How close are you to your breaking point?

[MarkLT1]

The uncertainty of knowing what is going to happen, how the economy is going to recover, when is their going to be a treatment/vaccine, etc etc.

Fair enough, tough I'm not entirely sure what that has to do with dealing with social isolation (which I thought was the original purpose of the thread). If PP (or anyone else) hits that breaking point, and says "I am no longer doing this" it doesn't change the economy, how long it will take to get a vaccine, etc. I guess it is just a different interpretation of the thread's question.

 

[HeatherC]

While there are days that we feel stir crazy, for the most part we recognize that we are EXTREMELY lucky. The hardest thing being asked of us is to simply stay at home and I just remind myself of that. Even my adult kids see that and respect it.
Getting a manicure or going to a restaurant even if the state has opened...even if you are old, just seems irresponsible and selfish at this point until we see numbers dropping drastically. It’s not about getting sick. It is about not making someone else sick.

 

[maxaroni]

One thing we have done that has helped us, face time. We have eaten dinner at the same time as DS & his fiancée and FaceTime. It sounds like such a small thing but helps us to see them. Some evenings we’ve ordered delivery from a local restaurant for both of us. So, a special dinner and FaceTiming .

 

[MamaLema]

I don’t think I’ll ever get to a breaking point. I’ve been home for 6 weeks now and I love it. My job causes me anxiety. I go for a daily walk and it’s enough for me. We only go to restaurants when on vacation so that part is the same for us.
I’m a little sad we cancelled a trip for June but I’m ok with staying home for a long long time.

 

[ten6mom]

My in-laws live in the basement and have been aggressively social distancing. Their only exposure to the outside world is going on walks at the nearby school. There is no one at the closed school.

They mentioned they are getting close to just going out.

One of their friends, an 84 year old woman, on Friday got a pedicure and manicure. She has told their group of friends she is also planning to sit down and eat in a restaurant on Monday and they are all invited. She said she is old and is not going to live like she is in jail.

How about you?

I know I am getting close to breaking. I might be able to make it to mid or late May but no way I will mentally make it until June living like this.

We are OK here (I can't WFH so my routine isn't all that different) but I am curious to know where the friend is going to a sit down restaurant... aren't they all closed??

 

[fortwildernessishome]

We are doing great. No where near a breaking point.

I have been loving having a chance to do things that I never have time for. My house is cleaner and more organized than it has been in years. Instead of going for one 3 mile walk a day, I now go for two 3 mile walks. I used to run in around 15-20 races a year and lately, I have been contemplating running again. Not racing, just running. I am more in touch now with friends and family that I normally have little contact with throughout the year. We are eating better and healthier now that I am home and have more time to prepare food/meals.

Our youngest is laid of from his part time job and is now getting more than 3x's his pay from unemployment. Course, his college classes are now on-line and that has been a struggle for him.

Having said all that though, I do miss doing our grocery shopping, (my husband has been our point person for shopping) I miss seeing my Mom, brothers family and little nieces. We were blessed in that we just had a two week Disney vacation in January and flew to Charleston for 5 days in the beginning of March. But, normally in March, April and May we do 4-6 weekends away to different places in New England, so I have missed that.

My heart truly breaks with all of the suffering going on. I feels so sad for the folks that can't pay their rent or buy groceries and who must be terrified at how they are going to get by. And the people that have lost their jobs with no hope of getting a new one. I am especially sad also for all of the people in nursing homes that can't see their family.

 

[Darcy03231]

I'm fine. Working from home 4 days a week and the office one day. I'm still able to go horseback riding (and we're keeping the proper social distancing). We've gone to the local grocery store and Walmart pretty much weekly (neither has had everything, but between the two we manage). We've also gone on walks around out neighborhood. We've also been watching our neighbor's 6 y.o. and 13 m.o. as they're essential workers and daycare/school is closed. Keeps us on our toes!

 

[Heather07438]

We're fine so far. Losing money stinks. DS17's senior year changing has been disappointing.

So far *knock on wood* it hasn't felt unbearable. Looking forward to better times ahead.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

Doing just fine here.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

I am incredibly lucky because both my young adult children were able to return home before lockdown and we have a small holding and live in a rural area with lots of off road footpaths, so we can easily do and enjoy our one permitted exercise for the day. I am making the most of spending time with the children’, chatting, walking, drinking wine, playing games, watching films... just ‘being’ together.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

In regards to staying home, I can do it. I’m mentally strong. I miss my friends and family but I’m ok for now. My SO and I are great together and enjoy spending time together so we aren’t dreading this time together. My kids are older and homeschool themselves and we all get along so we’re good there too. But we do miss going out. My kids miss their friends. My Ds20 may crack first and start visiting friends. If this doesn’t lift by June I will probably start visiting friends and hanging out. That’ll probably be my “I’m done” point.

Everything else Is stressful for me. The unknown if it all. Everyday something is changing at work (hospital). There is no normalcy for me. Everyday is up in the air and I hate the unknown. I miss my routine. My normal.

It’s also stressful because the hospital I work at is in a very poor area. I see what this is doing to the already poor. I see the rise in domestic violence cases coming into the hospital. I see the rise in children coming in with mysterious injuries that are being investigated as child abuse.

I have family and friends who depend on side jobs and things like that to survive. Those have stopped and there’s no unemployment for that. I grew up very poor so that side of it really gets to me. I know what people are going through.

 

[Pink Partridge]

It’s also stressful because the hospital I work at is in a very poor area. I see what this is doing to the already poor. I see the rise in domestic violence cases coming into the hospital. I see the rise in children coming in with mysterious injuries that are being investigated as child abuse.

