RANT: I don't care if you want to sit next to your kids on the airplane

[aristocatz]

I have to say, I'm kind of appalled by some of the responses & it definitely makes me more vigilant for future flights (& bus rides). I'm not referring to the OP, just some of the poster's responses. When I was single or married without children, I gave up my seat all the time to help families out-no big deal. Before I had children, I gave up my seat on buses all the time as well, to help out families, guests with physical, cognitive, or limitations due to age. Cognitive limitations are 100% equal to physical limitations in these situations, in my opinion.

We are now a family of four, with two very small children. We book ahead of time, show up early, pay extra for early boarding & such, & unless there is a weather issue or a basic needs issue with my little ones, we have also bypassed crowded buses to wait for the next less crowded one, etc...but we have also been in situations that could not be avoided-flight delays, cancellations, last minute flight changes that were beyond our control. We've been split up into two, which is no big deal as long as either mom or dad is sitting next to one of our children. Despite these changes, we have never even been put into a situation where we had to ask a guest to change seats. People were always kind enough to offer, without our asking, and we have always responded with appreciation. I"m not sure if they paid extra for the seats they exchanged.

I understand someone not moving, due to their own physical or cognitive limitations.....or maybe they are seated across from their own family. But I guess it just seems to be common human kindness to change seats for a family in need.....or at the very least to just save yourself the aggravation of having to deal with a split up family who needs to get up throughout the flight to tend to their child who is sitting by themselves.

I would hope, at the very least, that the flight attendants would work with guests to ensure children were not separated from their families &/or guests who have to change seats would be compensated accordingly. I can't imagine having to get to the point where I would have to financially bribe my "neighbor" to change seats if I were separated from my children. The only time I came close to doing that was when my 2 year old threw up on the plane & I felt horrendous for the gentleman who was in the aisle seat in our row. He didn't get soiled, but I felt terrible. He was very kind about it & the flight attended changed his seat, but we bought him a drink anyways to help apologize for the troubles.

 

[Mkrop]

I have to say, I'm kind of appalled by some of the responses & it definitely makes me more vigilant for future flights (& bus rides). I'm not referring to the OP, just some of the poster's responses. When I was single or married without children, I gave up my seat all the time to help families out-no big deal. Before I had children, I gave up my seat on buses all the time as well, to help out families, guests with physical, cognitive, or limitations due to age. Cognitive limitations are 100% equal to physical limitations in these situations, in my opinion.

We are now a family of four, with two very small children. We book ahead of time, show up early, pay extra for early boarding & such, & unless there is a weather issue or a basic needs issue with my little ones, we have also bypassed crowded buses to wait for the next less crowded one, etc...but we have also been in situations that could not be avoided-flight delays, cancellations, last minute flight changes that were beyond our control. We've been split up into two, which is no big deal as long as either mom or dad is sitting next to one of our children. Despite these changes, we have never even been put into a situation where we had to ask a guest to change seats. People were always kind enough to offer, without our asking, and we have always responded with appreciation. I"m not sure if they paid extra for the seats they exchanged.

I understand someone not moving, due to their own physical or cognitive limitations.....or maybe they are seated across from their own family. But I guess it just seems to be common human kindness to change seats for a family in need.....or at the very least to just save yourself the aggravation of having to deal with a split up family who needs to get up throughout the flight to tend to their child who is sitting by themselves.

I would hope, at the very least, that the flight attendants would work with guests to ensure children were not separated from their families &/or guests who have to change seats would be compensated accordingly. I can't imagine having to get to the point where I would have to financially bribe my "neighbor" to change seats if I were separated from my children. The only time I came close to doing that was when my 2 year old threw up on the plane & I felt horrendous for the gentleman who was in the aisle seat in our row. He didn't get soiled, but I felt terrible. He was very kind about it & the flight attended changed his seat, but we bought him a drink anyways to help apologize for the troubles.

Once again I think most of us would give up our seats even if we paid for them if we were asked nicely, not in demanding or threatening way like I have seen people post here. "Good luck dealing with my 4 year old, she gets sick" "Enjoy sitting next to my 3 year old, he will talk your ear off" is not the way to get someone to help you. If you approached me or my husband (who I mentioned earlier is like a magnet for getting asked and he has move ALL the times he was asked but is getting sick of it) and said, "gee given the blizzard we got bumped from our flight, would you mine switching seats with me so I can sit with my child, she easily gets ill" or "we missed our connection, do you mind trading seats so I can sit next to him, I would be so nervous not being near him" THEN I would move.

