What not to do at Disney?

[ratlenhum]

Please don't stare at people with disabilities! This is a general rule, not just for WDW . My DD 11 has autism and is non-verbal but she does tend to make singing sounds and occasionally flap her hands when she is happy (basically whenever she is at Disney ) I understand that this is atypical behavior and people will glance over to see what's up, and I am OK with that. It is when people gauk and stare, make funny faces, whisper and point as if my DD is some kind of freak! SHE IS NOT! I only got the nerve up to say something a few times but the WORST time was waiting in line for Soarin' and as you know that line can be LONG (even with the fast pass) a British girl about 12-14 years old was in front of us and was just looking at my daughter the entire time with a shocked look on her face....she even walked backwards as the line moved and she wouldn't take her eyes off my DD. Then the parents noticed and instead of them correcting their child THEY started to stare too....as if we were all naked and dancing a hoola dance or something. I finally said "it is rude to stare, can you all please face forward!" I also explained that she has autism (this usually either gets people to stop or at least to understand why my DD is doing what she is doing. Sometimes it sparks a conversation...I love to educate people on what autism is so I welcome questions!). My husband has the ability to not let this bother him but it really gets under my skin.

Tina

Tina,
As you know we just got back and had a really great trip,but it was the WORST as far as stares and comments. The older my son gets the more his behaviors/actions/sounds stand out.
Several times I finally said to kids and adults "what are your staring at?" or I'd say "it's called autism and your staring isn't helping."

We had some AMAZING experiences with character interactions and with my son participating in shows. The CMs were WONDERFUL even if I didn't tip them off. I wonder if some just realize that it's autism or if they think he just doesn't speak English when he doesn't answer. We saw Mary Poppins at EPCOT and she just kept talking to my son like he was answering. Finally she asked where his smile was and he pointed to his teeth. Her face lit up like she was so happy she found a way to get him to respond. It was amazing to see.

The guests on the other hand, we had some bad times. By noon today I told my husband I just want to go home. I'm so tired of being stared at and I want to go home to our own some what safe little world.

 

[DisneyMomm]

Tina,
As you know we just got back and had a really great trip,but it was the WORST as far as stares and comments. The older my son gets the more his behaviors/actions/sounds stand out.
Several times I finally said to kids and adults "what are your staring at?" or I'd say "it's called autism and your staring isn't helping."

We had some AMAZING experiences with character interactions and with my son participating in shows. The CMs were WONDERFUL even if I didn't tip them off. I wonder if some just realize that it's autism or if they think he just doesn't speak English when he doesn't answer. We saw Mary Poppins at EPCOT and she just kept talking to my son like he was answering. Finally she asked where his smile was and he pointed to his teeth. Her face lit up like she was so happy she found a way to get him to respond. It was amazing to see.

The guests on the other hand, we had some bad times. By noon today I told my husband I just want to go home. I'm so tired of being stared at and I want to go home to our own some what safe little world.

That's terrible that people were acting like that. You gotta wonder about some people out there... were they raised by wolves for cring out loud. It's a shame when other people's rude actions make you glad to be leaving Disney. I know your trip was tainted because of it, but I hope at least your little boy didn't realize what other people were doing and still had the best time of his life.

 

[cuches]

Tina,
As you know we just got back and had a really great trip,but it was the WORST as far as stares and comments. The older my son gets the more his behaviors/actions/sounds stand out.
Several times I finally said to kids and adults "what are your staring at?" or I'd say "it's called autism and your staring isn't helping."

We had some AMAZING experiences with character interactions and with my son participating in shows. The CMs were WONDERFUL even if I didn't tip them off. I wonder if some just realize that it's autism or if they think he just doesn't speak English when he doesn't answer. We saw Mary Poppins at EPCOT and she just kept talking to my son like he was answering. Finally she asked where his smile was and he pointed to his teeth. Her face lit up like she was so happy she found a way to get him to respond. It was amazing to see.