Oh. I have been blocking this aspect of the situation every time it creeps into my head. Just horrific. I am so sorry you have to see it first hand. I can't even imaging. Hugs.

 

[kdonnel]

We are OK here (I can't WFH so my routine isn't all that different) but I am curious to know where the friend is going to a sit down restaurant... aren't they all closed??

Opening Monday.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Oh. I have been blocking this aspect of the situation every time it creeps into my head. Just horrific. I am so sorry you have to see it first hand. I can't even imaging. Hugs.

Makes me think a lot about is the cure worse than the disease. I’ve said it over and over again. Some will die from directly having covid. Some will die because of covid. Which is worse? Which is better?

 

[ronandannette]

Honestly, it would be a lot more tempting if there was actually anything to go out and do. Our city is under heavy restrictions and apparently will remain so until August 31. That news alone would probably prompt at least a minor rebellion if there were any opportunities to exploit. What's closed is closed and being heavily monitored by authorities.

As it stands now, nothing is open here to walk into except grocery stores and pharmacies. Home improvement places and other retailers with on-line ordering are curb-side pick-up only and all restaurants are curb-side, drive-through or delivery. Libraries, rec centres, playgrounds, churches, sports courts, movie theaters, salons and absolutely everything else is just flat-out closed. Meeting a friend or two outdoors for a safely-social-distanced walk is about as wild as it gets. Other than having people into your home, or going into theirs, I see no way to really defy isolation.

 

[KBoopaloo]

Some days are better than others but I am mostly fine. Technology has been a big help - two ongoing all day group chats (one with family, one with friends) helps me feel connected and I am very fortunate to be able to work from home at least for now. The one disappointing thing is that because my commute during normal times is pretty long (3-4 hours total every day round trip) I never really have time during the week to do anything other than come home and eat dinner - now I finish work at 5:00 and with no commute I have the whole evening ahead of me with nowhere to go! I will be happy to be back at work with my coworkers in a regular routine but I will be sad to return to my old commute!

Also I could go for a nice plate of restaurant nachos. Otherwise I am good.

 

[martikus]

My husband just stood up and I looked at him like “where do you think you’re going??” It’s like if someone gets to go somewhere it’s a big deal.

I cannot keep this up much longer. I’ve been really good. The only place I have been is to the grocery and to a couple celebratory car parades. We do have a farm so we will be planting the garden soon. But that’s not fun for me. It does, however, get the husband out of the house. I will be going to my sisters to swim this summer regardless of the virus. I want to take done day trips but I’m afraid those are a pipe dream.

I have a friend who just turned 96. She’s amazing but she lives alone and she has had it. She helps trying to get me to come sit outside her house 6 feet apart. But I would feel awful if she got sick. She has been going out to friends houses for brief stop bys. I think she figures she’s lived this long she’s not wasting the time she has left. That and she can’t stand our governor.

i have been home this whole time and wouldn’t think twice about sitting outside visiting 6+ feet apart.

 

[cedricandsophie]

I’ve turned into a mad cleaning woman. Spend 3 to 4 hours most days cleaning. I’ve gotten thru closets, ceiling fans, kitchen cupboards etc. now on to woodwork and inside windows. Then I read or binge watch Netflix or amazon prime. We take walks every day and I walk the dog.
My husband goes to his office a couple times a week to look at his mail and works from home otherwise. I treasure those moments when he is gone!
I miss traveling. I miss my friends. Zoom chats and cocktail parties are just not enough. I miss going to movies and out to lunch.
I can do this but it’s getting harder.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Makes me think a lot about is the cure worse than the disease. I’ve said it over and over again. Some will die from directly having covid. Some will die because of covid. Which is worse? Which is better?

I hear you and understand what you are saying. It's all so confusing. But for you to have to see it first hand has to be mentally crushing. Not all homes are safe and happy homes right now. We need to remember that. Thank you for the reminder, no matter how painful it is.

 

[bethbuchall]

I'm not entirely sure how to answer. I'm not sure what a "breaking point" is or how it looks. I have broken down several times already but pulled myself back out of it relatively quickly.

We're doing fine overall with the social isolation and dh still has a job that he can do from home. As long as I'm allowed to go outside to walk/run, I'm ok, though I'd prefer to go other places. So, from that perspective, I'm nowhere near my breaking point, and I am not eager to be out in groups of people any time soon.

The part of this that gets to me the most is not being able to fully help those that I love. My parents (both over 80) sold their house at the end of February and need to be out in the next couple of weeks. This is the house that they have lived in for over 40 years. They are trying to clean, sort, organize, pack, etc. all by themselves, and I can't go help. I also realize that I'll never see the house that I spent many of my childhood years in again. My son and daughter-in-law are expecting their first baby (our first grandchild), and I can't go help or know when I'll get to meet this addition to our family. I've imagined this since they told us, and it's all different. My youngest son is in college and having a lot of problems with distance learning in a couple of his classes, and I'm no help. He's turning 21 soon and instead of the fun he was going to have at college, he's stuck with old mom and dad. He won't have an internship this summer and doesn't even know if the college will have in-person classes in the fall, and he's pretty much at his breaking point with the on-line classes. I don't like the uncertainty of knowing when I'll be able to see/help my extended family. I feel like I'm missing such important time with my parents who have a limited number of years left and will be missing important time with a baby who will change so quickly.

So, what does breaking point look like? Is is sobbing in the shower where no one can hear you? Is it letting tears silently roll down your face in the middle of the night? Is it gaining 10 pounds from shoving your emotions in your mouth? I'm here and plan to continue functioning, so I'm not totally broken yet, but I don't think that I can honestly say that I'm doing completely all right either.

Edited to add: I know that we are extremely lucky and that so many people have it way worse than I do. Then I feel guilty over having all of these feelings.