Should I allow almost 18 year old daughter to bring boyfriend?

[KitKat_Tink]

I'm a teenage girl around the same age (graduating high school in June) and there is no way I want my boyfriend coming on my family's trip to WDW this summer. Sure he's an awesome guy but family time having fun is needed. Maybe your daughter will understand that too. If she is a senior it would be the last big trip before college (like mine). Regardless family time is better without tag-along boyfriends. And them getting "intimate" on your vacation should be the least of your concerns. Teenagers find ways around everything. If they want sex, they will have it. Even with no car, or no privacy at home. There are ways...

 

[PaulaSue]

You are asking strangers? To me that means a BIG NO! Go with your gut.

 

[NEV2OLD4DIS]

I really appreciate all the opinions received so far. Believe me, I know if there is a will there is a way for teens to have sex if they choose. I think I will tell her that she may bring a GF if she likes, and just hopefully she will find someone that can go. I know her best friend can't come. No worries about break ups, etc. I really would love to see my DS who will be 8 in April, go one more time while he still "believes" in all the characters, and before we are helping with her college expenses in '11 along with 1 already there.

I cherish the family trips, and miss the days when the oldest two (son and DD are only 2 years apart) just loved being with us at Disney. Our last trip DD did spend some time with me, but I also needed to enjoy little DS on his trip. DD really does need to have company though, as I will not allow her to stay home here with my college boy for 12 days, and she does get very moody being with us and her little brother. I want to enjoy my vacation without the moodiness. Though the oldest is the most respectable son that I could ask for, I'm afraid of what he might let her get away with, being a college boy.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Okay, I preface this by saying I read the title only.
My immediate response was....I'd rather take him then A) have a miss moping daughter the whole trip B) leave her behind to get in "trouble"
But seriously, I think there is nothing wrong with having an extra "kinda adult" along to enjoy the trip, make more memories and have "new" fun times....it really is fun watching the newbies take on Disney

Last trip, my niece was on her cell, talking and texting 90%, seriously , all the time...morning noon and night, eating, walking riding, UGH, what a waste of time young love! .I felt bad for the rest of the family, she was so un-engaged in their yearly family vacation.
This year we're likely taking ds friend with us...they're teens and will have a ball together!
Good Luck deciding and have a magical time!

 

[*Seanaci*]

Hi I have 5 kids 16,14,8,6 year old girls and 1 5 year old son. I think each situation would be diff. You know what kind of kid your daughter and the boyfriend are. You know how they act back home. My oldest just turned 16 always very responsible always old for her age yes she is still a kid but a very responsible kid. She hangs with a older crowd she in the all school plays heavily involved in the corale and chorus and a kid taking all college classes. The kids she is with may be older but are all very respectful and from great families they have great values and don't get into trouble I;m not dumb I was young once too but I keep my eyes open too. So that all being said she is bringing her boyfriend along this June I am taking all 6 kids with me driving from Pa non the less. I have no problem sharing room with him I have 5 kids whats one more they will not be sleeping together he gets along with our whole family. He has been to Disney before with his family he is also 1 of 5 and with the high when he was involved in chorus. He is older and a great kid she could be with a younger kid who is a jerk and only looking for one thing. Instead she is with someone who likes acting/ chorus doing well in school and has a goals for the future just like her. My advice to you is this you know your daughter you know the boyfriend do what feels right for you. My 2nd daughter is not as mature as my first daughter I'm not sure I'll even let her drive at 16. Every kid is diff. so is every situation good luck with whatever you decide.

Ditto hands down to everything above.

I have an older brother and a younger sister. Both were not very mature as teens or very responsible. My mom would have never let it fly for either of them to bring a bf/gf on a family vacation. She probably would have on the other hand let me bring a bf. It's totally a situtaional thing. And you have to do what is right for your family. And if you don't trust your daughter enough, then no BF for her while on vacation.

 

[Mandychelle79]

My parents took my sister boyfriend once or twice while they were still in high school. But my parents are also the ones who let my guy friend move in with us since his parents really didnt give a crap about him.

