Resort pool etiquette: other parents unsafe children

[buzznina]

For me, I would have told them not to block the slide etc. and if it continued I would have found a lifeguard. Majority of the time just telling them works, and when it doesn't, that's the time you get a CM
What resort was this at? I know when we stayed at GF a few years ago, the splash area was always monitored by a lifeguard.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I would have gone and gotten my daughter and LOUDLY said to her that I was going to get a lifeguard. I wouldn’t have addressed the other kids directly, but let them “overhear” that I was getting someone with authority. AND I would have gone to the front desk at some point and told them they need to station a lifeguard at the splash pad. If enough people do this, they may get the point.

 

[DLgal]

Why the heck wasn't there a lifeguard on duty at the splash pad? Is that a new thing? Every Disney resort splash pad I've seen has a lifeguard standing there watching.

OP, the lifeguard is right. You should have alerted them as soon as the bad behavior started. I would have nicely asked the kids to not engage in those unsafe behaviors, but if they continued, I would have found a lifeguard. Parents can get very unreasonable when their kids are accused of misbehaving by other parents.

 

[Beer Me]

I feel like there should be a lifeguard who - if not there all the time - at least checks on the splash pad periodically.

But I don’t mind saying something to other people’s kids. Just a “hey you guys need to be more careful there are little kids playing here” and if they don’t calm down get a lifeguard

 

[TammyLynn33]

I took that to mean the non-supervising parent looked for the youngest, most inexperienced looking lifeguard she could find, so she could bully him into siding with her.

See I took that as he wasn’t happy with the response of the lifeguard so he was justifying it calling him a junior lol like a senior lifeguard would have responded differently

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the responses. It definitely seems like generally a common experience and part of being a new parent.

Moving forward, I understand the best plan based on what I am reading is to get a life guard very early after the unsafe behavior is observed. (Especially if there is no parent, or lifeguard who would notice without me notifying them). This prevents the situation from escalating.

Notifying CMs about well behaved kids who are slightly over 48 inches isn't necessary and unfair to the well behaved kids. Especially those monitoring younger siblings.

With this in mind, I will definitely be notifying the Riviera resort manager to suggest additional supervision of the splash pad area. It was helpful to know other resorts have such supervision and maybe the riveria will end up tweaking their lifeguard deployment to accommodate. After all, it's a brand new resort and things always need to be tweaked after operating for a little while.

 

[kandb]

If there was an issue going on (bad behavior) it was not your place to discipline those children. I agree 100% with the lifeguard, that you should of left the area and went and gotten a lifeguard. I am not saying you were not correct with the behavior but it just wasn't your place to take action.

 

[ClapYourHands]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the responses. It definitely seems like generally a common experience and part of being a new parent.

Moving forward, I understand the best plan based on what I am reading is to get a life guard very early after the unsafe behavior is observed. (Especially if there is no parent, or lifeguard who would notice without me notifying them). This prevents the situation from escalating.

Notifying CMs about well behaved kids who are slightly over 48 inches isn't necessary and unfair to the well behaved kids. Especially those monitoring younger siblings.

With this in mind, I will definitely be notifying the Riviera resort manager to suggest additional supervision of the splash pad area. It was helpful to know other resorts have such supervision and maybe the riveria will end up tweaking their lifeguard deployment to accommodate. After all, it's a brand new resort and things always need to be tweaked after operating for a little while.

Good attitude to have. As a new parent, you'll find this in many locations, like park playgrounds and indoor bounce houses, etc. Sometimes you'll have someone to complain to (indoor party places), but other times you won't (like at a public park). It sucks, but sometimes the best course of action is simply to remove your own child, even if that isn't fair.

Also, please realize that often lower-level CMs will turn a blind eye to rule breaking because they don't want confrontation, either. Hopefully, it won't be lifeguards at a pool because that's a safety issue, but if you read other threads, many people have noticed people flagrantly violating rules and CMs doing nothing. Probably because the CMs really aren't empowered to enforce rules and be backed up by security/management, and partially because it's easier not to intervene. The guests who flagrantly break rules are also usually the guests who become most belligerent when confronted. The rule-abiding complaining guest is less likely to go nuts on them, so it's "safer" to ignore a complaint than to deal with it.

