Curious .... what agreement do you have with your college student as far as tuition?

[crisi]

I know a lot of my peers knew in high school and ended up doing what they thought they would.

I work with labor force data for a living so I have access to lots of good data at the detailed occupation level (average wage, entry level wage, experienced wage, education requirement, historical growth, projected growth, unemployment rate, etc.) We also map degrees to occupations. We would not map an art history degree to IT management.

Kids may not know exactly what they want to do but there's a lot of information available to help them make good choices. If they want a six figure job, Art History probably isn't the way to go. All the one person case studies (mine included) don't change that.

No, you wouldn't map that, yet I know IT managers with degrees in Art History, Theatre, Anthropology, History, English and Sociology. And some with degrees in Business (long after I became an IT manager, I picked up a business degree as well). I can't think of anyone who got their undergrad degree in Computer Science or MIS - those people tend to end up being developers, architects, etc. (Masters, yes. Which is another thing - we are talking undergrad degrees. Most managers have an MBA - I don't, but most do. You can pick that up with any undergrad degree. And it IT, MOST undergrad degrees for managers are liberal arts, in my 35 years of experience in the field working for Fortune 500 sized companies.)

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

Most kids that go into STEM fields end up working in the field they had decided upon in school. Yes, you do find the engineer who became a finance manager or the chemist who did better in sales, but they are in the fields they choose for the most part. You can't argue the data and the jobs are highly shifting to the STEM fields with the medical field really taking off.

No reason to take offense to the facts, as the job world is changing. We now have burger flippers demanding $15 an hour for their "un-skilled" labor. To each their own, but again the numbers don't lie.

 

[PlutoPony]

I've hired people, and no. There are IT management majors, but the majority of people we hire into management we start as business analysts or project managers or systems analyst - those aren't jobs we look for IT degrees for - they are jobs we look for liberal arts majors.

The bigger companies here today are hiring fresh out engineers as business analysts and project managers. Mainly because of their strong data gathering/analysis skills and attention to detail. I'm talking companies in banking and healthcare, as well as technology. Business IT majors are having to compete with the engineers for the jobs. Few LAS majors are being looked at for these positions at this time. YMMV and it could all change tomorrow.

 

[Marionnette]

I don't know many eighteen year olds who know what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

My older son went into college with an undeclared major. He was leaning toward something in the field of computers but was undecided. He chose IT with a concentration in cyber security. If you would have suggested this to 18-year-old son #1, he would have laughed in your face. He thought that he would end up in programming, designing games.

 

[NYCDiane]

Do you pay 100% tuition? Room and board? Do they pay a portion or none at all? If they pay a portion, is it a % of the tuition and what amount do you use?


How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

My agreement is this: She will take out student loans and pay them off once she graduates. I will assist her when and how and if I can. She has money from when she used to act/model as a child so she can use that for some tuition and books. She'll also be working so she can use her own money. She is not living on-campus as her school is close to home.

** For those who think they "have to" pay tuition or anything else.... it's not a very smart idea. Whatever money you plan on giving your child for college should go into your retirement fund. Your child is young and is able to work and be responsible for the student loans (which have very low interest). Once you are of retirement age, you should be able to retire and live a comfortable life --- not have to continue working because you decided to pay your kid's college.

 

[TwoMisfits]

You don't have to go STEM in college to be successful. In fact, if you hate STEM or don't do well in STEM, you're setting yourself up for disaster and it's the worst thing you can do in trying to find success.

Instead, what you do have to do for college is have a plan. If you can't have a plan at 18, you should not head to college. Figuring things out on the fly is expensive and stressful.

And parents can help their kids with their plans (if their kids want the help). But you shouldn't dictate a "take it or leave it" plan...just present the options and the "smart" plays...

I had the aptitude for STEM, but I hated it in school, so I went with an Accounting degree. Best decision I ever made to pursue what came intuitively and easily for me and what I could see myself doing post-school, if I didn't end up going with my original plan - law school and trying to become a judge (and life circumstances changed during college and made me not pursue that and not want to pursue that - my dad's best advice was to get a degree that would make me a double threat post law school and which would let me work even if I never went...the plan and the backup plan...and it worked).

 

[kathy884]

** For those who think they "have to" pay tuition or anything else.... it's not a very smart idea. Whatever money you plan on giving your child for college should go into your retirement fund. Your child is young and is able to work and be responsible for the student loans (which have very low interest). Once you are of retirement age, you should be able to retire and live a comfortable life --- not have to continue working because you decided to pay your kid's college.

If, though, you have a means to fund your retirement and help your kids out, why not. I don't feel I need an overly extravagant retirement and would prefer to share my good fortune and help my kid get started too. I think you make a good point that you need to consider your own retirement too. I'm 55 now. In general I enjoy by work, but sometimes when things are stressful I have to admit that early retirement sounds great. The reality for me, though, is that if I'm able to work for another 12 years, to my normal retirement age of 67, I'm willing to do that for better financial security for my family and to help my child out too (get started in life). For me from age 21 on when I got my first real job out of college, I took a balanced approach to budgeting, putting aside money for retirement and kid education (even though I wasn't married yet and didn't have any children yet). That, though, gave me a head start. I got married at 24 and adopted a child at 34. I was able to think this way early and start saving early because my parents paid for my college and helped me get started.

