How close are you to your breaking point?

[Searc]

Ive reached my breaking point when this all started--I knew it was going to be a very long time before anything would be moving again--so far were locked up until may 26 we need 14 straight days of no new cases and I dont see that happening either--

Im just tired of exicting and not living--all we do is eat sleep and breath next day same as the first-and repeat--once in awhile we can go to the store need food at some point

You're in Wisconsin, right? The criteria isn't 14 days of no new cases.

Here is the correct information for how our state will proceed with opening ~ https://www.cbs58.com/news/badger-b...ines-criteria-for-wisconsin-to-reopen-economy

 

[mom2rtk]

And on a less serious spectrum, a lot of ppl have a lot less challenging situations then others. I by no means have it the worst, but DH is essential & goes into work everyday leaving me home alone with a 2 yr & but I have to try to work from home. I love having more time with DS, but it’s sucks I have to try to work. I have relatives with older kids or no kids & they’re enjoying their time off & cleaning their houses & turning their backyards into a summer oasis. So yeah, I’m over it, while other ppl may not find it to be so bad.

I feel bad for those trying to care for young kids while trying to work from home. my boys are 25 and 27 now. But I still remember one conference call when they started a water gun fight in the family room. I think they were 3 and 5. I can't even imagine trying to deal with that day after day.

 

[takemethere]

past the breaking point

 

[RamblingMad]

My friends are starting to post conspiracy bull. And I’d consider them at risk based on age. They’re losing it.

 

[hsmamato2]

I see some social distance socializing happening on some front lawns and driveways.... small groups of 5 or 6, all standing or sitting 6-10 feet apart... a walk in the woods,on a wide open trail....it isn't the end of all socializing, but it sure feels very different. Most of socializing is now virtual,online,over phones and video. in our area the rule is 5 people,absolutely no more than a group of ten. And masks in all places where you can't distance,like a grocery store.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

So I have a question for those not visiting friends & family, do you plan until there is a vaccine or cure before you see them again?

No. As I stated on other threads, while I support slow & educated reopenings, I don't think waiting until there is a vaccine or cure is possible.

No. As soon as it is "legal" and if all parties agree. I will, however, stay out of crowds and maintain some social distancing from the general public.

For us personally, this. Our county has some of the strictest SIP orders right now, even within our own state. I'm hoping that they will relax some of them (allowing us the ability to hike or go to parks again?) where it's allowed I can see my parents, even in a socially distanced manner, when they reissue our SIP orders this week.

 

[lifesavacation]

I haven’t hit a breaking point yet, but Easter was a real low point for me. I was so very angry all day. It was a tough day for me to socially distance.

I had far more anxiety at the start of this then I do now. All the worries about my small business have come true. We are closed. I had to lay people off. I got through it, as awful as it was. I have a little bit of hope that the SBA loan will come through. We signed the loan docs last Wednesday and it should fund in 7-10 days. That will give me an extra 10 weeks to regroup.

The one thing I’m struggling with is a bit of hypochondria (I think that’s what it’s called). My allergies are a mess right now and the sore throat, stuffy nose, and cough that I’ve had all month are triggering anxiety. And I have a frozen shoulder which is so painful. The doctor prescribed a pain medication, but I’m afraid to take it in case I have an adverse reaction that requires an ER visit. I know my thought process is off but I can’t seem to dampen down the worries.

 

[Colleen27]

But their are reports of bitter parents. Parents that are less than happy to have young adults return home. Charging them rent. Charging them water use. It is so detrimental to students that are trying to adjust to life at home, vs. life on college campus. It makes me sick.

That might not be bitterness. It might be financial stress. My kids are thriving right now, financially. With the rule changes in the CARES act, all three are/were able to get unemployment (one is back to work already)... and all three are getting/will be getting (processing delays are still brutal here) more than they were earning while they were working. Meanwhile, *my* bills have skyrocketed - our grocery bill has close to tripled, and water and electricity are up by about 50% because everyone is home all the time and the household size has essentially doubled - and since they're all adult-dependents, they didn't count towards our stimulus payment. I don't have the kids contributing to the bills because we're able to absorb those increases, but not everyone can. Particularly those families with lower-earning wage earners in "essential" retail or service industry occupations who get the risk of going to work every day for less money than their laid off peers are receiving.

Have you told him that? Things that are obvious to me are not always to DH and visa versa.

Sounds like perhaps he’s nearing his “breaking point” too. I think many of us are just going to have to buckle up for a bumpy ride until things normalize and hopefully emerge without too much permanent damage.

That's exactly it. We're all at/near that point, and trying to hash it out now just leads to arguments. In his mind, this is a "vacation" for those of us at home - and for the boys, it really is, which I think he resents even though there's nothing they can do about it - and he feels like the least we can do in our newfound lives of luxury is keep things normal for him since he doesn't get that time off.