But for whatever reason, I respond "no I am sorry, I cant move" then dont be rude (general you), you as a parent must then ask another person, or take the next flight. It is not that person's problem. It is YOURS the parent!

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

If it's a like seat for a like seat, I'll happily change so anybody can sit together. I will say that almost never happens. It's almost always somebody asking me for my window seat to take their middle seat.

I've been "shamed" a few times by parents separated from their children for not moving. Most recently the middle seat next to me was open and the woman stomped down the aisle telling her child "that's right, you should be crying, we could sit together if it weren't for that horrible woman."

Now, maybe if it had been a shorter flight I would have changed, but I knew I couldn't do it for 4hrs. This happened to be on SWA where I always pay for early bird because I need a window seat. If early bird seems like my number is too high, I pay the extra $40 at the gate for 1-15 boarding.

I'm not exactly claustrophobic but cannot handle being in close proximity with crowds of people. I need my personal space or I flee lol and you can't flee on an airplane. So I choose and pay for a window seat because it gives me a tiny bubble of space to escape the butts to elbows situation of planes.

If I'm bumped and a middle is all that's left, I wait. Now nobody knows this from looking at me. I just look like a selfish lone adult who won't move because "it's my seat". Well I can tell you that mom wouldn't really have gained anything if I'd caved to the shame and switched when we landed in Kasas because halfway through the four hour flight I pulled a Bridesmaids and was trying to flee the plane.

I really resent being forced into a situation of feeling like I have to explain myself to a plane full of people because somebody else feels entitled.

Mind you in my example the child was 6 or 7, not a toddler or infant in a car seat.

 

[aristocatz]

Once again I think most of us would give up our seats even if we paid for them if we were asked nicely, not in demanding or threatening way like I have seen people post here. "Good luck dealing with my 4 year old, she gets sick" "Enjoy sitting next to my 3 year old, he will talk your ear off" is not the way to get someone to help you. If you approached me or my husband (who I mentioned earlier is like a magnet for getting asked and he has move ALL the times he was asked but is getting sick of it) and said, "gee given the blizzard we got bumped from our flight, would you mine switching seats with me so I can sit with my child, she easily gets ill" or "we missed our connection, do you mind trading seats so I can sit next to him, I would be so nervous not being near him" THEN I would move.

But for whatever reason, I respond "no I am sorry, I cant move" then dont be rude (general you), you as a parent must then ask another person, or take the next flight. It is not that person's problem. It is YOURS the parent!

I 100% agree with you about not catering to rude parents. We've never been rude & honestly, have never even been put in a situation where we've even needed to ask. I guess we have been lucky that we have always had people offer in situations like that. There were just a few replies on here of people sounding like they would refuse no matter what.

....actually I take that back, I was rude in one situation & I did have to ask. WDW bus. Bus driver announced for people to please give up their seats to elderly or small children. I was with my then 16 month old & it was quite crowded-my daughter was getting scared & it was difficult to find a poll to easily hold on to. We were in front of a person who looked in their late teens/early 20's who was using an entire seat for their backpack & merchandise bag. I asked politely if she could remove it so my 16 month old could sit (on my lap). She sneered a very rude "I don't think so." I can't recall what I said to her exactly, but I was pretty angry.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I really resent being forced into a situation of feeling like I have to explain myself to a plane full of people because somebody else feels entitled.

I agree.

And honestly, people who like their comfy seat shouldn't feel badly about nestling down with a good book on a 4 hour flight. Maybe they have had a horrible seat for their last 5 flights and things finally went their way. Good for them.

I am sorry if you have to rent a car and drive a long distance home in order for your family to stay together, or wait for the next flight, or stay overnight until the airline can keep your family together. I have done all of these things. It stinks, but that's life. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya lose. But if I paid to be comfortable on a lengthy flight (2+ hours is when I will upgrade), I am keeping that seat.

 

[Aliceacc]

My guess is that the weather and the resultant delays had mom a little crazy. Yes, she should have asked and not demanded. Yes, she should have offered you the better seat.

But, at the end of the day, you were going to the same place on the same plane. In the absence of any medical reasons not to, I would have switched and given that kid the comfort of flying next to mom.

 

[already]

I have to say, I'm kind of appalled by some of the responses & it definitely makes me more vigilant for future flights (& bus rides). I'm not referring to the OP, just some of the poster's responses. When I was single or married without children, I gave up my seat all the time to help families out-no big deal. Before I had children, I gave up my seat on buses all the time as well, to help out families, guests with physical, cognitive, or limitations due to age. Cognitive limitations are 100% equal to physical limitations in these situations, in my opinion.