I'm glad you're going to discuss this with management. If I were paying Riviera prices, I would find it unacceptable for my toddler to be unable to safely enjoy the splash pad.

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

Disciplining someone else’s child almost never goes well. No deed goes on punished and all that.

Years ago we were swimming in the Hippie Dippy pool at Pop Century. It was after hours but pools remained open back then. Kids were diving off the lifeguard stand in shallow water so seriously dangerous. Had I approached them while they were doing that and they hurt themselves I am quite sure I would have been blamed. Instead I had to drag my daughter out of the water on a very cool evening and go inside and get help. It was a very stressful situation for me.

Given the same situation again I still would not try to handle it myself.

The inconvenience you describe is exactly what I intended to avoid. Now I've realized that it's simply not worth it. I've gotta remove my daughter first. At the end of the day, I "saved" myself an inconvenience and bought myself a huge headache.

'Rules' that I live by:

1. Never get between a mama bear and her cubs.
2. Never try to supervise or control someone else's children if there is ANY other safe option available.

N.B. The parent(s) in both situations listed above can almost certainly be counted upon to NOT listen to reason.

This most definitely proved prescient in my case. Thanks for sharing.

Well, yes, but OP wasn't trying to be a lifeguard. Pool safety is largely a matter of ordinary, non-trained people using common sense regarding behaviors that are likely to lead to injury. If the only people who were "involved in pool safety" were lifeguards, a pool would be a seriously scary place.

Very much this. In my mind, lifeguards are the last line of defense. They are reactive. Everyone else is meant to be proactive.

It's a tricky situation. I wouldn't ruin it for older kids who were behaving by complaining just based on size, but the behavior was a different story. - I might have started by giving the "teacher look" and reminding the boys to watch out for the little ones. But if that didn't work, I wouldn't have threatened to get a lifeguard, I'd just have gotten one.


I took that to mean the non-supervising parent looked for the youngest, most inexperienced looking lifeguard she could find, so she could bully him into siding with her.

P.S. to the OP - The lifeguard probably did agree with you, but "official position" is to tell you to let them handle it. They do not want fights between guests!

Agreed, we don't want to ruin it for the older kids. Especially those monitoring younger siblings.

You are right she definitely wanted to strong arm the guy into agreeing with her. It was readily apperent that he hadn't much experience with these situations. Hence my assumption that he was more junior than others.

P.S.S. I think you are right about the lifeguard's opinion looking back at it. Thanks for mentioning that.

 

[gillep]

Why the heck wasn't there a lifeguard on duty at the splash pad? Is that a new thing? Every Disney resort splash pad I've seen has a lifeguard standing there watching.

OP, the lifeguard is right. You should have alerted them as soon as the bad behavior started. I would have nicely asked the kids to not engage in those unsafe behaviors, but if they continued, I would have found a lifeguard. Parents can get very unreasonable when their kids are accused of misbehaving by other parents.

Really? I have never seen a life guard at the Kidani splash pad, including the few times I have walked through this week, nor the one at the GF when we have walked by.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Really? I have never seen a life guard at the Kidani splash pad, including the few times I have walked through this week, nor the one at the GF when we have walked by.

There also wasn't one on duty at the SSR splash pad in May 2018 but that's right next to the pool, so maybe that's why?

 

[xipotec]

So we are abdicating the safety of our own children to a lifeguard who is likely a teenager or young adult?
Why?
Its your kids safety, if they were being that rowdy and uncontrolled they should have been told to cut it out by the parent AND life guard.....in that order and ONLY if a lifeguard was available.

Which clearly they were not. I could care less about offending an absent parent or their crazy kids......

 

[GoingSince1990]

If my kids were misbehaving that way I would welcome another adult correcting them. And I certainly wouldn't do the "How DARE you suggest my little angels are anything but perfect!" thing. However, I'm pretty sure that this is a minority opinion, unfortunately.

 

[trishadono]

I had an unfortunate expirence at the Disney resort pool this afternoon. I'm curious if anyone else has expierenced something similar and/ or knows what Disney's policy on the matter is.

I have a 2 year old daughter who was having a great time In the splash pad at the Riviera resort. This area is indicated to be reserved for children 48 inches and under. There is no dedicated lifeguard on duty. 99% of the kids are supervised and playing safely.

