"I Love You"

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I like it to feel special.

Everytime I tell my husband "I love you" or "loves you" it's special to me and special to him Same when he says it to me

Same with our inside joke we have with each other. I'm "short one" (I'm just over 5ft 3in), he's "tall one" (he's over 6ft 5in).

We could say it over and over and it still gives us this comforting, only between you two kind of feeling IYKWIM.

But I absolutely think with the "say it too often it won't feel special" thing (which you're not alone in that opinion) varies drastically between people.

 

[AustinTink]

Everytime I tell my husband "I love you" or "loves you" it's special to me and special to him Same when he says it to me

Same with our inside joke we have with each other. I'm "short one" (I'm just over 5ft 3in), he's "tall one" (he's over 6ft 5in).

We could say it over and over and it still gives us this comforting, only between you two kind of feeling IYKWIM.

But I absolutely think with the "say it too often it won't feel special" thing (which you're not alone in that opinion) varies drastically between people.

Yep. We're all different. That's what makes the world go 'round.

We go out of our way to do kind things for each other every day. That's our love language even if it isn't laid out in three little words. We're 25 years in and it seems to work for us.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yep. We're all different. That's what makes the world go 'round.

We go out of our way to do kind things for each other every day. That's our love language even if it isn't laid out in three little words. We're 25 years in and it seems to work for us.

Totally. Your second statement works perfect for the spin off thread as this thread was about saying words: https://www.disboards.com/threads/i-love-you-without-words-s-o.3768052/

Us saying "short one, tall one" is part of our love language

 

[bigbabyblues]

To my husband, every day, sometimes more than once a day.

 

[disneychrista]

I'll be honest. I am surprised that most that have responded say it daily or multiple times per day.

I would be in the group that would feel that saying or really hearing it "all the time" would make it feel less special. But again I'm sure 26+ years of not having someone to say it to or to say it said to you kind of clouds my opinion on it.

 

[SteveH]

I say it at least twice a day to my wife, when we leave for work and before bed. I'd tell my kids more but 20ish boys don't seem to care when Dad says it, but they still hear it at least a couple times a week.

I was blessed that I said it to mother before her passing, and I heard her say it to me too. I still hate that day more then any other day because it was the last time I will hear it from her.

When my wife and I were going through marriage counseling her pastor made a point to say it, with meaning, every night before bed and never go to bed angry with each other. We've headed that advice and I've tried to teach it to my kids too.

 

[Ladyandthepuppies]

I tell my husband I love him every day, and I mean it. I tell my kids I love them 99 times a day, they are probably sick of hearing it haha. But I struggle to say it to anyone else, even extended family like my cousins.

Like @SteveH I feel lucky that my mother and I said it to each other the last time that we spoke.

I'm sure 26+ years of not having someone to say it to or to say it to you kind of clouds my opinion on it.

Do you mean that you have been dating for the past 26 years, or that you are 26 years old?

 

[Floridaman999]

I say it at the close of most of the conversations I have with the people I love. Just in case, I want the last thing they heard from me be meaningful and positive. You never know if it will be the last thing you ever say.

 

[disneychrista]

Do you mean that you have been dating for the past 26 years, or that you are 26 years old?

Neither. I haven't been in a relationship in 26 years. Or at least not one where "I love you" was something you said.

 

[Kae]

I tell DH, my kids, my family members multiple times a day.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I've been married almost 18 years now. We say I love you a couple times a day and affectionate and still hold hands. It's still special because after 18 years we still want to say it and we still mean it. Even if it part of the "routine" it's special because it's the truth after all these years.

 

[ronandannette]

I have no idea. Dh and I don't say it to each other every day, we know we love each other. To me, saying it every day just makes it no different than a common greeting/salutation. I know other people feel differently but dh and I are on the same page so for us that is how it is.

This is key, regardless of the issue.

 

[disykat]

I think it's important to say I love you to the people you love. I say it to my husband daily, my parents and my now adult children pretty much every visit, and to my close friends and other close family on occasion. My family growing up did NOT say I love you. Expressing emotion wasn't done, it was expected to be understood. As adults, my siblings and I all admit to struggling with feeling unloved at times - and to having difficulty expressing those kinds of emotions. I have made a very conscious effort to say the words - something that didn't come naturally for me at first. (My parents still squirm, but have gotten better - my sister and I both tell them we love them, my brother still can't say the words, much to his wife's dismay.)

I remember a time with my oldest child, when he wouldn't say he loved me too when he was in his early teens. I sat him down for a conversation about it, how he shouldn't feel pressured to say he loved when he didn't, but how it was important to be able to verbalize love to the people you really do love. He was old enough that he could see the differences between his fathers and my extended family (one side was very reticent, the other very over the top saying I love you to everyone all the time) and see benefits and risks. He took it all into consideration. It didn't take him long to start responding "I love you too" on occasion. As an adult, he says initiates saying it to me on occasion. It feels good.

I'm also interested in the big meaning of love discussion here. I don't consider "love" to mean you are willing to die for the person, but at the very least shouldn't you be able to say "I love you" to the people you ARE willing to die for? I'm more likely to express love verbally to the people I love to that extent, and express love more nonverbally to others. As others said, I believe there are different kinds of love and different levels of love.

 

[amberpi]

I say it all the time and I mean each word or I wouldn't say it.

This is my exact feeling too. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Told my mom about 3 hours ago.

Said it to my wife this morning.

Said it to somebody at church a few weeks ago.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Does saying I know count?

Only if you are both Original Trilogy fans.

 

[ncc1701]

Say it to DH every day. My Mom and I say it when we talk on the phone ( almost every day) and when we see each other( a couple of times a week).Did the same with my Dad & Grandparents when they were alive.
And tell my Sis when we see each other. BTW they say it back if they don't say it first.
But I understand that other families are different and you do what works for you.

 

[disneychrista]

Just have one more thing to add. Just like there are different type of love. I also have to say there is a difference between actually saying "I love you" and love ya, love you and other variations.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Just have one more thing to add. Just like there are different type of love. I also have to say there is a difference between actually saying "I love you" and love ya, love you and other variations.

I agree but I think context matters.

My husband and I say "I love you" and "loves you" and "love ya" and we also add in "you's my love" but to us they all mean the same in that we love the other person.

But when I'm talking to say my best friend I might say "love ya" and while I do love her it's in a friendship way it's not the same emotion being emitted as if I'm telling my husband.

 

[disneychrista]

I agree but I think context matters.
My husband and I say "I love you" and "loves you" and "love ya" and we also add in "you's my love" but to us they all mean the same in that we love the other person.

Yes. Of course. Different phrases for different times/occasions.