The guests on the other hand, we had some bad times. By noon today I told my husband I just want to go home. I'm so tired of being stared at and I want to go home to our own some what safe little world.

So glad you had a great trip but I totally understand about the staring! The CM are AMAZING at Disney...we had a beautiful experience with Daisy Duck at MK once. NOBODY was waiting to see her so I thought it was the perfect time to get DD to see a character without having to wait. Daisy noticed right away that DD was "different" and she was so sweat and gentle with our DD. I started to cry. It was one of the most touching experiences we ever had at WDW!

We did have some great experiences with other disney visitors and many times after people found out that our DD has autism they would tell me stories of their cousin-nephew-neighbor (seems like EVERYONE is effected by autism these days ). But too many times we had to deal with the awkward stares or the worst is hearing people say "why are THEY using "handicap" entrance or seating for parade..that is not fair". I want to scream and say having a child that cannot speak due to autism is what is not fair...mind your own damn business! I try to ignore but it ain't easy

 

[cuches]

Ok, so since we're rehashing the BF issue again, I'll add my 2 cents again. Although I agree BF is a natural thing, along with all the other other natural things we do, it also comes with the obligation of following some social rules. There are some cultures that allow women to go uncovered and think nothing of it(I'm not talking about topless beaches). However, in this society women are expected to not expose themselves in public. We choose to live in this society because it's benefits outway it's disadvantages. I'm onboard with the fact that a mother has to feed her child, and shouldn't have to go to a dirty bathroom. However, it should be done with discretion. She knows she is going to have to feed a child, and so therefore she is the one that should be prepared. Wear clothing that will allow the child to be fed with the least amount of exposure. As most people have already said, most mothers are modest and do there best to not expose themselves unnessesarily. That is all I ask for. BF were you need to, but do it with class and follow the social rules of the society you live in. There are those mothers who choose to BF in a way that is almost a dare to the rest of society to say something. There are instances of women who are quite comfortable exposing themselves way longer than they need to before or after they have fed the baby, and then want to use the fact that they are BF as their "I can do whatever I want" card. These are the women I have a problem with. I think for most people it has never been about a mother BF, is is about the exibitionists. Now for those that say, BF is natural and nobody should tell a BF mother she needs to be discreet because it is only a baby eating.... I respectfully disagree. When that child get's older, and is eating in a restaurant, it will still be a natural thing of a child eating, and yet you will expect that that child has been taught our society's rules and maners for eating in public. You will expect that child to sit in their chair, and eat with utensils (not shovel it in with their hands), and not chew with their mouth open, or not talk with their mouth full. So why when a child is older and eating do we expect them to follow society's rules about what is considered polite and respectful of others, and yet you would say that just because a mother is breastfeeding and it is a baby eating, that any consideration for being polite to the rest of society does not apply?

Wouldn't it be great if Disney had those family rooms near the bathrooms (not IN the bathrooms) where parents can feed their babies in privacy and in comfort. Not just BF but just a quiet, air conditioned place where even the dad can bottle feed his baby. I remember the Babies-R-Us by me used to have a room that was very cozy with reclining arm chairs and soft lamps (looked like anyones livingroom) and it was for this purpose.

 

[livndisney]

Wouldn't it be great if Disney had those family rooms near the bathrooms (not IN the bathrooms) where parents can feed their babies in privacy and in comfort. Not just BF but just a quiet, air conditioned place where even the dad can bottle feed his baby. I remember the Babies-R-Us by me used to have a room that was very cozy with reclining arm chairs and soft lamps (looked like anyones livingroom) and it was for this purpose.

Each park HAS a babycare center with "living room" type nursing rooms.

 

[skiingfast]

When you are going to a park from your resort later in the day, don't stant in front of the doors waiting for them to open. Stand back and give some room to people getting off the bus.

 

[ratlenhum]

That's terrible that people were acting like that. You gotta wonder about some people out there... were they raised by wolves for cring out loud. It's a shame when other people's rude actions make you glad to be leaving Disney. I know your trip was tainted because of it, but I hope at least your little boy didn't realize what other people were doing and still had the best time of his life.