He's also pretty stressed about money, even though the finances are my department, because he knows we're spending a ton more than we were a couple months ago just to keep the house running. The nest emptying was a bit of relief in a budget that isn't painfully tight but certainly is stretched with one kid in college and another still in private school, and now all of that "light at the end of the tunnel" is gone. We had four kids move out last year, and three of them are now back indefinitely.

And he grew up in a family where if you weren't in school, you worked full time. And if you were in school, you worked part time. So he's having a hard time accepting the necessity of three adult kids sitting around unemployed right now. If it were up to him, they'd be applying to make minimum wage at the local grocery store because they're all hiring like mad right now, rather than sitting home on unemployment. But I don't want them taking on that additional virus risk, and bringing it home to us, especially since it would come at a financial loss to them.

I think it’s because this is not just an epidemiological issue. The medical experts are there to give advice on their area of expertise, however, this is affecting a lot more than medical issues specifically related to this disease. That’s why there are other experts and then governments are making decisions based on all factors.

Loads of medical experts have come out and said we should continue as we are until there is a vaccine. I’m not an expert in any of these things, but as a person living in society, I feel like it would be impossible to keep this shelter in place for years without an absolute breakdown in everything.

This post deserves more than a like.

The public health perspective is oriented around just one goal - preventing every preventable case and death. It doesn't concern itself with other things, like whether measures that contain illness result in the collapse of supply chains (as some executives in the food industry are now warning is imminent) or result in widespread evictions the moment legal proceedings are allowed to resume. This is a society-wide issue and demands a whole-society response, not just the expertise of doctors and epidemiologists.

 

[mom2rtk]

I haven’t hit a breaking point yet, but Easter was a real low point for me. I was so very angry all day. It was a tough day for me to socially distance.

I had far more anxiety at the start of this then I do now. All the worries about my small business have come true. We are closed. I had to lay people off. I got through it, as awful as it was. I have a little bit of hope that the SBA loan will come through. We signed the loan docs last Wednesday and it should fund in 7-10 days. That will give me an extra 10 weeks to regroup.

The one thing I’m struggling with is a bit of hypochondria (I think that’s what it’s called). My allergies are a mess right now and the sore throat, stuffy nose, and cough that I’ve had all month are triggering anxiety. And I have a frozen shoulder which is so painful. The doctor prescribed a pain medication, but I’m afraid to take it in case I have an adverse reaction that requires an ER visit. I know my thought process is off but I can’t seem to dampen down the worries.

When this all started, I was dealing with a terrible cough I had already had for a couple weeks. Just endless. It went on for at least 6 weeks total. I knew it wasn't Covid, as I never ran a fever and the cough was productive (Covid is said to have a dry cough). But dang. Day after day after day of being sick in the middle of a pandemic is just so frustrating and anxiety inducing.

I had a frozen shoulder pretty much all of last year. You really have my sympathy dealing with that right now on top of all this. More than once I've told my family how grateful I am not to be dealing with that right now. My PCP tried some high dose anti inflammatory for me but it did nothing. No pain medicine ever touched it. I tried the exercises and all that did was make it worse. Finally in October I saw the ortho for a shoulder injection. A couple weeks later it dawned on my that I could move it again. Mine still hurts (17 months after it started), but I have most of my range of motion back. I was just about to see the ortho for a follow up to see what to do next when this happened. I highly recommend seeing someone as soon as you can when things open up. Maybe even make some calls now to see if you can get an appointment on the books. I have a hunch stuff like this is going to be really backed up when places open back up.

And lastly, I hope your loan comes through soon and you can worry just a bit less for a while.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Understood, but your characterization of dynamics different than yours as "sickening" is a little uncalled for. Families can function happily in different ways.

I was referring to the parents that are very resentful that their college aged children are back home right now. Some are being downright cruel to their children. Not every home is a happy home.

 

[lifesavacation]

When this all started, I was dealing with a terrible cough I had already had for a couple weeks. Just endless. It went on for at least 6 weeks total. I knew it wasn't Covid, as I never ran a fever and the cough was productive (Covid is said to have a dry cough). But dang. Day after day after day of being sick in the middle of a pandemic is just so frustrating and anxiety inducing.

I had a frozen shoulder pretty much all of last year. You really have my sympathy dealing with that right now on top of all this. More than once I've told my family how grateful I am not to be dealing with that right now. My PCP tried some high dose anti inflammatory for me but it did nothing. No pain medicine ever touched it. I tried the exercises and all that did was make it worse. Finally in October I saw the ortho for a shoulder injection. A couple weeks later it dawned on my that I could move it again. Mine still hurts (17 months after it started), but I have most of my range of motion back. I was just about to see the ortho for a follow up to see what to do next when this happened. I highly recommend seeing someone as soon as you can when things open up. Maybe even make some calls now to see if you can get an appointment on the books. I have a hunch stuff like this is going to be really backed up when places open back up.