We are now a family of four, with two very small children. We book ahead of time, show up early, pay extra for early boarding & such, & unless there is a weather issue or a basic needs issue with my little ones, we have also bypassed crowded buses to wait for the next less crowded one, etc...but we have also been in situations that could not be avoided-flight delays, cancellations, last minute flight changes that were beyond our control. We've been split up into two, which is no big deal as long as either mom or dad is sitting next to one of our children. Despite these changes, we have never even been put into a situation where we had to ask a guest to change seats. People were always kind enough to offer, without our asking, and we have always responded with appreciation. I"m not sure if they paid extra for the seats they exchanged.

I understand someone not moving, due to their own physical or cognitive limitations.....or maybe they are seated across from their own family. But I guess it just seems to be common human kindness to change seats for a family in need.....or at the very least to just save yourself the aggravation of having to deal with a split up family who needs to get up throughout the flight to tend to their child who is sitting by themselves.

I would hope, at the very least, that the flight attendants would work with guests to ensure children were not separated from their families &/or guests who have to change seats would be compensated accordingly. I can't imagine having to get to the point where I would have to financially bribe my "neighbor" to change seats if I were separated from my children. The only time I came close to doing that was when my 2 year old threw up on the plane & I felt horrendous for the gentleman who was in the aisle seat in our row. He didn't get soiled, but I felt terrible. He was very kind about it & the flight attended changed his seat, but we bought him a drink anyways to help apologize for the troubles.

I will and have given up my seat, even one that I paid a premium for, to accommodate split up parents. However, after the last incident, the parent better have a good excuse that they absolutely have to be on that particular plane before I move.

It was one of the rare times I was not flying SW. I had paid for a premium, aisle, extra leg room seat. The only two other seats left on the plane was the middle seat next to me and the middle seat in the very, very last row of the plane. I caved to the rather rude mother who was making a scene that I absolutely had to move so she could sit next to her child. I went to the back of the plane where I found myself wedged between 2 what looked to be body builders because their shoulders practically touched each other. Since it was the last row, I couldn't even recline to get out of the shoulder space. I was completely miserable for a long 4 hours. In hindsight and if I had been thinking quicker, I would have told her to go switch with one of the people in the back row. But of course, she wanted the premium seats. While miserable, I got to thinking, why am I sitting here, miserable, inconvenienced and uncomfortable because some stranger didn't want to be inconvenienced themselves to wait for another plane?

So now I will weigh each situation carefully. If it was the above poster with a hurt child, I would jump up and switch in a heartbeat. If somebody had a compelling reason they needed to be home on that plane, I would jump up and switch. But if it is just a parent who wants the convenience of getting home quicker, nope, not doing that again. They can deplane and wait for the next one.

Buses are a completely different story. They are usually short rides and nobody has paid for a seat, unlike the different seats available on a plane that you have to sit hours and hours in. I always give up my seat on a bus.

 

[cjbcam]

Oh my this thread is interesting. Just reading these posts is exactly why I would ask people to switch so I could sit with my kids. I have absolutely no faith in anyone helping if an emergency should arise. All the flights I've taken with my kids I've paid to make sure we sat together and even then we were broken up once. I was not happy and spent hours on the phone trying to straighten it up just days before the flight. The best they could do was put my 2 year old with me, my 4 year old with my DH and my 7&9 year old together spread throughout the plane.
Quite honestly if they hadn't moved people and some stranger had to deal with my younger kids crying or what not its first the companies fault for switching our seats and second if the passenger refused to move too bad for them have fun listening to the crying.
What do you suppose the parent should do? Comfort the kid over top of you? Yes older kids should be fine but really sometimes a parent being with a child is just common sense.
Oh and why should I wait for another plane when there are seats on that one, just for your comfort? And yes I think if you paid extra then you should be reimbursed.
Above anything I think this should fall onto the air companies shoulders. Kids under 5 should have a parent beside them.

