WWYD? Neighbor smoking weed

[kaytieeldr]

That's fine, if he's toking in the garage. But the OP also mentioned the fire pit in the back yard.

So, I would probably call the man next door and explain my issue. Just say that your dd is having issues at night due to his son's smoke coming into her bedroom. Could he possibly close the garage window/door?

 

[Katie Dawn]

OP, I'm wondering if putting an oscillating fan right at the window would help? It would need to be turned so it was facing the window so it would be blowing air to the outside. I'm wondering if this would keep the smoke from wafting in.

I'm not sure it would keep her room cool enough though. But maybe worth a try?

 

[TheConsciousness]

Its okay guys, the person you should be taking advice from is here.
The easiest thing to do is mention it in passing. "Hey my daughter would like to smoke with your son, is that okay?"

Nah, just kidding, but mentioning something quickly in passing keeps it quick and light. Just remember: they likely don't know that they are causing problems for you and your family, so don't be upset with them prematurely.

 

[cabanafrau]

Just a suggestion

I totally get where you were coming from, I just know that in our neighborhood and many across the country from what I've heard skunks are becoming a real nuisance and that idea wouldn't work.

Are there any other doors or windows on the garage that might be able to be opened, allowing the smoke to dissipate away from your house? If so, that's the neighborly solution I'd present when I alerted my neighbor to the issue. We only have one bonehead neighbor who would react badly to this conversation (thankfully his house is currently up for sale, there may be a block party). Any of our other neighbors would be absolutely willing to cooperate if approached about this, and vice versa.

 

[nkereina]

I'd probably try the fan tactic first. Sorry if I missed it, but how often is this actually occurring? Is it every night of the week for hours on end? I have to imagine it stops at some point and then the smell dissipates for the evening. How long can someone sit in a garage and smoke, especially when its cold out. But at any rate, if the man is considerate enough to do this in the garage - where he likely thinks he's not bothering anyone - perhaps he would be receptive to being more conscious of the smoke and where it's blowing.

 

[RUDisney]

As a mother whose son smokes for medical reasons, I would not get mad at one of my neighbors telling me that his smoke is affecting their kids. I would ensure that he moves to another part of the yard that is away from their property. My DS would do it willingly.

Don't be judgy in your delivery, just say that you just realized that the smoke is wafting into your DD's room and ask if he could have his DS change his smoking venue. If they are good people, they will do that for you.

 

[Fldisneyfamily4321]

Ditto.

I can't imagine the smoke from one joint smoked in a neighbors yard is going to give your daughter a "contact high"- close the window when he is smoking a joint and open it when he is done.

Yeh it absolutely would NOT .. lol it’s absurd . I can see maybe smelling the odor but in no way would there be actual smoke .

 

[focusondisney]

OK, so your son lived with this for years & you never even knew. So I have to wonder how bad it really is. Your daughter is not bothered by it, but thinks it is funny, according to your first post. There is no chance she is getting high from it. Does it come down to that it is illegal that is bothering you most? Coz if it is just the smoke, things like temporarily closing the window, using a fan or having your daughter use a diffuser to mask the smell would be the easiest & least troublesome options. Personally I would do any of those before even asking on an online forum or speaking to the neighbor.

I have wonderful neighbors. We don’t really socialize but I think they are really good people & we do things for each other like the occasional snow blowing etc. They have a fire pit on their patio that they use a few times a week during our short summers. Their patio is only about 10 feet from our dining room window. So yep, many nights the smoke drifts in (no AC here). I would never think to say anything about it. If it gets too bad, I can just close that window for a few hours. They are enjoying their yard/ patio how they choose. I just really don’t think a little smoke for a few hours is worth making any kind of issue over.

 

[gotomu212]

I would definitely say something. If it had only happened once, I'd let it go, but this seems to be an ongoing issue. A child should be able to go to sleep at night without smelling weed.

Personally, I'd wait until it was happening again. Have your DD let you know when she smells it again and tell you right away. Then I'd immediately go next door and say something. You'd then be able to see if the garage door is open or if he's standing close to her window, which should be issues that could fairly easily be resolved. Explain the situation, and if he seems to doubt that it's going up to her room, invite the dad to go up to her room while his son is smoking so he can smell it. Then simply state that you don't think your DD should have to go to bed with pot smoke wafting into her bedroom and see what he says.

If it continues to happen, I'd consider giving a second warning (since maybe he switched spots but it's still an issue, etc), but after that I'd notify the police.

Ugh no. Do not call the police on a neighbor for doing something legal on their property (and it would be unfathomable that a regular smoker wouldn’t do the bare minimum to get their card and be legal). There is nothing the police can do to stop smells from wafting over property lines. However calling police on a neighbor will torpedo any kind of relationship with the neighbor and could have pretty serious consequences and make your life miserable for years.

