OP, if you don't like the situation, be sure he knows about it. What does he SAY to you, when you bring it up? Is his response OK with you? Does he truly understand how it makes you feel? Is he entirely unwilling to bend on this? What happens when you say "no" to his demands?
Google "Put Another Log on the Fire" and listen to the song. Is that what your relationship is like? (hopefully without the affair with the sister in the song) If it's what your relationship is like, and you don't like it (not saying you should, but I suppose that there are some who are comfy in a relationship like that), and he won't change, then you have to make some decisions.
But if he's just being cute and goofy and asking you for coffee and it's not abusive or mean, and if you're "allowed" to say "heck no!", or if you have the ability to ask HIM to do things for you when it's not convenient for him, then it might be something you consider changing your mindset about.
I used to think I could be friends with guys too. Until I found a real relationship, and found out that those "friends" were just keeping me on the back burner, hoping that someday I'd notice them. Then they all faded away. I used to be really philosophical about it, just like you're being.
Don't marry a Korean woman who is traditional...once you have your first baby, you are often referred to as "first kid's parent". DH is Korean, and I'm Eamon-umma now, in that culture. My MIL's friends don't call her Kyung, they call her Paul-umma (Paul's mom)....
That said, I don't think of myself in that way. I'd rather be called an umbrella, or the name of a Seattle festival, online!
Yep.
I used to complain to "real life" friends about my boyfriends, and all it got was friends who were angry at the boyfriends. When I met DH, I didn't *want* to talk about him to them. Not the cute stuff, not the great stuff, definitely not the negative stuff.
And DH, as we were going into what we call "the troubles", vented about me to his friends and family, and when we worked it all out and he realized how hard it was to get his friends and family happy with me again, he saw what a mistake it had been to talk to them.
I think, no, I know, you're misunderstanding things.
There are jobs in life that we all encounter. We either do those jobs, or we hire out. If we hired someone to clean up, that person would be called a maid. If we hired someone to drive people around, that person would be called a chauffeur. If we hired someone to cook most meals, that person would be called a chef or cook.
In many places, at home spouses/parents aren't respected by others, because they don't "work". But if a person had to hire people to do ALL those things that many at home spouses/parents do, it would cost a LOT of money. This is a way to remember that an at home spouse/parent is WORTH SOMETHING. I know that I wouldn't even be able to make enough for proper/good daycare, let alone all the other things. And while I do less than many at home parents (I'm a little bit lazy, ALWAYS have been, heck, once a friend who came for the weekend ended up in my kitchen doing my dishes, because it was grossing her out so much! and along with the laziness, I also homeschool DS), if we did both work outside the home, it would be a madhouse doing the stuff I don't tend to do AND the stuff I do do. Not to mention then doing the learning-work with DS in the evenings!
Describing one's at-home jobs in those terms doesn't diminish the at-home person. It reminds them that they do many jobs that are infinitely valuable, and would cost a LOT of money to replace in their entirety.
I hope that helps you see that no one is demeaning themselves by listing those things out about themselves.