 

[gwynne]

Oh my this thread is interesting. Just reading these posts is exactly why I would ask people to switch so I could sit with my kids. I have absolutely no faith in anyone helping if an emergency should arise. All the flights I've taken with my kids I've paid to make sure we sat together and even then we were broken up once. I was not happy and spent hours on the phone trying to straighten it up just days before the flight. The best they could do was put my 2 year old with me, my 4 year old with my DH and my 7&9 year old together spread throughout the plane.
Quite honestly if they hadn't moved people and some stranger had to deal with my younger kids crying or what not its first the companies fault for switching our seats and second if the passenger refused to move too bad for them have fun listening to the crying.
What do you suppose the parent should do? Comfort the kid over top of you? Yes older kids should be fine but really sometimes a parent being with a child is just common sense.
Oh and why should I wait for another plane when there are seats on that one, just for your comfort? And yes I think if you paid extra then you should be reimbursed.
Above anything I think this should fall onto the air companies shoulders. Kids under 5 should have a parent beside them.

I would recommend you discuss your seating needs with the gate agent should a situation arise where you'd like to be moved.
If they cannot assist, they will work with you to book you on another flight.

Boarding anyway and approaching another passenger should be a very last resort. I don't think it's an effective strategy to threaten crying children, and I know I'm not the only passenger that feels this way.

 

[LiveYourLife]

Three words: Noise cancelling headphones

 

[declansdad]

Oh my this thread is interesting. Just reading these posts is exactly why I would ask people to switch so I could sit with my kids. I have absolutely no faith in anyone helping if an emergency should arise. All the flights I've taken with my kids I've paid to make sure we sat together and even then we were broken up once. I was not happy and spent hours on the phone trying to straighten it up just days before the flight. The best they could do was put my 2 year old with me, my 4 year old with my DH and my 7&9 year old together spread throughout the plane.
Quite honestly if they hadn't moved people and some stranger had to deal with my younger kids crying or what not its first the companies fault for switching our seats and second if the passenger refused to move too bad for them have fun listening to the crying.
What do you suppose the parent should do? Comfort the kid over top of you? Yes older kids should be fine but really sometimes a parent being with a child is just common sense.
Oh and why should I wait for another plane when there are seats on that one, just for your comfort? And yes I think if you paid extra then you should be reimbursed.
Above anything I think this should fall onto the air companies shoulders. Kids under 5 should have a parent beside them.

That's what headphones are for.

 

[already]

Oh my this thread is interesting. Just reading these posts is exactly why I would ask people to switch so I could sit with my kids. I have absolutely no faith in anyone helping if an emergency should arise. All the flights I've taken with my kids I've paid to make sure we sat together and even then we were broken up once. I was not happy and spent hours on the phone trying to straighten it up just days before the flight. The best they could do was put my 2 year old with me, my 4 year old with my DH and my 7&9 year old together spread throughout the plane.
Quite honestly if they hadn't moved people and some stranger had to deal with my younger kids crying or what not its first the companies fault for switching our seats and second if the passenger refused to move too bad for them have fun listening to the crying.
What do you suppose the parent should do? Comfort the kid over top of you? Yes older kids should be fine but really sometimes a parent being with a child is just common sense.
Oh and why should I wait for another plane when there are seats on that one, just for your comfort? And yes I think if you paid extra then you should be reimbursed.
Above anything I think this should fall onto the air companies shoulders. Kids under 5 should have a parent beside them.

And that is exactly what the airlines did for you. Both of your children under 5 had a parent next to them.

And no, there may be seats on the plane, but there are not any seats that meet your needs. To think people should give up seats they paid for just because you want them is rather entitled.

And just reading this post is why I now hesitate to switch with demanding parents. My comfort IS just as important as your desire to sit by your older children.

 

[Minniesgal]

I have to say, I'm kind of appalled by some of the responses & it definitely makes me more vigilant for future flights (& bus rides). I'm not referring to the OP, just some of the poster's responses. When I was single or married without children, I gave up my seat all the time to help families out-no big deal. Before I had children, I gave up my seat on buses all the time as well, to help out families, guests with physical, cognitive, or limitations due to age. Cognitive limitations are 100% equal to physical limitations in these situations, in my opinion.

We are now a family of four, with two very small children. We book ahead of time, show up early, pay extra for early boarding & such, & unless there is a weather issue or a basic needs issue with my little ones, we have also bypassed crowded buses to wait for the next less crowded one, etc...but we have also been in situations that could not be avoided-flight delays, cancellations, last minute flight changes that were beyond our control. We've been split up into two, which is no big deal as long as either mom or dad is sitting next to one of our children. Despite these changes, we have never even been put into a situation where we had to ask a guest to change seats. People were always kind enough to offer, without our asking, and we have always responded with appreciation. I"m not sure if they paid extra for the seats they exchanged.