 

[momofrrr]

absolutley NO. We had the very same dilema in December. We have a DS22 and his girlfried, who was also 22, had dated for about 2 1/2 years so we agreed last February that she was welcome to come along. We have two daughters to the rooming would be simple, girls in one room DH, DS and myself in the other. Fast forward to Thanksgiving Day, she did not come over all day and called him about 8:00. He left to go see her and was home in about 20 minutes, she broke up with him. The tickets were all bought, both airline and park. Dinner reservations were made.......We lost a lot of money and then to add salt to the rub, she would not leave him alone while we were at DW. She called constantly just to upset him..........Boyfriends or girlfriends do not belong on a family vacation. Until there is a ring on the finger they are not family. Won't happen here again!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I wouldn't let one of my boys make the trip if they were invited, so I guess that I wouldn't allow them to bring along a GF either. That said, maybe you can invite their whole family...

 

[reducereuserecycle]

maybe you can invite their whole family

best idea so far

 

[viviensmama]

Honestly, if you want to see her at all during the trip, I would say no. If you aren't concerned about her not wanting to do things with the group, then say yes. In general, she probably won't want to spend as much time with you with a boyfriend there. Teenage relationships are too much drama for a family vacation if you want to spend a lot of time together, and I'm guessing you are.

 

[dizcrazee]

absolutley NO. We had the very same dilema in December. We have a DS22 and his girlfried, who was also 22, had dated for about 2 1/2 years so we agreed last February that she was welcome to come along. We have two daughters to the rooming would be simple, girls in one room DH, DS and myself in the other. Fast forward to Thanksgiving Day, she did not come over all day and called him about 8:00. He left to go see her and was home in about 20 minutes, she broke up with him. The tickets were all bought, both airline and park. Dinner reservations were made.......We lost a lot of money and then to add salt to the rub, she would not leave him alone while we were at DW. She called constantly just to upset him..........Boyfriends or girlfriends do not belong on a family vacation. Until there is a ring on the finger they are not family. Won't happen here again!

Oh man, that's bad! I think I would be talking to some parents about a reimbursement on that money.

 

[Hannathy]

Oh man, that's bad! I think I would be talking to some parents about a reimbursement on that money.

For a 22 yr old ADULT? No way I'm covering my adult children's problems.

 

[Goofy_Dad_24]

Oh that's fair! You would punish your child for growing into a mature independent young adult, because that is what they are at 18, and reward immaturity with a paid trip. OK..............

Sorry I think I chose the wrong word when I was writing that. I think I should have used dependent/independent rather than mature/immature.

 

[NEV2OLD4DIS]

Knew when I posted this topic that I would get so many opinions, but I didn't think of the maybe responses. After reading each one, I realized that is not so much as them possibly having a quickie if they choose, but I'm giving them the opportunity which in my own house there is not. She'll be a senior this coming fall, as here we must be 6 by August something to start 1st grade. Once hs is over, then I feel as a mom that I have passed along any values/beliefs and her decisions will now be her own. College life will be her responsibility. My son's gf will be going to the same college as him next year, and I still do not let them up in his room without the door open. I do not want THAT going on here!

I love the responses from those who are/were allowed to bring their bf, gf. I wouldn't have been allowed, but then again we never could afford vacations back then. I remember looking at my hs yearbook, and being so jealous of the best times others wrote which including their boyfriends on vacations. No, she will not enjoy a vacation with us and her little brother and the attitude will make it miserable.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

Knew when I posted this topic that I would get so many opinions, but I didn't think of the maybe responses. After reading each one, I realized that is not so much as them possibly having a quickie if they choose, but I'm giving them the opportunity which in my own house there is not. She'll be a senior this coming fall, as here we must be 6 by August something to start 1st grade. Once hs is over, then I feel as a mom that I have passed along any values/beliefs and her decisions will now be her own. College life will be her responsibility. My son's gf will be going to the same college as him next year, and I still do not let them up in his room without the door open. I do not want THAT going on here!

