WWYD - Neighbor's Fence/Kids in our Yard (super irritated)

[usnuzuloose]

Some times you do what you need to do. I am curious as to why you have not gone over when the parents are home. Then if the parents wont keep them out , or put the fence back up, I would put it up so the issue stops.

 

[sunshinehighway]

It's not an excuse, but why do the kids like playing in your yard and not theirs? Also, if you don't have a fence currently, how do you have a side gate?

The gate needs to be repaired.

The kids shouldn't be in your yard, but I'm not understanding some things.

Yeah I don't understand either. If the kids are using the gate (using it so much it broke) then wouldn't fixing the gate and putting a lock on it keep them out? If they are getting in because there's no fence, why are they using the gate?

 

[mamamary]

Yeah I don't understand either. If the kids are using the gate (using it so much it broke) then wouldn't fixing the gate and putting a lock on it keep them out? If they are getting in because there's no fence, why are they using the gate?

I can't picture this either.

 

[mjkacmom]

I need clarification too. However, if you are starting a family, you are going to want a fenced in yard eventually.

 

[sam_gordon]

I need clarification too. However, if you are starting a family, you are going to want a fenced in yard eventually.

I disagree with this. We've been a "family" for 19 years now. I've never wanted a fenced in yard.

 

[Hikergirl]

I need clarification too. However, if you are starting a family, you are going to want a fenced in yard eventually.

My kids have never had a fenced in yard, 99.9% of the homes in my subdivision do not have not any fences.

OP, unfortunately the only way to ensure the kids stay out of your yard is to bite the bullet and pay for a fence to be installed. In some cases neighbors are understanding and pay for half, and make sure their kids stay in their own yard but for you that probably isn't going to happen.

Another thing you could do is use landscaping as a natural fence. Not sure what your HOA rules or if it would cost just as much or more as a fence but it may be worth looking into.

 

[HarperLeigh]

I disagree with this. We've been a "family" for 19 years now. I've never wanted a fenced in yard.

We've never wanted or had a fenced in yard.

 

[HarperLeigh]

My kids have never had a fenced in yard, 99.9% of the homes in my subdivision do not have not any fences.

OP, unfortunately the only way to ensure the kids stay out of your yard is to bite the bullet and pay for a fence to be installed. In some cases neighbors are understanding and pay for half, and make sure their kids stay in their own yard but for you that probably isn't going to happen.

Another thing you could do is use landscaping as a natural fence. Not sure what your HOA rules or if it would cost just as much or more as a fence but it may be worth looking into.

We have about 60 houses in our subdivision. Two of them have chain link fences (only thing allowed here) and they were installed because the owners have dogs.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Arrange to get that fence put up.
Tell the parents, just point blank, that you do not want anyone in your yard.

You can't hemmm and hawwww and tap-dance around this.
You can't expect anyone else to care about your personal boundaries... (both literally and figuratively)

You have to 'own' this.

If the parents are just never home, then that is a part of the problem that you have no control over. You can't do anything about tthat. Putting up a fence... and, yes, even a lock on the gate if there will be a gate... are things that you can, and should, do.

 

[mjkacmom]

Interesting, I don't know anyone with kids who doesn't have a fence here. Lots are small, and I'd be nervous of someone escaping, or someone coming into the yard when they were older and out there alone.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I've always taken the hit on fencing costs due to keeping my dog & children safe .

This. Just bite the bullet and take care of the fence yourself. It will make you look generous and this should end the problem.

Don't say that. Tell them you don't want them in your yard if that is the core of the issue.

Exactly. Any non-truth will be obvious.

I'm sure it would stop things quickly. This has only been going on for a few days - I'm admittedly probably overreacting. I just don't want this to stay a habit. We have no school till Monday because of Hurricane Irma and I'm hoping that when they go back to school, this stops. BUT, I don't want to let it become a thing. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and do not want them in my yard when we have a child (his room is right by the gate they broke). Or now. They're irritating.

Their parents are jerks as it is and I don't want beef with them. During hurricane prep, they sent a worker over and told him to collect our ladder. He said "the lady told me I could use your ladder." I was like "What lady?!" Apparently the owner said to the worker "go borrow their ladder." Like ***.