He hears and understands more than we realize because it could be days, weeks or months later, he'll say something that floors you.

There was this one man that kept staring at my son with disgust in The Plaza. He even repositioned himself in his chair so that his back was to my son. I went to use the restrooms and when I came back and walked past the man he said "in my country we drown children like that." I looked him dead in the eye and said "F U" (but used the whole words, not loudly and no children heard. It was just him and another man at his table.) and sat down. I held back anger and tears because had my husband heard that he would have gotten up and killed the man. I keep trying to forget it but once in a while I picture that ugly little man's face and my blood boils again.

 

[maxiesmom]

He hears and understands more than we realize because it could be days, weeks or months later, he'll say something that floors you.

There was this one man that kept staring at my son with disgust in The Plaza. He even repositioned himself in his chair so that his back was to my son. I went to use the restrooms and when I came back and walked past the man he said "in my country we drown children like that." I looked him dead in the eye and said "F U" (but used the whole words, not loudly and no children heard. It was just him and another man at his table.) and sat down. I held back anger and tears because had my husband heard that he would have gotten up and killed the man. I keep trying to forget it but once in a while I picture that ugly little man's face and my blood boils again.

I honestly don't know how you kept yourself from punching that man in the face. That is beyond sick. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that thing in a man's suit.

 

[ratlenhum]

I honestly don't know how you kept yourself from punching that man in the face. That is beyond sick. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that thing in a man's suit.

I know in my heart that some day, people like that will get theirs. Knowing what my husband would have done is what stopped me. My husband would have beat the man until he was dragged off. He would have gotten arrested and he wouldn't have cared. But my husband is a cop and in the long run he'd lose his job for something like that. So I had to hold back, shut my mouth, clench my fists and know that it just wasn't worth it. I'm not going to let one hurtful person ruin my trip, or my family's entire future.

What bothers me more is when kids make a face or a signal their parent to point out my son or a kid like him and the parent makes a face and shakes their head too. Kids are kids, but parents should say something. It's the perfect opportunity to say one or two sentances to your child about some people being different. In 30 seconds you can make a statement that can teach a child something for life. Most parents don't.

We tried so hard to spread the magic this trip. I brought Disney silly bands and my kid shared them at parades and shows. Same thing with glow bracelets. When we'd use our GAC, we'd also get a regular fast pass. If a line was 15-20 mins or less we'd wait on it, longer, we'd use the fast pass or the GAC. Whenever we had FPs we were not going to use, we'd hand them off to people. We were at AK and on our way to a show. A little girl fell right in front of us on the path by ITTBAB. We could have just kept walking like everyone else. I stopped, gave the mom a wipe, dug out antibacterial wipes and gave her band aids for her daughter's bleeding knee. I pack everything in my backpack in ziplocks, and always bring a few extra. We were on Kali and the guy next to me was complaining to his wife that he just got a new phone after she lost the old one and it was going to get all wet. Once I realized (without obviously eavesdropping) what their issue was I offered them a gallon ziplock. They were so grateful and another unrelated woman on our raft also threw stuff in it.

We tried to always be polite, friendly, helpful, share the magic, and keep good Kharma. We did get it back from CMs, had a few character photo ops fall in our laps, and had a few good surprises. I guess no matter what you do you just can't keep people from being jerks. It won't stop me from going back and it won't stop me from doing all the nice things we tried to do last time.

 

[DisneyMomm]

He hears and understands more than we realize because it could be days, weeks or months later, he'll say something that floors you.

There was this one man that kept staring at my son with disgust in The Plaza. He even repositioned himself in his chair so that his back was to my son. I went to use the restrooms and when I came back and walked past the man he said "in my country we drown children like that." I looked him dead in the eye and said "F U" (but used the whole words, not loudly and no children heard. It was just him and another man at his table.) and sat down. I held back anger and tears because had my husband heard that he would have gotten up and killed the man. I keep trying to forget it but once in a while I picture that ugly little man's face and my blood boils again.