And lastly, I hope your loan comes through soon and you can worry just a bit less for a while.

I saw an ortho doctor via telemedicine 2 weeks ago. He said to follow up in 2 months and he’ll do a cortisone injection via ultrasound. I start PT this week. The last place I want to be is at the medical center, but I’m in so much pain that I’m desperate to do something that may help. It’s great that you have improved. That gives me hope that the injection will help.

 

[mom2rtk]

I saw an ortho doctor via telemedicine 2 weeks ago. He said to follow up in 2 months and he’ll do a cortisone injection via ultrasound. I start PT this week. The last place I want to be is at the medical center, but I’m in so much pain that I’m desperate to do something that may help. It’s great that you have improved. That gives me hope that the injection will help.

Believe me, I totally get it. I'm not sure how long I'd wait either. I know I want nowhere near a medical facility right now, but remembering how bad it hurt and how it never let up, I'd probably go sooner rather than later. I'd consider at least getting your appointment on the books for 2 months out, so you don't call when you're ready and find out there's a 3 month wait.

The injection was a thing of beauty for me. We had a crappy health insurance plan, so I pretty much had to pay OOP, but it was worth all of that and more. It didn't help immediately, but over a couple weeks the difference was remarkable. As I said, I still have shoulder pain, but nothing at all like before.

Best of luck. I hope you'll let me know how it goes. I know my family got tired of hearing about it, so if you want to dump your frustration on someone, drop me a line!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I was referring to the parents that are very resentful that their college aged children are back home right now. Some are being downright cruel to their children. Not every home is a happy home.

College kids are adults. Yes it sucks that some have crappy parents but at least they’re adults and have choices.

There are small children being abused right now with no one to advocate for them because they are stuck in the house not seen by anyone. No teachers or other family members are able to see them right now.

I have a college son home right now. We enjoy having him home but it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. IMO it’s very hard to go live back at home once you live on your own. I was on my own since I was 19 and the thought of ever going back home was dreadful. I couldn’t imagine having to do that after having full control of my life.

I understand why some parents may be charging their kids rent....some people are having financial troubles right now. They may need the assistance. I’m not charging my son anything (he’s not working either) but if he doesn’t like what I cook for dinner he’s more than welcome to go buy his own food. Which he does.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I just caught up on this thread. I like that people have been forthcoming about how they're feeling - right, wrong or indifferent. It's nice to get to know people in a way that we don't or can't always, on regular threads. Some of your posts moved me. I don't think anyone should be criticized here. We're all coming from different places and have a right to our feelings. This thread's become kind of a sounding board, which we all need right now, since we've never seen anything quite like this before. Thanks for all who shared.

I don't even know where to start, which is unusual for me since normally when I'm ready to respond to a thread the words just come right out. But lately they haven't. And I've been mostly quiet throughout all of this. I just don't have much energy. It's zapped. My sleep is off. Apparently I was talking in my sleep about a ventilator the other night. I don't think I've done that since many years ago on my first real job out of nursing school that was very overwhelming and from which I cried myself home every day.

Not doing that now, thankfully, but feeling a similar type of work-related stress, as I'm now working in our Covid units, which would be really hard for me to describe to people unfamiliar with the hospital environment. I wouldn't really want to anyway, I'm just keeping it mostly inside for now, where it belongs. (And discussing privately w friends from work for support.) Over the years I've taken care of patients with every type of germ imaginable, and never worried about it. But not having the right equipment was tough to reconcile at the beginning of all this. And emotionally draining. I also lost my mother prior to this after caring for her at home for over a year so that didn't help. And more that I won't get into; I'd be here all day! But together it's enough to make me take pause and try to figure it all out and how I feel about everything, etc. Talking to people at work, everyone is in the same boat. All are stressed. We are going to have a lot of medical workers coming out of this needing support. All time off has been cancelled; people are working outside their areas of expertise, working overnight shifts which they hadn't done in 25yrs, working with people they don't know, etc. It does feel like how I imagine a war zone would feel. And I think we're all grieving in a way for our previous roles and jobs. We're unsure if it will ever go back to the way it was.

It's nice to drive down the street and see hearts and notes cheering us on, and we really appreciate all the support from the public. But we don't always feel cared about by everyone. Strangely enough one of the things that moved me the most was seeing our governor practically crying in frustration at a press conference trying to procure masks and other supplies for us. It felt like he cared. Once at work the feeling of cameraderie is pretty good among us worker bees. So it may be that we relate to other healthcare workers the most right now, and that's ok.

I feel fortunate we can still pay our bills and put food on the table, etc. I am glad to have a very supportive family. I like having us all together. I just have been so exhausted on my days off that I haven't been able to do hardly any of the many things on my to-do list that I'd already put off for a long time. I know I will eventually. We just need to get through this.

