i died my hair nearly black after my wedding, it lightened up quite a bit in the following weeks. i think your hair looks great that color!
chiming in on the birdcage issue, how did we do the kiss: this is actually funny, mark said the minute he saw it, he was nervous about how he was going to lift it up, mine covered my whole face, well, he did lift it and that wasn't the issue (which wasn't really an issue at all really), it was difficult to get it back on, by the end of the day he was a pro, he just lifted up the bottom a little and whammo!
i hope you go with a BC veil. i think they are so beautiful!
i don't think you'll need a bustle, but you're going to have to carry the train on your arm so it doesn't get filthy, especially at sbp, which can never be sparkling clean since its outside!