Maybe you should have said "in this country we drown men like you". What a pathetic little man!! Don't worry, Carma baby ... Carma. With morals like that, he'll get his somewhere down the line of his pityful, narrowminded little life.

 

[DisneyMomm]

And the fact that you are so thoughtful to other human beings is probably the reason God chose you to be the mother of your son. What more could a special needs child ask for than a mother who knows the value of showing kindness and goodwill to others. He was given to you because he would be in special hands.

 

[maxiesmom]

And the fact that you are so thoughtful to other human beings is probably the reason God chose you to be the mother of your son. What more could a special needs child ask for than a mother who knows the value of showing kindness and goodwill to others. He was given to you because he would be in special hands.

Well said!!!

 

[NaLisa]

He hears and understands more than we realize because it could be days, weeks or months later, he'll say something that floors you.

There was this one man that kept staring at my son with disgust in The Plaza. He even repositioned himself in his chair so that his back was to my son. I went to use the restrooms and when I came back and walked past the man he said "in my country we drown children like that." I looked him dead in the eye and said "F U" (but used the whole words, not loudly and no children heard. It was just him and another man at his table.) and sat down. I held back anger and tears because had my husband heard that he would have gotten up and killed the man. I keep trying to forget it but once in a while I picture that ugly little man's face and my blood boils again.

I'm absolutely shocked that any human being would think/behave that way toward another person, but especially to a child at WDW. Someone that ignorant doesn't deserve another thought or second of your time, so please try to put him out of your mind (easier said than done, I'm sure.) Despite this awful situation and some of the other things I've read on these boards, I still believe in the basic decency and kindness of most people. I hope that awful man didn't take that away from you.

 

[bobbiekins]

I have been reading this thread with a lot of interest for the last two days and I must say I am surprised at the intolerance of some. Disney World is known for being the place kids with chronic illnesses or life threatening illnesses wishes to go. So when you see someone using a stroller that is 13 my first reaction would be wow, he must have some kind of medical issue. However, tolerance is learned by experience and I for one hope none of the non-tolerant people have to learn it that way. My youngest, Alianna, has had serious medical issues due to an incurable condition she has had. This thread brings to mind when an organization called Casey Cares sent us to Williamsburg for a few days. We were at Busch Gardens and had used the handicapped access. When you use that access you get put on the ride next. I had seen people staring at Alianna, whispering, and everything but I ignored them because in all honesty Alianna looks fine. She can run, jump, play, etc. Well it wasn't until one lady got out of line, entered the ride area, stomped over to my kid, got right in my face and started screaming at me : "She isn't disabled. Why don't you quit abusing the system and wait in line like everyone else. God do you abuse welfare to?" I lost it. I didn't yell at her, I just lifted Alianna's shirt and showed her all the tubes running out of her that were taped up for the day so she could ride. The lady did have the decency to apologize and looked really embarrassed and tried to make excuses. I just ignored her and put my daughter on the ride. I was told later the ride attendant asked her to leave but it ruined the whole day. I was so upset over it. I hoped she learned that looks can be deceiving, however I am not nice now. I will tell you to mind your own business in a heartbeat. We will be using a wheel chair for Alianna at Disney World because she can't walk for long periods. So if you see her in it and think to yourself wow, she is abusing this, that, or the other then please keep those thoughts to yourself until you walk in her shoes.

 

[csharpwv]

The ONLY time I wonder at healthy looking people in wheelchairs is when I see a family rotate through the same wheelchair throughout the day. You see one child in the wheelchair at one attraction, the next child in the wheelchair at the next attraction, and then the adults start taking their turn. Then later in the day you see the family - as healthy as can be walking out of the park! You REALLY have to wonder about that.

My Mom uses a wheelchair 100% of the time - the last time they went with us we rented an ECV from an outside company, and she wanted to ride the train to the front of the park from Toontown - just to get to ride the train -but they can't accommodate ECV's on the train - so I had to drive the scooter to the front of the park to meet them at the train station.

