Graduation Decorum Rant

[SteveH]

/begin_rant

Over the past several years I have become more and more disgusted how some people behave at public events. From my kids school music concerts, dining out and yes countless times at Disney too. I already know we’ve become a “it’s all about me society” so it’s not really a surprised, but I find it sad and aggravating.

So this past weekend we went to a small private university’s graduation ceremonies. I’ve seen graduations turn into something more like a bunch of fans at a hockey game. But my kids high school graduation both had more decorum then we experienced on Sunday.

The large number of students that walked in with their robes unzipped, the ‘look at me’ mortar boards I can accept. I know it’s not about me, it’s about the graduates.

But the real issue that got my goat was a very large family, probably 20-24 people attending graduation. It was obviously a big deal for them and their graduate. As her name was called they all stood up to cheer for her and even had matching photo fans with her face on them. That was all great! But they continued standing and hooting & hollering even after she left the stage and while other students names were announced. I felt sorry for those other students as I’m not sure any one could hear their names over the group who thought we were at a Football game. To make matters worse the family members continued standing, and standing, totally ignoring the 3 rows of people behind them. When I was contemplating asking them ‘sit down’ they managed to take it to a whole new level, they started to leave! Yes, in the middle of the announcements with about 60 students left all 20-24 left, started walking out! Quietly you ask? Of course not. They made a scene and blocked the view for so many others. This was beyond rude. Their “princess” was all that mattered to them and damn everyone else.

I won’t even go on about how more then half the stands were emptied before the processional of graduates had filed out (even though they were verbally asked to wait and it was printed too)

Decorum, class and respect for others is dead!

/end_rant

 

[maxiesmom]

I couldn't agree more!!!! Each graduation I have been to they ask for people to not yell and carry on, and still people do. It is very rude for the graduates after the Prince or Princess, as their name gets drowned out. The cow bells and horns are the worst!!!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

/begin_rant

Over the past several years I have become more and more disgusted how some people behave at public events. From my kids school music concerts,

 

[FlightlessDuck]

OK... too late.

1. People who talk during the concert. SHUT UP! IT'S A MUSIC CONCERT!
2. People who yell or call out their child's name after a solo.
3. People who wave at their student when they are getting on stage. Your child should not be waving back, they should be getting ready to play their instrument.
4. USING FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.
5. Getting up in the middle of the concert because your child is done with their portion of the concert.

 

[Southernmiss]

/begin_rant

Over the past several years I have become more and more disgusted how some people behave at public events. From my kids school music concerts, dining out and yes countless times at Disney too. I already know we’ve become a “it’s all about me society” so it’s not really a surprised, but I find it sad and aggravating.

So this past weekend we went to a small private university’s graduation ceremonies. I’ve seen graduations turn into something more like a bunch of fans at a hockey game. But my kids high school graduation both had more decorum then we experienced on Sunday.

The large number of students that walked in with their robes unzipped, the ‘look at me’ mortar boards I can accept. I know it’s not about me, it’s about the graduates.

But the real issue that got my goat was a very large family, probably 20-24 people attending graduation. It was obviously a big deal for them and their graduate. As her name was called they all stood up to cheer for her and even had matching photo fans with her face on them. That was all great! But they continued standing and hooting & hollering even after she left the stage and while other students names were announced. I felt sorry for those other students as I’m not sure any one could hear their names over the group who thought we were at a Football game. To make matters worse the family members continued standing, and standing, totally ignoring the 3 rows of people behind them. When I was contemplating asking them ‘sit down’ they managed to take it to a whole new level, they started to leave! Yes, in the middle of the announcements with about 60 students left all 20-24 left, started walking out! Quietly you ask? Of course not. They made a scene and blocked the view for so many others. This was beyond rude. Their “princess” was all that mattered to them and damn everyone else.

I won’t even go on about how more then half the stands were emptied before the processional of graduates had filed out (even though they were verbally asked to wait and it was printed too)

Decorum, class and respect for others is dead!