I am so, so sorry to read of your Moms passing. I know she has lived in your home for many years.

Thanks for all you are doing. Thanks for giving care to ill patients. They are lucky to have you.

Blessings to you.

 

[cobright]

So I have a question for those not visiting friends & family, do you plan until there is a vaccine or cure before you see them again?

No, that would be exercising far more caution than is warranted, even for my household that includes a very at risk person.

So what if there never is one?

With fairly non-intrusive management, the risk of contracting and spreading the virus becomes negligible once the total active cases is brought under control. Nobody limits their activity for lack of a SARS or Ebola vaccine.

This whole social distancing was to flatten the curve so hospitals aren’t overwhelmed. overwhelmed hospital leads to unnecessary deaths. You can’t stop this virus. Most, if not all of us, will get it.

This is a fairly pervasive bit of misinformation. One purpose of social distancing and self-isolation orders is to flatten the curve in order to avoid additional deaths from overloaded hospitals.

It's also meant to buy time for us to implement regular testing and contact tracking systems. Once we begin testing the entire population regularly, 80-90% of us can go back to life as almost normal. Things like keeping more space between you and strangers, and face coverings in public spaces should remain as precautions.

There is no reason for everyone, or even most people have to get this. That's a defeatist message that seems intended to get people comfortable with a false dichotomy; choosing the financial costs of self-isolation vs. the human cost of opening up the economy. When there is a third (and other) options being deployed in other countries that reopens their economies and also greatly shuts down the transmission rates.

 

[monarchsfan16]

I'm pretty much there. I'm a speech pathologist in the school system, and even with no kids of my own, the move to virtual learning has been brutal. I'm working more than ever before (and that's saying something), there's no distinction between home and work, and there is no escape. So many have accomplished so much at home. My house is a disaster. I've kept speech services going though for my students, kept our dogs alive, and my husband and I are fed each day. That's all I've managed.

It doesn't help either that we were supposed to be boarding a Disney cruise today. And "to promote social distancing", my district chopped this week's spring break to just 3 days. My reality as a SLP is that I'll be working again on Wednesday, to be ready for when the kids return to learning on Thursday. Originally I was supposed to have this whole week off. I'm TIRED.

I get terrible cabin fever and this all started just as we were coming out of winter. It has been a gray, gloomy, cold spring. And there is no escape. I can't even get excited about planning future vacations, because I don't know, between virus uncertainty and economic uncertainty, if they will happen.

 

[mjkacmom]

College kids are adults. Yes it sucks that some have crappy parents but at least they’re adults and have choices.

There are small children being abused right now with no one to advocate for them because they are stuck in the house not seen by anyone. No teachers or other family members are able to see them right now.

I have a college son home right now. We enjoy having him home but it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. IMO it’s very hard to go live back at home once you live on your own. I was on my own since I was 19 and the thought of ever going back home was dreadful. I couldn’t imagine having to do that after having full control of my life.

I understand why some parents may be charging their kids rent....some people are having financial troubles right now. They may need the assistance. I’m not charging my son anything (he’s not working either) but if he doesn’t like what I cook for dinner he’s more than welcome to go buy his own food. Which he does.

My friend is an EI speech therapist in a very poor area (Paterson NJ), and she hates some of the situations her kids are in that she doesn’t always see in person. Not abuse, but just not caring or nurturing, parents who have no clue on even how to play with their children.

 

[Dznypal]

thanks searc for the link yes Im sorry I wrote that wrong--its a decline in number of cases and not--theres no new cases--decline and not no new cases is what I should have said

I still dont see that happening anytime soon--even may 26 date

Im also tired of all these cutesy terms for this mess--social distancing--badger bounceback--just call it what it is

just fed up

 

[DLgal]

I miss Disneyland and restaurants, but other than that, my life is much the same. I am a SAHM so I'm now dealing with schooling from home, which honestly, I'm over. I don't belong to a gym and I am still maintaining my workout routine both at home and outdoors. I am an introvert and don't typically socialize outside of home much anyway.

It's starting to get hot here though. And our pools are closed. I hope they reopen by Memorial Day at least. Our HOA is being very strict and I really don't see how pools can be a danger with this virus.

 

[bethbuchall]

So I have a question for those not visiting friends & family, do you plan until there is a vaccine or cure before you see them again?

No, but visiting family members involves driving out of town and staying with them. I can't do it and social distance from them. Once restrictions are eased, we will get together. We'll still take some precautions. For example, I'll isolate for a couple of weeks before going to see my parents. Then I'll wait at least a couple of weeks before I go see my son and daughter-in-law. I'm going to work on keeping my public exposure low so that I can be closer to family. I'm much less worried about getting this than I am about passing it on which is probably silly given my age, etc.