I don't know why anyone would choose to rent an ECV if it were not medically necessary. They are very hard to handle around SO MANY people. I think Disney should build an ECV training facility - and all operators should have to earn a WDW ECV Operators License! They can be dangerous!
Plus people will run in front of you, they will stop in front of you, and they will literally back right into you with their hind-quarters in your face - SO rude! Some people have NO clue what it is like for an individual with a disability.

So I always yield to scooters, wheelchairs, and open doors for wheelchairs and strollers.

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

Heres one example of something not to do at Disney: Back in 2008 when I went to Disney in the summer months, actually was when tropical storm Fay had ripped through the sunshine state. There were a lot of people complaining about the weather because it was rainy and stormy out, and that there were no rides or anything they could go on or do because of the weather. So they were just non stop complaining that they were not having any fun at all. Everyone in the parks were wet and many people made the best of it. Add to that it was on a day when we went to Magic Kingdom and did the park in 4 hours and many of the rides were walk ons, and we were able to ride popular ones like space mountain several times with no wait. Its called you are in Disney World, there is plenty to do regardless of the weather, add to that it is a tropical state that sees hurricanes and other tropical weather.

Case in point if you go to Disney in the summer its going to be hot, everyone around you will be hot and sweaty. If it rains, everyone is going to get wet to some degree. So its just best to be prepared for the weather and not complain about it. Have fun! You are in Disney World with parks that are designed to suit all sorts of weather with both indoor and outdoor rides. Make use of both.

 

[cuches]

Each park HAS a babycare center with "living room" type nursing rooms.

Wow, never saw ANY and we visited just about EVERY bathroom in each park

 

[cuches]

I know in my heart that some day, people like that will get theirs. Knowing what my husband would have done is what stopped me. My husband would have beat the man until he was dragged off. He would have gotten arrested and he wouldn't have cared. But my husband is a cop and in the long run he'd lose his job for something like that. So I had to hold back, shut my mouth, clench my fists and know that it just wasn't worth it. I'm not going to let one hurtful person ruin my trip, or my family's entire future.

What bothers me more is when kids make a face or a signal their parent to point out my son or a kid like him and the parent makes a face and shakes their head too. Kids are kids, but parents should say something. It's the perfect opportunity to say one or two sentances to your child about some people being different. In 30 seconds you can make a statement that can teach a child something for life. Most parents don't.

We tried so hard to spread the magic this trip. I brought Disney silly bands and my kid shared them at parades and shows. Same thing with glow bracelets. When we'd use our GAC, we'd also get a regular fast pass. If a line was 15-20 mins or less we'd wait on it, longer, we'd use the fast pass or the GAC. Whenever we had FPs we were not going to use, we'd hand them off to people. We were at AK and on our way to a show. A little girl fell right in front of us on the path by ITTBAB. We could have just kept walking like everyone else. I stopped, gave the mom a wipe, dug out antibacterial wipes and gave her band aids for her daughter's bleeding knee. I pack everything in my backpack in ziplocks, and always bring a few extra. We were on Kali and the guy next to me was complaining to his wife that he just got a new phone after she lost the old one and it was going to get all wet. Once I realized (without obviously eavesdropping) what their issue was I offered them a gallon ziplock. They were so grateful and another unrelated woman on our raft also threw stuff in it.

We tried to always be polite, friendly, helpful, share the magic, and keep good Kharma. We did get it back from CMs, had a few character photo ops fall in our laps, and had a few good surprises. I guess no matter what you do you just can't keep people from being jerks. It won't stop me from going back and it won't stop me from doing all the nice things we tried to do last time.

OMG, I am just in tears at what that man said to you. I actually had a FAMILY member once say to me that "Hitler was right" referring to people with disabilities. Talk about being beyond shocked. That family member has since appologized but the sting of that statement will never go away....horrible statement, but to come from a member of your family is something I can't get over. My daughter is the BEST thing to ever happen to me and nobody can take that from me....not a stranger or family. She has taught me love, patience and above all acceptance. I understand how your DH would have hurt that man for saying what he did and you have unbelievable courage and stregth to keep that to yourself knowing what his reaction might be.