/end_rant

Welcome to graduation season!

I've had 3 graduate from public high school since 2012 in classes of 350+. Graduation takes place in the local concert arena and seats 15,000 plus. While I've not witnessed robes open and flowing, or improper decorum among the graduates, I have seen the bad behavior of their "fans" that you refer to. It is ridiculous! I was just re-watching the video today of my child who graduated last year (he gave a speech) I can not tell you how many people walked in front of me filming him as I was seated in my seat.

We've also had 1 graduate from University with his bachelor's and then his Master's degree at the same college in the school's basketball arena and saw similar behavior to the high school graduations and your experience.

Contrast that to my nephew's graduation from high school on Friday night from a Christian school with a class of 19 students in a church. He had 30 family members present for his graduation and the church was full of other family and friends of the other graduates. We all noticed and remarked how much more dignified and enjoyable the graduation was simply because the "crowd" was polite and considerate. (The ceremony itself was much like my other experiences in design and format.) My brother and sister who have younger children joked that they would start sending their kids to private school just for the respectful graduation.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Here's a graduation one:

Not standing up during the procession.

 

[luvsJack]

I was so afraid it was going to be this way at dd’s recent cc graduation and was pleasantly surprised. There were so many people with balloon bouquets and signs that I thought it was going to be chaos. Especially when the college President didn’t make any announcement about holding applause (I figured he just gave up on it). It really wasn’t at all.

At my niece’s recent high school graduation it was a bit of cheers and whistles and such but they are still small enough that they pause between names to allow for it. And I noticed that some of these same folks gave cheers for the students that didn’t have anyone cheering. So the cheers were more evenly distributed. Lol Also it was so sweet when two students with severe disabilities were given a standing ovation by the other graduates.

 

[SteveH]

OK... too late.

Yes! Those were all on my list for concerts too.

We've also had 1 graduate from University with his bachelor's and then his Master's degree at the same college in the school's basketball arena and saw similar behavior to the high school graduations and your experience.

I recall the lecture and the threat when I graduated high school and college. In high school there was a rumor some students were going to go streaking so they checked that everyone was dressed under the robes. For my BS I opted to walk in the summer from my University, it was mostly masters and doctoral students, and very classy. But like my high school expectations for us at graduates was clear. But all of this is from the parents and guests. I don't know how to change it, but it's out of control.

 

[dish rag]

I agree.

 

[Southernmiss]

I was so afraid it was going to be this way at dd’s recent cc graduation and was pleasantly surprised. There were so many people with balloon bouquets and signs that I thought it was going to be chaos. Especially when the college President didn’t make any announcement about holding applause (I figured he just gave up on it). It really wasn’t at all.

At my niece’s recent high school graduation it was a bit of cheers and whistles and such but they are still small enough that they pause between names to allow for it. And I noticed that some of these same folks gave cheers for the students that didn’t have anyone cheering. So the cheers were more evenly distributed. Lol Also it was so sweet when two students with severe disabilities were given a standing ovation by the other graduates.

DS had a couple of disabled students in his graduating class last year. And the other students were so happy for them and gave them high fives and took pictures with them as they arrived back at their seats. DS even featured one who was truly an inspiration to the entire graduating class in what he overcame to graduate with a 3.0 GPA in his speech as an encouragement to the other students to remember as they moved forward with their lives. The cheers for that young man could have lifted the roof. It touched me again today when I listened to the speech.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

OK... too late.

1. People who talk during the concert. SHUT UP! IT'S A MUSIC CONCERT!
2. People who yell or call out their child's name after a solo.
3. People who wave at their student when they are getting on stage. Your child should not be waving back, they should be getting ready to play their instrument.
4. USING FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.
5. Getting up in the middle of the concert because your child is done with their portion of the concert.

We had no doubt that if we ever waived back, our choir director would skin us alive.