Hoping to install a new gate with a lock this weekend then see what happens. From there, fence, I guess. If I was more confrontational, I should just call the cops but I am trying to be as calm as possible.

It's ok. You're pregnant and life isn't quite back to normal yet due to the storm. As for the ladder...well, some people have unbelievable nerve. Fence them off!

I disagree with this. We've been a "family" for 19 years now. I've never wanted a fenced in yard.

I grew up on a postage stamp lot where fences or some sort of tree line made life easier. I'm now on an interior lot with no need for a fence. It really depends on the situation and I think it comes down to how many kids are in the neighborhood. There were a ton of kids in my hood growing up so it was like one big yard, but once we hit middle school and teen years we weren't playing outside as much and everyone got their privacy back.

 

[Hikergirl]

Interesting, I don't know anyone with kids who doesn't have a fence here. Lots are small, and I'd be nervous of someone escaping, or someone coming into the yard when they were older and out there alone.

When they were small they weren't left out unsupervised. I'm not sure how old you mean but my kids were allowed to walk or ride their bikes to their friends houses by age 9. No point in fencing people out of my yard if my kids were allowed to be outside of it.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Arrange to get that fence put up.
Tell the parents, just point blank, that you do not want anyone in your yard.

You can't hemmm and hawwww and tap-dance around this.
You can't expect anyone else to care about your personal boundaries... (both literally and figuratively)

You have to 'own' this.

If the parents are just never home, then that is a part of the problem that you have no control over. You can't do anything about tthat. Putting up a fence... and, yes, even a lock on the gate if there will be a gate... are things that you can, and should, do.

Maybe I missed something, but I'm confused as to why there is a gate between their properties.

 

[sam_gordon]

Interesting, I don't know anyone with kids who doesn't have a fence here. Lots are small, and I'd be nervous of someone escaping, or someone coming into the yard when they were older and out there alone.

"Escaping"? Would you not be watching them? As far as someone coming into the yard, obviously you do what you feel you need to do, but I'm not one to worry about a minuscule chance of something bad happening. As PP mentioned, we let our kids walk to friends houses. They walk around a park on their own. What good will a fence do then?

 

[cluvsdisney]

How did the talk with the parents go? I would ask the parents to tell their kids to stay out of your yard and try to get an ETA on when they will be repairing their fence. I would also tells the kids they are not allowed to play in your yard when they go back there uninvited.

I don't think not having a fence is an invitation to use your property.

 

[Wishing on a star]

If I were the OP, I probably would not replace that gate.
But, it is more common than one might think.
I know several people who have great relationships with their neighbors, watch each others pets, children of a common age play together.. and even if there are not gates, there are cut-thrus/walkways in the landscaping bushes, etc..
I am thinking that this fencing and gate were there before the OP, and possibly the neighbors as well.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't think not having a fence is an invitation to use your property.

I agree!
However, there are many many people who do not think that way, and assume otherwise.

 

[mjkacmom]

"Escaping"? Would you not be watching them? As far as someone coming into the yard, obviously you do what you feel you need to do, but I'm not one to worry about a minuscule chance of something bad happening. As PP mentioned, we let our kids walk to friends houses. They walk around a park on their own. What good will a fence do then?

When they were little, I'd run into the house to use the bathroom, gets drinks, make a cup of coffee. I was a SAHM to 5, I'm not dragging them all in and out of the house all day! It was a giant playpen with a sandbox, playset, playhouse, ride on toys - my landscaper actally thought I ran a daycare! My back yard backs up to a street, so no, having several toddlers playing a foot away from a street wouldn't be comfortable. I let my kids walk to school starting in 2nd grade, I'm not overprotective, but when they were little, backyard or front porch (I had a gate).

But here, I'm going to say 90% of homes have fences.

 

[SharonZ]

I understand not wanting/needing a fence, but I have one to keep things out also. Loose dogs, unwanted guests, etc. I'm not sure I would have wasted my breath telling the kids anything, they have a tendency of misinterpreting information - "She said we can play there anytime we want."

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Invisible electric dog fence & collars for the kids.