On the flip side, you are so awesome to think of others like that...helping the little girl and giving a simple thing like a ziplock to save the day means so much. I bet those people will always remember the friendly "savior" of the day! I remember once when in the Bahama's my DH and I got stuck in a horrific rain storm waiting for the bus to take us back to our hotel (on the other side of the island) and the bus never showed. We waited and were drenched and didn't know what to do....no cabs anywhere. This young lady with her young son in the car stopped and asked why we were waiting in the rain, she had been watching us and passed us twice in her car because she was concerned (it was late at night too) We said we were waiting for the bus and she giggled and said the busses don't run in the rain! What kind of bus system is that???? My DH and I looked at each other like what are we gonna do now?!??! This woman took two drenched vacationers all the way to the other side of the island back to our hotel with no questions asked. I never saw such hospitality in my life. We soaked her back seat and she went all that way out of her way for strangers and refused to take money from us! I never forgot that unbelievable gesture and ever since I try to pass along that kindness. I bet the people you helped will do the same....spread the sunshine!

Tina

 

[cuches]

Disney World is known for being the place kids with chronic illnesses or life threatening illnesses wishes to go. So when you see someone using a stroller that is 13 my first reaction would be wow, he must have some kind of medical issue. However, tolerance is learned by experience and I for one hope none of the non-tolerant people have to learn it that way. My youngest, Alianna, has had serious medical issues due to an incurable condition she has had. This thread brings to mind when an organization called Casey Cares sent us to Williamsburg for a few days. We were at Busch Gardens and had used the handicapped access. When you use that access you get put on the ride next. I had seen people staring at Alianna, whispering, and everything but I ignored them because in all honesty Alianna looks fine. She can run, jump, play, etc. Well it wasn't until one lady got out of line, entered the ride area, stomped over to my kid, got right in my face and started screaming at me : "She isn't disabled. Why don't you quit abusing the system and wait in line like everyone else. God do you abuse welfare to?" I lost it. I didn't yell at her, I just lifted Alianna's shirt and showed her all the tubes running out of her that were taped up for the day so she could ride. The lady did have the decency to apologize and looked really embarrassed and tried to make excuses. I just ignored her and put my daughter on the ride. I was told later the ride attendant asked her to leave but it ruined the whole day. I was so upset over it. I hoped she learned that looks can be deceiving, however I am not nice now. I will tell you to mind your own business in a heartbeat. We will be using a wheel chair for Alianna at Disney World because she can't walk for long periods. So if you see her in it and think to yourself wow, she is abusing this, that, or the other then please keep those thoughts to yourself until you walk in her shoes.

Unbelievable! It amazes me that people would get that upset that they would make a fool of themselves and say stupid things. I understand there are people out there that may abuse the system (like the story of the family rotating in and out of the wheelchair) but for the most part people don't want to be in that wheelchair or need to use to "handicapped" entrance. If people just minded their own business and stop worrying about what others are doing the world would be a better place. Shame on that woman for not appologizing but perhaps she learned a lesson of civility that day and never did something dumb like that again!

Tina

 

[wdwpirates]

He hears and understands more than we realize because it could be days, weeks or months later, he'll say something that floors you.

There was this one man that kept staring at my son with disgust in The Plaza. He even repositioned himself in his chair so that his back was to my son. I went to use the restrooms and when I came back and walked past the man he said "in my country we drown children like that." I looked him dead in the eye and said "F U" (but used the whole words, not loudly and no children heard. It was just him and another man at his table.) and sat down. I held back anger and tears because had my husband heard that he would have gotten up and killed the man. I keep trying to forget it but once in a while I picture that ugly little man's face and my blood boils again.

I applaud you for the way you handled the situation. I don't have kids but I probably would have mauled the man. Don't worry, that nasty man will get his!