 

[soccerdad72]

1. Getting up in the middle of the concert because your child is done with their portion of the concert.

That's the one that got to me last week - I noticed two or three families get up and leave after their kids were done (along with their children) with their part of a middle school concert. Keep in mind, the whole concert wasn't more than about 45 minutes.

I leaned over to my wife and said, "We had to sit through your kid butcher their three songs - they should have to sit through ours butcher his!"

 

[SouloTravlr]

I was at a university graduation yesterday. The Chancellor announced right before the grads walked across the stage that they had been instructed to tell their families to remain quiet while their students name was announced. He then said "Forget those instructions. This is a day to celebrate and you should be proud of your graduate. Please, let them know how proud you are and make as much noise as you'd like." The entire arena of 12,000 plus people clapped and cheered. I guess we were lucky that everyone was respectful of other graduates while celebrating their own student.

 

[powellrj]

My DD graduated a few weeks ago from a smaller private university. The crowd was pretty well behaved.

We went to my grandkids end of the year music program last week. Wow, the crowd was so bad. The lady next to me talked on the phone all during pledge. And people carried on conversations like they were at home.

When my kids were in school, their music teacher would stop a program and look out in The crowd until the noise stopped. It was great and we really miss her.

 

[Hikergirl]

That family must have had a child graduate at my dd's ceremony last week too.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I was so impressed with the person announcing the names at our high school's graduation last week. He was so tuned in to the noise that he would stop and wait if a family did too much hooping and hollering. He also had obviously taken an effort to get pronunciations down. There was only one family that did extended yelling, and I really did think it was rude and disrespectful to hold the next graduate up so long.

 

[soccerdad72]

DS had a couple of disabled students in his graduating class last year. And the other students were so happy for them. DS even featured one who was truly an inspiration to the entire graduating class in what he overcame to graduate with a 3.0 GPA in his speech as an encouragement to the other students to remember as they moved forward with their lives. The cheers for that young man could have lifted the roof. It touched me again today when I listened to the speech.

A girl in our graduating class had Leukemia during our senior year and completed much of her classwork during the year at home or in a hospital bed. She was healthy enough (just barely) to walk at commencement and before the ceremony, we all asked our principal and other administration if it was ok for the class to give her a standing ovation when they announced her name. Nobody had an issue with it, and by letting them know ahead of time, the teacher reading off names knew that she should pause for a long enough time to give her the proper ovation without taking away from the graduate following her. She passed away about a month after graduation.

The problem becomes when a group of people decide to make the entire event about themselves without regards for anyone else - that goes for a long list of public events.

 

[verleniahall]

Our school has signs up that say that if you MUST leave, you have to do it in between selections, and students are NOT released until after the full concert is over.

WHen I was growing up, we had that music and band director who had NO QUALMS about calling out the parents on rude behavior - I remember one concert where he actually stopped us due to someone talkign LOUDLY in the gym and walked over and asked how much longer their conversation was going to be and if our selectoin was bothering them. The guy REPLIED that no -w e weren't bothering them, they just had to talk louder to be able to hear each other. The girl kept poking him and telling him to stop - it was pretty funny then AND now!

 

[verleniahall]

A girl in our graduating class had Leukemia during our senior year and completed much of her classwork during the year at home or in a hospital bed. She was healthy enough (just barely) to walk at commencement and before the ceremony, we all asked our principal and other administration if it was ok for the class to give her a standing ovation when they announced her name. Nobody had an issue with it, and by letting them know ahead of time, the teacher reading off names knew that she should pause for a long enough time to give her the proper ovation without taking away from the graduate following her. She passed away about a month after graduation.

The problem becomes when a group of people decide to make the entire event about themselves without regards for anyone else - that goes for a long list of public events.

That is beautiful and I'm so sorry for your class's loss

 

[luvsJack]

We had no doubt that if we ever waived back, our choir director would skin us alive.

Lol that is exactly what dd’s director would have done!

And if parents didn’t act right at performances, the choir members caught heck the next week.