WWYD - Neighbor's Fence/Kids in our Yard (super irritated)

[Boardwalk Jedi]

"Escaping"? Would you not be watching them? As far as someone coming into the yard, obviously you do what you feel you need to do, but I'm not one to worry about a minuscule chance of something bad happening. As PP mentioned, we let our kids walk to friends houses. They walk around a park on their own. What good will a fence do then?

My youngest was an escape artist between the ages 2-3. I couldn't put anything in the oven without him walking out the back slider, no matter how locked, wedged or barricaded it was. We ended up putting an alarm on the door and sticking a wedge in the top. After dealing with that, I don't judge people who have little Houdini's on their hands.

Like in this case, fences can be great for dealing (or not dealing) with the back or side neighbors. You don't necessarily need to gate off the front yard. That's what I had and looking back, it was perfect.

 

[mjkacmom]

My youngest was an escape artist between the ages 2-3. I couldn't put anything in the oven without him walking out the back slider, no matter how locked, wedged or barricaded it was. We ended up putting an alarm on the door and sticking a wedge in the top. After dealing with that, I don't judge people who have little Houdini's on their hands.

lol I still haven't bothered to remove the alarms we had to put on our doors when ds14 was little, he was a nightmare! He was sneaky AND fast!

 

[aprilgail]

We have about 60 houses in our subdivision. Two of them have chain link fences (only thing allowed here) and they were installed because the owners have dogs.

On my block there are 24 houses just on my section and not ONE of them does not have a fence- Same goes for the houses on the surrounding blocks- I don't know anyone that does not have a fenced in yard.

 

[RangerPooh]

Sounds like you need to suck up the cost and build a new fence and include a lock on the gate. We had to do this when the neighborhood kids kept playing in our backyard without our kids/when we weren't home. Boundaries are needed sometimes, and there are plenty of parents that don't teach this to their children.

 

[holden]

Most of the houses in our development who have fences are the ones who have pools (it's required). Not too many fences where I live but lots of kids.

 

[Cadiewampus]

I am confused like several here as to why they are going through a gate that doesn't have a fence. At least they close it so nothing can get out.

 

[pryncess527]

It really depends on the situation and I think it comes down to how many kids are in the neighborhood. There were a ton of kids in my hood growing up so it was like one big yard, but once we hit middle school and teen years we weren't playing outside as much and everyone got their privacy back.

This is how most neighborhoods in my area are as well, and how I grew up.
Now I need a fence for my dogs, but wouldn't think of it as a requirement for children.

 

[ols386]

If it were me, I'd suck it up, and build and pay for a fence. I would check on specific property lines first though.

Count me in with those who don't understand why there is a gate that the kids go in and out of, but there is no fence. Is it some kind of free-standing gate?

 

[EveDallas]

Interesting, I don't know anyone with kids who doesn't have a fence here. Lots are small, and I'd be nervous of someone escaping, or someone coming into the yard when they were older and out there alone.

It's an interesting conversation to me too. Literally every house in my area growing up had a fence. I didn't even know houses without fences were a thing until probably middle school.

 

[NFLDERS]

Interesting, I don't know anyone with kids who doesn't have a fence here. Lots are small, and I'd be nervous of someone escaping, or someone coming into the yard when they were older and out there alone.

"Escaping!"

 

[aprilgail]

It's an interesting conversation to me too. Literally every house in my area growing up had a fence. I didn't even know houses without fences were a thing until probably middle school.

Same here- I would not like to not have a fence- I want clear boundaries about what is mine and what is not. I also do not want to go into my backyard and find anyone lounging on my patio furniture or on my property that is not supposed to be here. Can't imagine the legal issues I would have to deal with if someone got hurt on my property that was not supposed to even be on it!

 

[sam_gordon]

Same here- I would not like to not have a fence- I want clear boundaries about what is mine and what is not. I also do not want to go into my backyard and find anyone lounging on my patio furniture or on my property that is not supposed to be here. Can't imagine the legal issues I would have to deal with if someone got hurt on my property that was not supposed to even be on it!

DW and I have been home owners for almost 25 years. I remember being in homes for at least 10 years while growing up. We've never had a fence. I have NEVER come home and found someone lounging on our patio furniture or on our property.

 

[HarperLeigh]

Same here- I would not like to not have a fence- I want clear boundaries about what is mine and what is not. I also do not want to go into my backyard and find anyone lounging on my patio furniture or on my property that is not supposed to be here. Can't imagine the legal issues I would have to deal with if someone got hurt on my property that was not supposed to even be on it!