Seriously if the choice is between should I shut the window or should I put in a nuisance call with the police (again when there’s nothing they can do), shut the window.

 

[cabanafrau]

Ugh no. Do not call the police on a neighbor for doing something legal on their property (and it would be unfathomable that a regular smoker wouldn’t do the bare minimum to get their card and be legal). There is nothing the police can do to stop smells from wafting over property lines. However calling police on a neighbor will torpedo any kind of relationship with the neighbor and could have pretty serious consequences and make your life miserable for years.

Seriously if the choice is between should I shut the window or should I put in a nuisance call with the police (again when there’s nothing they can do), shut the window.

IMO it's not even a tiny bit unusual for a regular smoker not to have a card.

 

[Scifidiner]

Call the cops, anonymously. And the DEA.

 

[cedricandsophie]

I don’t get the mind your own business. Your kids should be able to keep their windows open without getting a gross smell or smoke wafting in. Why is up to you to put in a fan or keep the windows closed? It’s hard to believe you put up with this so long just to be a good neighbor. He certainly doesn’t worry about being a good neighbor to you. If it were us my husband would have gone over and told him the smell was bad and tell him to have his son go somewhere else to smoke. And if it didnt stop we would need to call the police. Then if it kept happening we would call the police whether we were in a state where it was legal or not. And if the 35 year old stoner bum wants to cause trouble bring it on. My husband wouldnt tolerate this behavior from our own children so why allow it from this moron.

 

[Floridaman999]

Sometimes I'm really thankful for the neighbors I have. For instance, right now I'm thankful.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

So why are you seeking opinions?
Do what you want.

lol

I'm asking on opinions on how to ask him/how to handle a situation that IS NOW my business. That's all. Not trying to stop the guy from smoking, and I really don't care that he does, I only care that it's coming into DD's bedroom at night, and was asking what to do about MY BUSINESS of keeping my DD's room from smelling like weed. Let's not confuse the two, please.

Not directed to you because you weren't wondering, but many others asked, so -

We live in an urban-ish suburb. No driveways, only alleys to the garages. The lots are small and close together. I think I've mentioned before on this board that our two houses are close enough to each other that I can touch my back door and their house at the same time, and they are on the corner of a diagonal intersection, so their house/yard is at a funny angle to ours. DD's window happens to be on the side of of our house closest to their yard and garage. So, when the son is in his garage or at his firepit and he and his friends are smoking, DD's window is less than 20-ish feet away (maybe less, maybe a little more. I haven't officially measured it).

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I don’t get the mind your own business. Your kids should be able to keep their windows open without getting a gross smell or smoke wafting in. Why is up to you to put in a fan or keep the windows closed? It’s hard to believe you put up with this so long just to be a good neighbor. He certainly doesn’t worry about being a good neighbor to you. If it were us my husband would have gone over and told him the smell was bad and tell him to have his son go somewhere else to smoke. And if it didnt stop we would need to call the police. Then if it kept happening we would call the police whether we were in a state where it was legal or not. And if the 35 year old stoner bum wants to cause trouble bring it on. My husband wouldnt tolerate this behavior from our own children so why allow it from this moron.

I didn't know it was coming into her window so strongly until last weekend when DS18 visited from college and they told me about it. He used to have that room before last year when he went to college, and he never said anything! They both think it's hilarious, as most teens would...

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Yeh it absolutely would NOT .. lol it’s absurd . I can see maybe smelling the odor but in no way would there be actual smoke .

lol, she is most definitely NOT getting a contact high. It's more about the smell than anything. I don't want the smell in her bedroom, nor do I want it in my house.

 

[sam_gordon]

I think I've mentioned before on this board that our two houses are close enough to each other that I can touch my back door and their house at the same time, and they are on the corner of a diagonal intersection, so their house/yard is at a funny angle to ours.

Based on this, I'm guessing if he's smoking anywhere on his property, it will be smelled in your DD's room.

 

[verleniahall]

lol, she is most definitely NOT getting a contact high. It's more about the smell than anything. I don't want the smell in her bedroom, nor do I want it in my house.

And that is totally your right - I still say call the cops

 

[Snowflakey]

I stand with the mind your own business folks.

It's part of living close to someone. Whether it's them smoking weed, using foul language, up all night making noise, it comes with close living. I'd much rather be a neighbor that keeps my thoughts to myself. If it's an issue with your DD then YOU make a change. You don't want the smell, close the window. It's not like he's smoking 24/7 and if he is well, dang, that must be one happy hippie

The way things are going it may be legal in your state before you know it.......

 

[amberpi]

I'm shocked by the number of people who would call the cops on this. Monkeys and circuses.

I'm certain your neighbor will have no issue changing his behavior once he's alerted to it. Potheads are supposed to be super laid back, right?