 

[kathy884]

I didn't realize parents paying for school was so common. I have/am paying 100% of my own tuition, etc

I'm guessing that the comments here are probably not a good representation of what percentage wise is really occurring overall in the US. I'm guessing lots of the people posting here are way more into budgeting and saving for specific goals (kid college included) than the general population.

 

[crisi]

The bigger companies here today are hiring fresh out engineers as business analysts and project managers. Mainly because of their strong data gathering/analysis skills and attention to detail. I'm talking companies in banking and healthcare, as well as technology. Business IT majors are having to compete with the engineers for the jobs. Few LAS majors are being looked at for these positions at this time. YMMV and it could all change tomorrow.

Really? How many of these have you hired over the past ten years. Cause I hired five last year alone - none had a STEM background.

 

[kinntj]

We pay for four years public university.

 

[PlutoPony]

Really? How many of these have you hired over the past ten years. Cause I hired five last year alone - none had a STEM background.

Neighbor across the street has hired 12 in the past 18 months - just for his IT department (he's VP level). He keeps in touch with others at his level in other companies in the area and they report a similar pattern. Few business majors too but only looks at LAS majors if they have a connection into the company and he gets the resume personally. Then he'll do a courtesy interview. Rarely does he find one that has what he needs to hit the ground running. Know others in HR in the area who say similar things. Believe me it's something we all talk about a lot as many of us have late high school and college students. And my husband was recently an out of work engineer late in life so he spent a lot of time with job postings both in and out of the govt here.

 

[Marionnette]

Really? How many of these have you hired over the past ten years. Cause I hired five last year alone - none had a STEM background.

My guess would be that this is because you bring your own bias to the hiring table. Our business is small, but we would not hire a non-IT professional to do the job of an IT person in the hopes that they can be "groomed" for the position. We want them to be able to perform the job that is placed before them. We know enough about our field to teach them about our line of work on a need-to know-basis. What we require is someone who can bring a skill set that we lack to the table.

 

[piccolopat]

We pay the whole thing. M son had to grow up in this crapy small town with no jobs so I am not going to make them suffer and not pay for their college. I do not want my kids to end up losers like me and I will do anything to pay for their college. They should not have to suffer because of our poor choices.

Don't beat yourself up. If you can pay the total cost of your son's college, you're really not doing so bad.

 

[piccolopat]

We have also started pushing our kids into the STEM sectors, even at young ages. I have a hard time paying for a 4 year college degree in a field that makes it very hard to get a return on that investment. Yes, there is a need for most degrees, but it is amazing to me how many kids go to college for: History, Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy, etc etc etc. Yes, all are valid degrees, until it comes to employment. I want my kids to know that the costs towards college will be covered in a line of work/career that is going to help them prosper down and hopefully and easier life. There is no guarantees, and I know there are a hundred stories of those in liberal arts fields with success in life, but it is not as easy as if you are in the STEM sector. Again, my opinion, but a very valid one.

My DD and her DH both graduated with STEM degrees but in 2008-9. There were no jobs to be had without field experience. As long as your kids realize that with the push now for STEM degrees there may be a glut of STEM graduates at some point and they'll need to be open to other careers, that's fine. In the end DD ended up landing an apprenticeship with the local plumbers union and her DH is manager and millwork specialist.

 

[Chelley00]

We are awful parents.

We have two in college and two more to go. We do not pay for school. We instill in them from a young age that college is important and that they need to work hard in high school to get all the scholarship money they can get. We pay for books and food and necessities while they are in school but not tuition and we absolutely will not pay for a dorm. We are lucky that we live in a town with many colleges so there is not a need to go away to school. DS#1 chose to go to a school away from home and got scholarship money to help with his dorm fees. DS#2 is living at home and commuting.

Now, with that said, they all have 529s and we do help with tuition payments as long as they maintain As and Bs (and we are okay with high Cs as long as they are going to class and working hard) If an issue comes up we are flexible about helping more if we can. My parents didn't help with my degree at all and I think I turned out okay

 

[jodifla]

I never understand the adversarial relationships people either have -- in the case of the families who now have toddlers and the yet-unborn -- plan on having with their children after they turn 18.

I view it as an ongoing conversation in our family, just like we do with all big decisions. In my day, going to college in the '70s, you could work over the summer, take out minimal loans, and get yourself through a good state school for 4 years. Today, that's not possible. I had $10,000 in loans that I was able to pay off easily in 10 years of low interest. My parents paid all that they comfortably could, and I worked during the school year on work study as well. I joined a sorority, had a pretty fun time -- but still worked hard and got great grades. My parents were happy to help and didn't begrudge me anything.

