy you a pint!
Flashing the FOTL, we make it to the ride again in about 5 minutes. I feel kind of bad for the folks who are standing in the regular line watching all of us scamper past, but then I remember...we did pay for this privilege. We love FOTL and not waiting in line and we will continue to pay for it as long as our income allows us to. However, we do not abuse the privilege - it would never have occurred to us to ride multiple times, especially with people waiting, although we heard that some people were doing just that.
Back to the ride: what a blast! I completely suck at stuff like this and am solely responsible for our car losing to the other - I really brought down the average score.
I also managed to ruin what otherwise would have been a fine souvenier photoe by looking the wrong way when the camera flashed. At least I'm consistent.
We're starting to get hungry but when we check out our map we see that there are only a few more things we want to check out. We're not big show people, so things like Fear Factor or the Beetlejuice review don't do much for us.
We make the potentially pukey mistake of going to Back to the Future next. I remember from our last visit that this was a pretty motion-intense experience, but I've been on the Hulk and Tower of Terror, and other thrill rides of this sort so I figure Back to the Future can't be too bad.
Wrong! Too bumpy, too jerky, too squished in, too hot, too much. I had to close my eyes halfway through and repeat my non-queasy mantra to myself over and over again: "I will not throw up on the stranger in front of me..."
Never again. Even Jason was somewhat discombobulated by this ride. We buy a bottle of water to calm our nerves and decide to go see Terminator before heading over to Margaritaville for lunch. On our way there we almost got run over by the Mystery Machine! Scooby was wedged into the sun roof and Shaggy was driving recklessly all over the place. He waved to us and and I asked where the Scooby Snacks were because we were hungry. He shouted back that he and Scooby had eaten them all and were in such a big hurry because they needed more!!
Best character interaction of the entire day!!
We're a few minutes early for the Terminator so we go poking in the stores looking for Plankton from the Spongebob show. In case you hadn't figured it out by now, Jason and I are pretty goofy. We think Plankton is awesome and have been looking for him for years. If any place on earth should have a Plankton, be it a pin or a stuffed version, we assume it would be USO.
No luck today - there is no Plankton to be found.
Terminator was not as cool as we remembered it to be, but it has been 10 years and it was still fun. On the way out I purchased a mini-cyborg with eyes that light up red...I will pass this along to one of our newer hires at work because I feel like being nice and because I know he will think it is funny.
And now it's time for some chow. We discover that the room key also helps you get a table more quickly (as long as there isn't a massive crowd already waiting). We FOTL at Margaritaville and only have a 10-minute wait for a seat. Jason and I wander around the store but don't buy anything...we just want some food.
Once seated I opt for the Cheesburger in Paradise with a Last Mango in Paris. Jason ordered...Jason ordered...well, he ordered something and he thought it was good and he ate it all but I don't remember what it was because I was too busy sucking down that Mango Margarita (it was served frozen and was it ever tasty). I only had one - I know better than too drink too much in the Florida sun.
Lunch complete, we decide to go back to the hotel to relax. It was our intention to lounge at the pool but I laid down on the bed and was out just like that. The last couple of late nights were catching up with me and with Jason, too, because when I woke up it was 5PM and he was still asleep.
This seemed like a good time to check out the evening offering at the Club Lounge, so we made ourselves presentable and wandered on down. There evening presentation is slated for 5PM - 7PM and we got there at 5:30. It looked like a horde of starving barbarians had descended on the place. Same beverage offerings as before with the change being that there was some beer in a bucket on the credenza and I think I saw a bottle of unchilled wine. The main table held a couple of food trays with some cheese chunks, olives, and something that looked like Pesto sauce. I didn't see bread, I didn't see crackers, I didn't see any meats, and I didn't see any hot offerings at all. What I did see was red, because this was starting to look like the biggest rip-off since the Cardinals decided to buy back unused season ticket holder seats and then sell them to the public at a premium, essentially scalping their own tickets to the people who can't normally get their hands on tickets to a game.
Perhaps my expectations were too high. Perhaps we timed it wrong (again). All I know is that Loews is a pretty pricey hotel chain and when I pay this kind of $$$ for Club Level service and their much touted five daily food presentations I expect more than the local neighborhood card party spread. I mean, I know what concierge offers at the Grand Floridian and it ain't this kind of picked over junk. Two thumbs down - we continue to believe that Club Level is over priced and under performing.
We decided initially to head over to CityWalk for dinner but a wicked cool storm blew in. And I do mean blew. The rain was coming down sideways and we couldn't even see the harbour. I sure felt bad for anyone at CityWalk who might have been waiting for a boat because they were super-soaked within 30 seconds, I'm sure. We took cover in Sal's and ended up ordering a pizza to take back to the room with some Pelligrino.
We ended up having a nice quiet picnic dinner in our room that evening. We tried to go swimming later and were kicked out of the villa pool by the attendants who said it was closed due to the weather (we didn't realize just how threatening those clear night skies could be). Turned out they had to clean up after the storm. Drat! We headed over to the coffee place for some mid-evening cafe mocha and just decided to call it a night.
Back to the room and a little ESPN before falling asleep - we were in Old Folks mode tonight!
Thanks again for reading. Tune in for Day 3 when we make it to IOA, have some quality time at the Villa Pool, try room room service and pay a late night visit to the Hard Rock!
). Other than those 2 minor things, we are very much "vacation doppelgangers!" 
Don't want to miss the next installment - keep 'em coming. I'm really enjoying your trip reports.
glad ur back! 