I understand someone not moving, due to their own physical or cognitive limitations.....or maybe they are seated across from their own family. But I guess it just seems to be common human kindness to change seats for a family in need.....or at the very least to just save yourself the aggravation of having to deal with a split up family who needs to get up throughout the flight to tend to their child who is sitting by themselves.

I would hope, at the very least, that the flight attendants would work with guests to ensure children were not separated from their families &/or guests who have to change seats would be compensated accordingly. I can't imagine having to get to the point where I would have to financially bribe my "neighbor" to change seats if I were separated from my children. The only time I came close to doing that was when my 2 year old threw up on the plane & I felt horrendous for the gentleman who was in the aisle seat in our row. He didn't get soiled, but I felt terrible. He was very kind about it & the flight attended changed his seat, but we bought him a drink anyways to help apologize for the troubles.

Very very very well said.

Although I still think it should be up to the airlines to ensure children are seated next to parents. If they are on the same ticket they should be assured a seat together. I can't imagine why this isn't done. I can't see why they would want children separated from parents in a plane when a potential emergency could happen i just don't get it.

I think seats should be allocated when you buy a flight and that those ticketed together should be guaranteed a seat together. It's how Uk airlines do it. BA allocate families seats first so they are together.

 

[Minniesgal]

Do you know what parents nowadays just can't win with members of the general public.

If our kids misbehave we are neglectful, not doing our jobs etc etc etc see it all the time on these boards

If we want to be seated next to our kids to supervise and look after them then we are helicopter parents, entitled etc etc etc.

Quit giving parents such a hard time. Most of us are doing our best day in day out.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

That's It! I'm buying one of these so I'll never have to argue over seat assignment. Well, my wife gets first pick, but I get whatever is left, dangit!

 

[BigAlsGal]

Precisely why I HATE flying. Everyone sucks!

 

[Flight]

That's It! I'm buying one of these so I'll never have to argue over seat assignment. Well, my wife gets first pick, but I get whatever is left, dangit!

View attachment 151700

The best course of action I have seen on this thread! I've got to get me one of those.

 

[cjbcam]

And that is exactly what the airlines did for you. Both of your children under 5 had a parent next to them.

And no, there may be seats on the plane, but there are not any seats that meet your needs. To think people should give up seats they paid for just because you want them is rather entitled.

And just reading this post is why I now hesitate to switch with demanding parents. My comfort IS just as important as your desire to sit by your older children.

I never threatened anyone. I was stating a fact. If a kid is put beside some stranger then they do have to deal with the crying as the parents are not there to help.
I would not demand anything if my request was not granted I guess the airline and passengers beside the child would take the chance. I think it's awfully selfish to make a mom and kid wait for another plane because people won't shift some seats and they say the parent is entitled.
Like I said before if the airline switches you around from what you originally booked it should be on them to make sure they are keeping kids with their parents. But a little common courtesy goes a long way to.

 

[elphaba91]

I really think more responsibility should be placed on the airlines. Children under 5 years are not allowed to fly unaccompanied, which includes sitting in a different class or cabin from their parents. Children aged 5-11 can be unaccompanied but their parents have to sign consent forms and pay an extra fee. They also cannot fly unaccompanied if they would need assistance eating, administering medication, going to the bathroom, etc. on the flight. Airlines will attempt to seat unaccompanied children together or next to a vacant seat if possible. It therefore makes absolutely zero sense that it's fine for airlines to seat children, especially those under 5, away from their parents and instead next to other adult passengers, nor that those other adult passengers should be inconvenienced by parents trying to rectify the situation. I think that airlines should be required to seat a child under a particular age (5? 8? 12? I'm not too sure) next to an accompanying adult. If they want premium seating or to guarantee seating with other adult members of their party they would have to pay for it like any other passenger. If the airline is really unable to accommodate this (e.g. a last minute booking on a flight where there are no pairs of seats left) then the parents would have to provide explicit consent to sitting separately from a child 5+ and would not be allowed to request any further changes from other passengers (I would think that the fee largely covers the extra assistance they are given boarding, etc. which wouldn't be needed if the parents are on the same flight). If they don't consent or have a child 4 or under then unfortunately they would be unable to fly, just as if the flight were sold out. This way 'families' (because you're only a 'family' if you've got a small child, right? ) wouldn't receive some special free advantage that other passengers have to pay for (their seats could easily be non-reclining seats, up the back and next to the toilet), young children wouldn't be sitting on their own/next to a stranger and passengers wouldn't be accosted by parents asking for unreasonable swaps.

 

[Dentam]

Put on headphones and open a book as soon as you sit down. Don't make eye contact with anyone. It's worked for me!