But today's loans to get through 4 years of school are more in the $100,000 to $200,000 range. That's a crushing amount of debt to come out of school with. It may literally be something your child can never escape, because they will never make enough to pay off the loans and be able to afford to get married, have children, buy a house, etc.

Our son's 4 year college is already paid for. He struggles in academics, so he may choose not to go -- in that case we'll help him decide other options. We won't just dump him when he turns 18.

 

[piccolopat]

Most kids that go into STEM fields end up working in the field they had decided upon in school. Yes, you do find the engineer who became a finance manager or the chemist who did better in sales, but they are in the fields they choose for the most part. You can't argue the data and the jobs are highly shifting to the STEM fields with the medical field really taking off.

No reason to take offense to the facts, as the job world is changing. We not have burger flippers demanding $15 an hour for their "un-skilled" labor. To each their own, but again the numbers don't lie.

So my DD's friend got her bachelor's in chemistry in 2009 and couldn't find work. She went to grad school and still couldn't find work. She is now finishing her doctorate and hoping work will be there when she graduates this year. My niece has a master's in chemistry and tried to go back to work after raising her boys. There was no work to be found and she went back to school to become a nurse. A STEM degree may improve the odds in certain areas of the country but it is not a guarantee. A non-STEM degree does not equate to a minimum wage job either.

 

[Chelley00]

We won't just dump him when he turns 18.

Just because we don't pay for college doesn't mean we have dumped our kids when they turn 18. They have a place to live, we pay car, car insurance, health insurance, cell phones, medical bills, buy their clothes etc. We didn't pay $20K a year for them to go to school from age 5-18. We aren't paying for it from 18-25. We help but we don't do it all. College is an investment and our kids are investing in their future just like I did in mine.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I never understand the adversarial relationships people either have -- in the case of the families who now have toddlers and the yet-unborn -- plan on having with their children after they turn 18.

I view it as an ongoing conversation in our family, just like we do with all big decisions. In my day, going to college in the '70s, you could work over the summer, take out minimal loans, and get yourself through a good state school for 4 years. Today, that's not possible. I had $10,000 in loans that I was able to pay off easily in 10 years of low interest. My parents paid all that they comfortably could, and I worked during the school year on work study as well. I joined a sorority, had a pretty fun time -- but still worked hard and got great grades. My parents were happy to help and didn't begrudge me anything.

But today's loans to get through 4 years of school are more in the $100,000 to $200,000 range. That's a crushing amount of debt to come out of school with. It may literally be something your child can never escape, because they will never make enough to pay off the loans and be able to afford to get married, have children, buy a house, etc.

Our son's 4 year college is already paid for. He struggles in academics, so he may choose not to go -- in that case we'll help him decide other options. We won't just dump him when he turns 18.

I don't think people are suggesting "just dump them"...more that they expect their 18 year olds to start thinking like adults - having a vision, understanding consequences and unintended consequences, evaluating risk vs reward, knowing what the cost of something really is and the effects paying for it has, etc...

Many people use college as this 1st "adult" thought process b/c it is the 1st huge expense with a risk/reward that usually confronts their kids...letting kids know how much "risk" you, the parents, will take on to help them out is just part of the adult evaluation process (and it is true - a kid who knows it's all paid for so there is literally no risk to them will evaluate the decision to a lesser degree than one who has to pay it all themselves and put their financial future at the greatest risk...at least if they have reached the ability to think as an adult needs to do)...

 

[MommaBerd]

We also expect him to do things to grow personally and gain experience that will benefit him in the future. Internships, a few clubs, leadership positions where possible. NOT tons of activities but a few things other than go to class was an expectation from the outset.

Even though we are footing this, he's the one who actually pays the bills - tuition, rent, utilities, etc. May seem like a minor thing but we want him to be aware of how much $ is going out, be responsible for payment deadlines, etc. We give him 6 months living expenses at a time (rent, utilities, food budget) and he takes care of if from there. At the end of 6 months he posts actuals in a rudimentary spreadsheet and we jointly decide whether each category needs adjusted.

These are both great ideas. I am going to share them with DH. Maybe we'll ease him into managing his money/payments in increments. Fortunately, oldest DS is extremely responsible and frugal - almost to a fault. But, it would probably be overwhelming to give him 6 mos. off the bat.

I didn't realize parents paying for school was so common. I have/am paying 100% of my own tuition, etc

I think it is fantastic that you are doing this. I am proud of the fact that I also paid my way through school (except for a small loan from my grandparents, who then forgave it after I made about a year of payments). But because I was working and going to a very difficult school, it left little time for me to take advantage of extracurricular activities or other experiences that I think would have had a more positive impact.

We pay for four years public university.

While I am not an advocate of private universities for the sake of the name or prestige, private colleges and universities ARE generous with financial aid. And so I would urge anyone not to automatically rule out private colleges just because of the published cost of attendance. My DS's top school is an out of state private university and his cost of attendance there will be equal to - and maybe even less if you take travel costs out of the equation - our in-state public universities. (And given the career he wants to pursue, it's a good thing because there are only a handful of universities that offer it as a major or a minor!)