I love the responses from those who are/were allowed to bring their bf, gf. I wouldn't have been allowed, but then again we never could afford vacations back then. I remember looking at my hs yearbook, and being so jealous of the best times others wrote which including their boyfriends on vacations. No, she will not enjoy a vacation with us and her little brother and the attitude will make it miserable.

Thank you for your response. Many times questions like yours are asked and the OP is never heard from again. It's interesting to hear your thoughts on the various views given here.

I hope your family enjoys the wonderful vacation.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

Oh man, that's bad! I think I would be talking to some parents about a reimbursement on that money.

Why would you want to be reimbursed by the 22yr old's parents?

 

[parkers218]

Just remember, your younger daughter is old enough to remember if you allow him to go. When she is the same age, she may want the same thing, but this time it may not be with a trustworthy, good kid. Your younger daughter is going to want the same treatment and is going to put up a fight if she doesn't get it. I'm not saying don't bring the boy along this time, but just think ahead to the future in your decision and how you will handle things and justify bringing your older daugter's bf, but possibly not bringing your younger daughter's bf when she is the same age. Of course, you could always use the excuse that your older daughter's bf had never been before and you felt bad for him.

Yes I agree with the above. I think it would send the wrong message to your younger child. You sound like an involved caring parent. You don't want your youngest thinking that this is ok if it really isn't and you are just worried about her being moody during your vacation. It is not about sex because like others have said they will find a way if they really want to. I think it is about what kind of examples you want to set for your children about what you think is appropriate. Ultimately it is YOUR decision but even though she is almost an adult she is still living in YOUR house. Everyone is different but I have already told my oldest (10) when we had THE TALK that we don't have friends in our bedrooms and no one sleeps together in mommys house if they are not married no matter how old they are and that goes for our friends too. Those who disagree or don't like it just don't stay with us when they are in town. What they do outside the house is up to them but I think sometimes people think things aren't such a big deal but kids notice EVERYTHING and they take notes
But like I said this is my opnion you have to decide what is most important to you let us know what you decide

 

[chrisw127]

Every family is different. We've got 2 boys that are 21 and 20. Good kids, doing well in college. This will make the third trip we've invited their long time girlfriends to come along, and I'm glad to have them. We have a "girl's room" and a "boy's room", and everyone has a blast. I love them both, and am glad that my sons have shown such good taste in the girls they've chosen. I think it's an awesome opportunity to spend time with and get to know someone who's so important to your kids, and they get the chance to see what your family is like.

I love this answer. I hope when my kids are this age, I can have the same great attitude.

 

[MusiqChic99]

My mom would have let my boyfriend come when I was 18. In fact i think she would have moved him in the house. I often wonder if she loved him more then she loved me. We broke up after 2 years and I think to this day she still wishes I was with that guy. *sigh*

Saying that....my mom knew I was having sex with him. I told her. That is our relationship. Was she happy about it....most definitely not but she couldn't control everything I did when I left the house.

If my mother had let him come on a vacation with me, I would not have had sex with him while we were on vacation. I think that is disrespectful. I was molded differently then most teenagers though. I'm 28 and have old fashion values.

I think this decision is best made based on your own judgement of your daughter and her boyfriend.

BTW...if my sister wanted her boyfriend with her on vacation, my mom would have said HECK NO! But my sister was very good at being disrespectful to my parents. It really does depend on the kid sometimes.

 

[ashleyd725@hotmail.c]

You know your daughter best. You know what type of person she is.
If she decides not to partake in the activities you fear now she is not going to go ahead with that just because they have the chance.
When I was 17 I had plenty of oppurtunities to things with my longtime boyfriend, but I did not because I knew that wasn't right for me.
Heck our senior trip was to Disney and the magic there didn't make me change my mind. lol
I think taking your DD's boyfriend would be a great experience for everyone. As long as you like him and he is respectful I dont see a problem.