WWYD? Neighbor smoking weed

[disykat]

I'm really surprised by all the people who think "shut the window" is a palatable solution. I'm guessing they all have central air?

For us, shutting the window would mean no temperature control. If it was summer, we would also have to go through the rigamarole of removing the 2nd story window air conditioner in order to shut it, which involves two people, a very tall ladder, and a lot of cussing.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I would call law enforcement

That would definitely escalate a situation that probably doesn’t need to be taken that far. Not to mention, I doubt the police would make that kind if call a priority.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

This has absolutely nothing do do with whether it's legal or not. ????

Yeah, it t kind of does, because if he has a card, he can get pretty darn upset because she's impeding of his legal pain relief, and then the whole neighborly discussion can go south.....real quick.

 

[anneboleyn]

If it were me, I would bring it up in a friendly way but kind of play dumb, if that makes sense...like I wouldn’t say anything about it being pot, I would ask if he has noticed any smells out there at night because your daughter thinks there have been skunks roaming around. Then maybe they will feel like they dodged a bullet and will resume their activities elsewhere, and your daughter will get to keep her window open.

Maybe that’s naive of me to think that would work out, but that’s the route I would take

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Honestly OP... You’re the only one here with even a hint of an idea of how your neighbor might react. I have similar relationships with mine and I can predict how they would react if I were to be in your situation. If you think they’d be receptive to your concerns then address it.

 

[cabanafrau]

If it were me, I would bring it up in a friendly way but kind of play dumb, if that makes sense...like I wouldn’t say anything about it being pot, I would ask if he has noticed any smells out there at night because your daughter thinks there have been skunks roaming around. Then maybe they will feel like they dodged a bullet and will resume their activities elsewhere, and your daughter will get to keep her window open.

Maybe that’s naive of me to think that would work out, but that’s the route I would take

In our neighborhood inquiring about skunks will probably result in the neighbor actually thinking about if they have or haven't noticed any potential four-legged skunks roaming around recently. Skunks have become a nuisance in our area, and from what I understand many areas of the country are experiencing the same thing.

 

[disykat]

Yeah, it t kind of does, because if he has a card, he can get pretty darn upset because she's impeding of his legal pain relief, and then the whole neighborly discussion can go south.....real quick.

Oh, I get it. Because someone who was not neighborly wouldn't care that he was bothering his neighbors and probably wouldn't be willing to move to a different part of the property.

 

[anneboleyn]

In our neighborhood inquiring about skunks will probably result in the neighbor actually thinking about if they have or haven't noticed any potential four-legged skunks roaming around recently. Skunks have become a nuisance in our area, and from what I understand many areas of the country are experiencing the same thing.

Just a suggestion

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Oh, I get it. Because someone who was not neighborly wouldn't care that he was bothering his neighbors and probably wouldn't be willing to move to a different part of the property.

Yes, exactly. I know you're being sarcastic, but nonetheless, you're right. I can pretty much bet he won't take kindly to it.

 

[kimblebee]

Personally I wouldn’t want to stir up trouble. You just never know these days what people will do if they decide to retaliate. Not worth it. Much easier to mind my own business and either keep the window closed or use a fan. Too many crazy nuts out there.

Not picking on you, just chose you to quote.

I think fear is a reason there are a variety of responses. If I was in this situation it would never cross my mind that if I spoke to the neighbour it would possibly result in retaliation or danger or someone being crazy. It just wouldn’t. I would hate to have to live life that way, basing my actions and reactions on how it might come back to haunt me.

I'm really surprised by all the people who think "shut the window" is a palatable solution. I'm guessing they all have central air?

For us, shutting the window would mean no temperature control. If it was summer, we would also have to go through the rigamarole of removing the 2nd story window air conditioner in order to shut it, which involves two people, a very tall ladder, and a lot of cussing.

Same here. We don’t have central air and in the summer we get about six weeks where temps are in the 40°C range with the humidity. Closing windows and getting no air flow would be stifling, even with fans.

 

[starry_solo]

Talk to the neighbor, not in an accusatory tone or anything, but let him know that smoke and other smells waft into your child's bedroom and see if they can limit the smoking outdoors in a different area in the evening.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If she has another window on a different wall, I'd open that one, and blow a fan out the window on the neighbor's side (if the noise doesn't bother your DD.)

 

[disykat]

Except for rare occasions, maybe a BBQ, a fall burn pile, or you moved in next door to a restaurant, feed lot, or pulp mill - your neighbors should not have to smell you from inside their homes. I don't see how anyone can find this acceptable.

 

[barkley]

i honestly don't think active weed smokers realize how the aroma wafts. dh sure doesn't (he had a valid med mj card before recreational became legal here)-he would smoke it in the garage but the smell grosses me out so he smokes it down a good distance from the garage but i can still smell it even if i didn't know he 'sparked up'. i'm SO glad he gets better results from cbd edibles and drops now that they are readily available.

if it's not a contentious relationship then i don't see why they would be upset if you just mentioned that 'hey, i'm sure you don't realize it but when you smoke in your garage it's going into my kid's window-any chance you could change locations?'. simple as that. if they don't then put up a fan or get into a knock down drag out fight-whatever floats your boat.

 

[BLAZEY]

The onus is on the smoker to keep the smoke from wafting into the neighbours house, whether legal or illegal, pot or cigarette. I would politely let the neighbour know that smoke is getting into your child's room at night. They should be happy that they came to you first without escalating to calling law enforcement. Smoking Pot is legal here for recreation, it is not legal to smoke where it can enter any building other than you own. (and if you have kids in you home, you can't smoke in there either).

 

[PerfessorZ]

When somebody lets me know my fly is down or I have food stuck between my teeth, I don’t get angry with them, I thank them for their honesty.

I don’t see why approaching the neighbor in a friendly way and letting him know the situation would suddenly devolve into a blood feud requiring police intervention. Most people are reasonable, and doubly so for the ‘stoners’ I’ve known in my life.

 

[waltonmkb]

Can you fib a little and say your DD has asthma and the smoke has been irritating to her?

 

[cinnaminny]

I live in Oregon and its totally legal to smoke weed here. HOWEVER, if someone was constantly blowing it into my kids room, I would be concerned. But I don't know that there is anything you can do. What if they were heavy smokers, I have lived above heavy smokers in an apartment and I was never able to use my patio because they were constantly smoking. Maybe talk to the pot smoker and see if there is anything he can do to help the situation. Or just keep your central air on and avoid it all together.

 

[disykat]

Can you fib a little and say your DD has asthma and the smoke has been irritating to her?

You honestly think that would matter to someone who didn't care if the smell was bothersome? (I won't even go into how doing that just makes people even MORE likely to believe asthma and allergies are just a made up excuse people use.)

 

[barkley]

You honestly think that would matter to someone who didn't care if the smell was bothersome?

if no one has talked to the guy he may not realize it's bothering anyone. LOTS of people don't permit smoking or vaping of any type in their homes (myself included) so people go outside or in the garage-he may think the smell is contained within the garage or at worst dissipating before it leaves the property.

i don't get from what the op has posted that there's any reason to assume-

the guy is ignoring the discomfort of others,

doing it purposefully,

going to have an over the top, revenge creating reaction.

sounds like there's a decent preexisting neighborly relationship (op's family does stuff for the neighbor's house, neighbor makes the effort to keep their tree that hangs over op's fence in check) so i think it's sad to immediately assume the worst in what may be perfectly reasonable, nice people.