We had been enjoying the area for around 2 hours, with no issue and many great interactions with other guests. At this point, 3 boys enter the area. 2 appear be over 48 inches. The other is borderline. I had no issue with this until they started behaving in an unsafe manner. Running at full speed, jumping around/over my daughter, sitting in the slide exit, climbing UP the slide, riding the slide 3 at a time and stopping themselves IN the tube slide and sitting there for minutes on end.

Their cousin was making a small effort to control their behavior but quickly gave up. It appeared they had long tuned her out. My wife gently asked them to behave at least once. Eventually, my daughter climbed the stairs to go down the tube slide (having seen no one enter recently). She almost ended up sliding down while the 3 boys were still inside. ( Because they had purposely gotten themselves stuck in there again). Luckily I stopped her before going down, but there was definitely a risk there. Maybe I have an over protective outlook, but I can imagine all types of issues in that scenario.

At this point, I told the boys "either your done here, or I'm going to have to get the life guard". Unsurprisingly, I was ignored. I raised my voice and repeated myself. This time they knew I meant business. They high tailed it out of there, and I figured they opted to learn a valuable lesson instead of being embarrassed by a life guard.

Sadly, I was sorely mistaken. About 10 minutes later, an angry mother comes along with a very Junior life guard and her smallest boy. (Lord knows what story the boy concocted for her benefit). She asked me why I had "threatened" her son. I explained the situation. In my mind, I gave the boys an option. I didn't threaten them. In any case, obviously the mom and I had it out, but that's not why I'm posting. I was most surprised by the life gaurd's response. He said, "come get a life guard. Don't do anything." I responded, "even if I believe the behavior is unsafe? There was no lifeguard around, surely I need to act in that situation." From there he kept repeating the same line about getting a lifeguard. And even asked if I knew CPR, as if that would be a requirement to be involved in pool safety. My wife declined to speak with a manager. I was getting no where.

Can this possibly be the company policy? Surely there are many scenarios where a guest needs to discipline other kids? If this is in fact the actual policy, unsupervised pool areas seem like a bad idea.

Maybe this is a cultural shift, but I remember when I was young. Adults were considered authority figures. Is the best answer to alert lifeguards to kids over 48 inches as soon as they enter a height restricted area? Obviously, larger kids pose a much bigger risk to my daughter than smaller. But kids would be given No benefit of the doubt.

I think I would have done the same thing. The kids know at that age what is appropriate. Telling them to choose to stop on their own or a life guard will be called to me seams reasonable.

 

[ClapYourHands]

So we are abdicating the safety of our own children to a lifeguard who is likely a teenager or young adult?
Why?
Its your kids safety, if they were being that rowdy and uncontrolled they should have been told to cut it out by the parent AND life guard.....in that order and ONLY if a lifeguard was available.

Which clearly they were not. I could care less about offending an absent parent or their crazy kids......

I don’t think anyone has said to abdicate the safety of our own children. People are saying to remove our own children from the situation and then get a lifeguard to deal with those who are roughhousing. If I remove my child, she’s safe. Then the lifeguard can clear the big kids without the drama OP encountered.

I don’t really care about offending absentee parents, but the thing about crazy people is they don’t just stay offended somewhere out in the distance. They throw big fits, twist things around, and make accusations that the reasonable people then have to defend. You do you, but my vacation is more pleasant if I can get what I want without kicking the hornets’ nest.

 

[LSUmiss]

I probably would not have confronted the kids, but I would have gotten a CM. This kinda things drives me absolutely CRAZY! There are not many places out there dedicated to little kids where they can play safely. Those older kids could play pretty much anywhere, but then they have to go ruin it for the little ones. This happens to us almost everywhere we go & I’m so sick of it! I would have said something to the kids if I couldn’t find a CM or if the CM had not removed the older kids.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Any signage at the children's area indicating that all children must be supervised by an adult? I thought that would be the case since there is a height limitation at this area. That's the first thing I would have told the lifeguard. That the children were unsupervised in the area and causing problems for the other children.

 

[Ninja Mom]

He said, "come get a life guard. Don't do anything." I responded, "even if I believe the behavior is unsafe? There was no lifeguard around, surely I need to act in that situation." From there he kept repeating the same line about getting a lifeguard. And even asked if I knew CPR, as if that would be a requirement to be involved in pool safety.