Trespassing and lack of respect for other people's property and boundaries are not an issue here.

 

[mom2rtk]

Same here- I would not like to not have a fence- I want clear boundaries about what is mine and what is not. I also do not want to go into my backyard and find anyone lounging on my patio furniture or on my property that is not supposed to be here. Can't imagine the legal issues I would have to deal with if someone got hurt on my property that was not supposed to even be on it!

You mean like the time I was in my bathroom and looked out the window to see my neighbor standing on my patio right on the other side of the window?

Turns out his cat had escaped and he was trying to catch him. Wasn't funny at the time, but it was fine. I'd probably do the same if my cat escaped.

 

[Hikergirl]

DW and I have been home owners for almost 25 years. I remember being in homes for at least 10 years while growing up. We've never had a fence. I have NEVER come home and found someone lounging on our patio furniture or on our property.

Oh come on now that is exactly what happens when you don't have a fence. People around here just walk around looking for yards to lounge around in

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

Kids are a much bigger problem. We once lived in a house with a 6 ft. stockade fence and a locked gate. When we were not home, neighbor's 8 yo climbed the fence to play on our gym set. She fell off and broke her arm. Mom asked us to pay medical bill! Nope, she knew she was trespassing and the subject was dropped.

Oh come on now that is exactly what happens when you don't have a fence. People around here just walk around looking for yards to lounge around in

.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Same here- I would not like to not have a fence- I want clear boundaries about what is mine and what is not. I also do not want to go into my backyard and find anyone lounging on my patio furniture or on my property that is not supposed to be here. Can't imagine the legal issues I would have to deal with if someone got hurt on my property that was not supposed to even be on it!

Neighbors can be great or suck whether you have a fence or not. We have no fences and conflicting surveys (lax planning and zoning results), but with two neighbors we are all pretty good, take care of our yards and help each other out. Then we have one insane guy down low who is very territorial of his yard but will schmooze up if he wants something...like the time I had a tree company taking down trees and he wanted me to include one on his property. Every few years, he flares up about something stupid and is looking for something. If I ever put a fence up, it would only be to antagonize him.

 

[Hikergirl]

Kids are a much bigger problem. We once lived in a house with a 6 ft. stockade fence and a locked gate. When we were not home, neighbor's 8 yo climbed the fence to play on our gym set. She fell off and broke her arm. Mom asked us to pay medical bill! Nope, she knew she was trespassing and the subject was dropped.

I totally get putting up a fence for liability issues.
What the OP said about finding people lounging in her yard struck me as funny. I pictured roving gangs of people armed with towels and tropical drinks looking for unfenced yards to go hang out in.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I totally get putting up a fence for liability issues.
What the OP said about finding people lounging in her yard struck me as funny. I pictured roving gangs of people armed with towels and tropical drinks looking for unfenced yards to go hang out in.

You laugh, but stuff happens. Back in 2008, we had a nice couple buying our house in NY, because we had moved to NH. We were about a week away from the actual closing when the realtor informed us that they had gone over to the house and enjoyed a picnic lunch by the pool. It wasn't their house yet! Now, it wasn't worth the effort to make a big deal out of this, but I found it a bit odd, to say the least.

On a similar note, when I was a kid, we moved from MA to CT. A family rented, then purchased, the MA home. A few days before closing, they demolished the back porch. Again, my parents figured no big deal--the porch was in rough shape, not worth getting worked up about. But my point is, people do weird things. My aunt noticed a neighbor taking tomatoes from her (aunt's) garden. So, Aunt picked them a little early and put them on her windowsill. Same guy proceeded to walk up to her house and take the tomatoes off the windowsill--WTH??

And don't a fair percentage of horror films start with a creepy neighbor with no boundaries, who gets weirder and weirder as time goes on?

 

[VandVsmama]

You know what they say...fences make good neighbors. The only solution to this is to build a fence and pay for it yourself. As to why the parents next door are not around much, they could both just be working a ton of hours or something. And maybe the auntie next door watching the kids is older and just doesn't have the energy to make sure the kids aren't getting into too much mischief.

If you really don't want the neighbor kids playing in your yard regardless of the condition of the gate, then you need to tell them and their parents that.

In the meantime, until you get a fence installed, one method you could try would be to install one of those automatic motion-activated sprinklers that they show sometimes on the "My Cat From Hell" show on Animal Planet. Works on roaming cats? It'll work on roaming children, too.