Actually I’m 100% sure being certified in CPR *is* a requirement to be a lifeguard.

I'm taking it to mean The LIFEGUARD was asking the GUEST if he was certified in CPR.

From the story that was relayed, I guess the CM's don't wish to deal with a safety problem at the pool. This CM took it further by being snarky and asking the guest if they were certified in CPR. That to me is another indication that this CM was not dealing with the problem correctly.

It's unfortunate that the CM wasn't handling this problem in the best way. It's really unfortunate that guests are expected to keep talking to CM's until they find someone that actually cares about a safety issue.

If you remember the CM's name I would definitely let the hotel manager know his name along with the time and date of the incident. A report about his inappropriate response will go a long way toward the possibility of Disney correcting the unfortunate response by the CM.

In general, safety issues are taken more seriously by managers, especially when there is a potential liability issue.

The issue of which parent was right pales in comparison to the way the CM failed at handling the safety issue. In the future I would document the problem by removing my child from the area and recording the unfortunate behavior by the other guests on my cell phone. This will back up your story when you report it to the staff at that hotel. I also would not hesitate to record a CM who is getting snarky with me... and yes, I know that you need all parties permission to record them in the state of Florida... However no judge or jury would hold you liable for breaking the law if you had a valid reason to document a problematic situation, especially one where a significant injury situation was ALLOWED to exist due to negligence on the part of staff.

~NM

 

[MamaBelle4]

I'm taking it to mean The LIFEGUARD was asking the GUEST if he was certified in CPR.

From the story that was relayed, I guess the CM's don't wish to deal with a safety problem at the pool. This CM took it further by being snarky and asking the guest if they were certified in CPR. That to me is another indication that this CM was not dealing with the problem correctly.

It's unfortunate that the CM wasn't handling this problem in the best way. It's really unfortunate that guests are expected to keep talking to CM's until they find someone that actually cares about a safety issue.

If you remember the CM's name I would definitely let the hotel manager know his name along with the time and date of the incident. A report about his inappropriate response will go a long way toward the possibility of Disney correcting the unfortunate response by the CM.

In general, safety issues are taken more seriously by managers, especially when there is a potential liability issue.

The issue of which parent was right pales in comparison to the way the CM failed at handling the safety issue. In the future I would document the problem by removing my child from the area and recording the unfortunate behavior by the other guests on my cell phone. This will back up your story when you report it to the staff at that hotel. I also would not hesitate to record a CM who is getting snarky with me... and yes, I know that you need all parties permission to record them in the state of Florida... However no judge or jury would hold you liable for breaking the law if you had a valid reason to document a problematic situation, especially one where a significant injury situation was ALLOWED to exist due to negligence on the part of staff.

~NM

TBH I didn't read that response as snarky.

OP asked if he shouldn't intervene if it was a safety issue. Lifeguard was right to bring up CPR. You are around water. If guests feel like they can take safety of others in their own hands, it may delay someone getting to attention they need. It is not a line that should have a gray area.

 

[Ben E N]

I had a very similar situation as the OP's when I sailed on the Dream a couple of years ago. The main pool got closed, so of course bigger kids ran over the the Nemo playpad, where my at the time 3 year old was playing. There was no lifeguard anywhere to be seen, despite the fact that this was an area for small children, and that it was overcrowded.
The bigger kids were able to use the slide quasi-appropriately for a few minutes, but then of course they got to goofing around with each other in the presence of toddlers. At one point one of them made contact with my son. I forget if they pushed him to go down the slide, or if they slid down too quickly behind him and knocked him over. In either case, I immediately intervened and let the whole group know that if they touched my kid again, they would all have a big problem with me. I said this loudly enough for the whole play area, and dining area around it, to hear. A lifeguard was walking by at the time, looked over at me, and then continued walking. It was bizarre. Another parent turned to me and thanked me for actually intervening in some way, and commented on how strange it was that there were no Disney employees anywhere to be found.
After that encounter, I feel like I am done going on Disney ships. This is a different topic than the original post, but I started sailing Carnival after that and have been very pleased to see lifeguards not only monitoring, but actively managing kids play areas. They enforce height limits sternly but fairly, and it seems to prevent conflict from happening before it gets the chance to start. I have no idea why Disney can't staff their pools similarly.